Fall Part 1: Let Him Go

I'm Sorry

"I just wanna say I'm sorry. I'm a jerk. You're not annoying, I take it back. I just can't handle not seeing you for a long period of time. I missed you dude, I really do."

His words kept playing in my mind for at least 10 minutes of time. Mrs. Peige is having our discussion and I can't even pay even a little attention. Can you blame me? I don't even know how to fix the mess we've done? I mean he made his part and I must made mine. But I don't even know where to start.

I was about to figure when someone enters the door, "Sorry I'm late." Oh my God, what the hell is he doing here.

"You're late, for the second period of class? I will tolerate you this time Mr. Anderson. Now, find your sit." Mrs. Peige said in replied. And guess what? Vacant seat is seating next to me.

Do you know that feeling seeing your ex-boyfriend making out with his newbie. Awkward. That is what I am feeling right now.

I keep myself busy and try to listen to Mrs. Peige but look what I've got here. He is starting this freaking conversation again.

"Hey Lancaster. Dude, can you hear me? Off course you can. You know what I've been through just to see you here?." since when can this guy stop talking?

"I don't wanna get a detention slip so better shut your mouth."

I throw him a piece of paper. "Since when did you become a deaf?" he is really pissing me off.

"Since the day you told me I'm annoying."

Well, if he wanted to pissed me off. I can do the same.

"I told you I'm sorry already, right? Isn't that enough. What do you want me to do?" well you wanna know?

"Shut your mouth."

After that he stopped bothering me in the class. The bell rang, that means torture is gone. We said our goodbyes and everyone went to their ways.

I walk out from the door when he blocked my way and closed the door.

"What's your problem?" I gave him a blank look. He hold my shoulders and pushed me hard on the wall.

"I spend my first period and I've been late for the second period, asking for the registrar for your schedules and changing mine. That was really hard." Not my fault. Did I even asked him to do that? I keep the silence.

"Now tell me, what is your problem Lancaster? You can't just hate me for that stupid accusation. We were having fun once and I don't know what had just happen?"

"You are stupid for accusing me. That's what happen. Yeah, it's no big deal for you but it was for me. You, of all people should know that." well I guess I should break my silence. "Every night, I kept asking myself, what part of me that annoys you. Everytime, I asked Grandma, if I am too loud just because you told me so. And I hate you because of that."

All of a sudden, I can feel his body into me, he was hugging me, pouring his head on my neck and I can feel the tears as I got wet.

"Please stop this dude, I relly need to go." I pushed him hard and started walking away before he was tears pouring down my cheeks. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and and cornered me with his hug. Shit, I can't breathe. I was stunned by the moment he wrapped his arms to mine.

"Please, don't run away again Lancaster." his words.

"I'm sorry dude. Please." Oh God, how can I resist this guy?

"I'm sorry." I hugged him back. I can't help myself anymore. I buried my face to his shirt. "God knows how hard it is to hold myself from running into you. God know how mych I missed you."

"My life sucks without you. And I can't help myself thinking I might lose you again. I promise I would never let anything come between our friendship, ever again." he slowly pulled away from me and out of nowhere he pressed his head to mine and gently hold my face with his hands. Why am I feeling this sensation? I can hear the fast beating of my heart. Maybe because I am happy? I don't know, but right now, what matters is that, we are back on track and I am beyond happy with that.

We smiled and he hugged me again. "God knows how much I missed you." Why do I feel butterflies in my stomach?

"One more thing, how did you know?" I cannot still fight the urge to ask him. Maybe I was born to ask too many questions.

"Not now Lancaster, you might get hurt." his words again. I think it was his sick joke so I pretend to scared telling him just to keep it by himself cause I don't want to get hurt.

I hope it will be the last. I never thought it never was.