Dark Beauty

Chapter 22

‘Hey, so are we going to Avery’s house to watch the Modern Family marathon or not?’ Jake closed his locker and looked at me. 
‘Oh, it’s today?’ I had totally forgotten, all three of us were addicted to that show. It was so funny. We would laugh until we were out of breath. ‘I’m going out with Lucas today, he needs to go to this seminar for his history project and wanted me to help him. I’m sorry.’
‘You always have something with Lucas.’ Jake mumbled. ‘You don’t even have time for your friends anymore.’ 
‘It’s not like that Jake, I promised I’d help and I’m good at history. Plus, he’s my boyfriend.’ 
‘Okay, go watch a lame seminar to help little poor Lucas.’ Jake said. ‘But we’re not cancelling tonight for the third time Leila!’ 
Third time? Had I already cancelled three times? 
‘The last time we saw each other after school was when we had the problem with Peter.’ Jake remembered. ‘You promised Jessica you would help her and now here you are, doing nothing about it.’
‘Well what have you done about it Jake?’ I asked.
‘Oh, I’m glad you asked. For the past few months since you’ve been dating Lucas I have hanged out with Peter some couple of times. He might not have told me anything about Jessica, but at least I’m keeping an eye on him. And you know what, he’s actually a really nice guy, but of course you wouldn’t know that, would you?’
‘Jake…’ I was going to apologize but he interrupted me. 
‘You know, every time you say you have something with Lucas it’s to help him in some kind of project or essay. When was the last time you guys just hanged out for fun?’ Jake asked
I kept staring at him, without an answer.
‘That’s what I thought.’ Jake turned around and walked off.
I can’t believe Jake and I fought again! It was ages ago since we last fought. Lucas and I weren’t even dating back then. 
Jake was right, I hadn’t hung out with them for so long. Avery sometimes watched Lucas’ football practice with me, but it wasn’t the same thing. I thought it was boring but Lucas always asked me to watch it. This week had been going well up until now. Rebecca hadn’t even looked at me; after what she did to me in the locker room. Maybe she was scared that I would tell, even though she had threatened me not to. Or maybe she wanted me to keep wondering what her next move was? 
Now Jake was mad at me and it was all my fault. I’ve been the crappiest friend ever these last months, but what could I do? I just felt that if I stop hanging out with Lucas so much, he will leave me. I don’t know why I feel this way; I should feel confident and secure about our relationship. Now I see that if I stop hanging out with Jake and Avery, they are the ones who will leave me. I really missed my friends.
It’s not that I didn’t like hanging out with Lucas. I did, really, but I just didn’t like his friends. They were so different. All I really wanted was to go to Avery’s house and watch Modern Family, but I had promised Lucas that I would help him. 
Now was my chance to prove to him that I liked hanging out with him, regardless of what we were doing.

It turned out I actually liked going to the seminar with Lucas. It was a really interesting seminar about World War II. I even brought a notebook to write some things down, so Lucas wouldn’t be so lost. I was so captivated by the professor’s lecture that I hadn’t even realized Lucas had fallen asleep! How long had he been asleep? 
I woke him up when the seminar was over. 
‘I can’t believe you fell asleep.’ I said as we left the auditorium.
‘Well, why didn’t you wake me up?’ Lucas asked in an irritated tone.
‘I didn’t realize you were sleeping; I was too focused on the seminar.’ Was he really going to blame me for that? 
We walked through the school corridors in silence. A cold breeze swept through my face and I could feel an argument boiling up. Lucas face was tense as if he was trying not to show how mad he was. But why was he mad? I had done him a favor by coming with him and now he was going to blame me for not noticing if he had been paying attention or not? 
‘I really don’t know why you’re mad.’ I said. 
‘You could have looked at me once.’ He said, ‘Now how am I supposed to do an
essay about something I didn’t even pay attention to?’
‘Don’t blame me because you fell asleep! I’m only here to help you. Plus, I could have   been at Avery’s house.’ I said.
‘Oh, so now you’re saying I forced you to come here, as if being with me is so boring!’
‘I never said that,’ I laughed. Were we really fighting because if this? Was it really my
fault he didn’t watch the seminar? What a stupid reason to fight.
‘You didn’t need to say anything. I can feel it in your tone of voice.’ Lucas spat.
‘What’s your problem?’ I asked, not in a mean way but in a serious tone. ‘Why are
you acting this way?’
‘I have so many things going on right now. Coach is putting on so much pressure for
    us to win this season, so I’ve been training a lot and I’m not getting enough sleep, which makes me very tired and all I’m trying to is make you happy.’ He sat on a bench next to us. ‘I wanted to watch this seminar and do my essay, so I could get rid of this already and have time to hang out with you. Now I’m going to get a bad grade and I’ll have to do extra work to compensate for it and I won’t have time for you again.’ He breathed. ‘I just want everything to work out. I’m sorry I got mad at you, I just feel like I have to carry the world on my shoulders and it seems you want more than I can offer right now.’
I just looked at him, how could I not know about all this? How can I be so selfish? He
was doing his best and here I was, arguing with him! The seminar had been just after his football practice; of course he would be tired. I should have checked on him or something. I was feeling so guilty right now.
‘I’m so sorry Lucas, I know you are doing your best and I’m sorry for being so selfish lately.’ I took a deep breath. ‘I don’t want more than you can offer, what you give me is already enough.’
‘It’s okay, I’ve haven’t been the best boyfriend these days. I mean, look at this, fighting with you for such a stupid reason.’ Lucas gestured for me to sit next to him.
‘It really is a stupid reason, right?’ I sat next to him. ‘Lucas, you’re being a wonderful boyfriend. I’m the one who has been selfish. Let me make it up to you. I’ll do your essay.’ When I said that, Lucas smiled. 
‘I watched the whole seminar and took notes, I’ll do it tonight, print it and give it to you tomorrow morning okay?’ I said.
‘No, I can’t do this to you. It’s my responsibility.’ Lucas said. 
‘I want to do this for you, Lucas.’ I said.
‘Okay then, thank you princess.’ Lucas leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips.