Limbo

you didn't mean to say i love you

[explicit content - swearing]

"Everyone's ready?" Chris said when we picked up everyone.

"Yeah, let's go," Sam said with smile on his face. They all had a good mood. They weren't stressing as much as I did. I didn't want to ruin their mood so I put my headphones on and I immediately fell asleep. I woke up just one hour before the city she supposed to be in.

"What if you won't find her?" Drew asked.

"We'll go home," I said quietly.

"I'm so sorry sweetie," Margo said and kissed my hand.

When we got to the city Chris parked his car on the little parking lot.

"We're gonna buy some food, put it in the car and we will try to look for her right away," Margo said.

Sam, Drew and Chris offered to look for her too. They were going together but I wanted to go alone.

I was in the middle of the city. There weren't many people in here. We were literally in the middle of nowhere. I turned around the corner and I saw a girl in a black hoodie sitting on a bench. I was sure it was her.

"B-Baby?" I said to the girl who was sitting on a bench and reading a newspaper.

"What are you doing here?" she asked when she stood up, but she wasn't surprised the way as I expected. She looked angry.

"I was looking for you everywhere so I decid-"

She stepped back from me "No," she said quietly.

"What?"

"I want to be alone right now."

"What?" I said once again.

"I'm not going home with you Grace."

"Are you insane?"

"I wanted to visit this town, I wanted to give my mum flowers and I'm not going to that stupid city anytime soon. I want to enjoy some peace here. Please go home. I'll find my way to get back," she said coldly and she looked at the newspaper again.

"Are you for real right now? You left in the middle of the night not telling me shit, not picking up your phone, you're in another state and when I finally find you, you tell me to go home without you? I was going insane thinking something happened to y-"

"Fuck off Grace, just go fucking away I don't want this right now," she said this slowly and precisely. Just like in Malibu.

My heart broke into pieces. She never told me words like that.

I didn't have enough energy arguing with her after this. I was just looking at her.

"Are you deaf?"

"Ky-"

"Fuck. Off." she said even more slower.

"You should take it back right now. This isn't fair. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"No."

"You didn't mean to say i love you 2 days ago right?" I started crying more and more with every word I said.

"I love you but I don't want to anymore."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"You know what? The difference between me and you is that I would always get back to you, I would chose you over everyone. You're always my number one. You're the only thing I was ever sure of. And I would always wait for you to come back to me. I would let you go here, I would support you if you told me you need to do this alone. We're together in this. But you just made me scared and afraid and you promised you won't do that ever again. You promised. You wouldn't choose me. I'm not you first choice. No matter what I do. And that hurts but I get it."

"We will talk about this at home," she turned around but I grabbed her hand.

"How you can be like that?"

"You hate me already Grace. I hurt you too much already. So many times. It was nice to see you again. Drive safe," she mumbled something after this too, but I couldn't hear her anymore.

She left. And I let her go.

Again.

"Grace?" I could hear Chris's voice in the distance. I was sitting on the ground at this point.

I didn't respond.

"Where is she?"

"She just left," I pointed my finger at her direction. I could still see her in the distance. Chris started running after her.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Were going home," I stood up and I started walking back where Chris parked his car.

Chris get back after 20 minutes with letter in his hand.

"She's sending you this. You should opened it," he handed me the piece of paper.

I started shaking when I saw that. I wasn't able to move. It's like a bad dream.

Is this limbo again?