Fall Part 1: Let Him Go

Goodbye

I am on my way to the soccer field. And James was waving for. I was walking towards him when I noticed something. He was not alone, he was with someone, he was with Vanessa.

"Hey dude, what took you so long?" that attitude again. "Not my fault you're practice is so early. Besides, I didn't know you were with Vanessa." I whisper.
Their practice was already starting. Vanessa is busy taking a picture of James while he was playing. I can't take this for a long period of time. Is one shot not enough?

I was getting board when James drag me in the field. "Hey, what was this all about?" I know what he's thinking already. "You're going to play since we are lacking for any member and you don't have a choice." he smirked. He was giving the look of 'Game?' "Do I even have a choice?" that means I was in the game. 

I was about to kick the ball and make a goal when James blocks my way. I lose control of the ball and I was out balance causing me and James to fell in the ground. The beating of my heart. We did not just fell, we kissed. We accidentally kissed. Brace yourself Chanel. It takes minute before he stood and offer his hands. "Thanks" I took his hand for me to stand. And I regret doing it.

"Hey bitch, are you trying to steal my boyfriend?" she came to us and slapped my precious face.

"Babe, stop it, it was an accident."

"Accident? She did it intentionally. You know what, you can't take him away from me. You are just a friend newbie, and I am his girlfriend. And look at yourself, you're nothing compared to me." she plucked my hair and it really hurts not only physically, it hurts emotionally.

"Stop it, Vanessa" he is trying to stop her.

"Shut up James, she deserves this" 

"Get away from me bitch" I pushed her as hard as I can. "You don't have the right to alter those words to me. Yes, I am just his friend, so why bother getting jealous if he kissed me, at the end of the day, you are still his princess anyway." I'm trying to piss her off.

"How dare you?" she was going to slap me when I slapped her first. "Don't you dare touch my precious face agian, or you'll regret it." I get my bike and went to home.

I went straight to my room and fix myself. That stupid moron, why does James likes her anyway? 

I went downstairs to have some food when my grandma noticed a bruise in my face.

"What happened to you Channel? Have you gotten into fight?" she hold my face.

"Grandma, I just ran into a pole" I always lie to her and I'm used to it.

"Interesting pole" with that I know that she did not believe me.

I went back to my room to have some rest when James called me.

"What?" the first time I got nervous. I suddenly remember what happened a while ago.

"About what happened-" I cut him off, "It's fine, I don't even bother what happened a while ago. It was just a kiss dude" I outran his idea. I can suddenly feel the awkwardness between us. Please let it pass James. 

"Sorry Chanel" He got me there, he always calls me dude cause he hates calling me Chanel and now he was adressing me by my name.  He hung up and that's the end of our conversation.

He kissed me, accidentally. Wake up Chanel, you are over reacting. He has a girlfriend and he is your best friend. Nothing more. Before I sleep, I silently whisper to myself. "Stop beating stupid heart."

After what happened, I never had the chance to see James, he never text or call me either. We were seatmates, but it felt like I don't exist. He becomes silent during our class discussion. I tried to talk to him but Vanessa will always come to the picture. 

Until one Friday morning, "Hey dude, wanna play in the arcade? It Friday right?" I got the chance to talk to him while he was walking in the corridor. "Sorry, I can't" and just like that. 

I texted him asking if I can watch their practice but he told me not to cause he was  with her. 

One day, I was walking in the corridor and I saw him walking in my direction. "Hey dude-" but instead of teasing me like we used to be, it was like I was not even there.

It is couple of days since the last time we talked. What happened James? What happened to us?

"Are you okay Chanel? You look bothered?" I think it's time to tell Grandma, she might help me.

"James is acting weird lately. He acts like he don't know me at all." she told me to confront him before it's too late.

We will be having our long quiz in history this day and I was surprised to find out that James failed the quiz for the first time. 

"Dude we need to talk" I drag him outside and brought him to our hide out. "What is happening to you dude?"

"Nothing" really Anderson? You really changed.

"Nothing? You failed for the first time dude and that's nothing. You never talked to me and you couldn't even go with me in the arcade. I called and texted you for a million times but you never answered, not at once. It felt like I don't even exist to your world anymore." I sighed, I'm holding back the tears from my eyes.

"What is it to you anyway?" I can't believe you James.

"What is it to me? I am just your damned best friend but I don't feel like I am anymore. Am I still your best friend James?" hold your tears Chanel.

"I'm calling it quits Chanel" what? 

"No James, you can't do it, you promised right?" I single tear fell from my eyes. 

"Chanel please, don't make this hard for me. I don't want you to get hurt." I don't believe him. Tell me you're just lying James. 

"Why?" all I can say by that time.

"Chanel please-" 

"No James, just tell me why. Don't left me hanging again."

"You know why I am not going to arcade with you, why I don't answer your calls and not even text you back, why I always ignore you. I am tired of you Chanel and you know what, I don't even know why you become my best friend. So don't even bother to come near me." now I can't control my tears anymore. I slapped him hard to his face. But it was like nothing happened to him. He is still wearing his emotionless face.

"You should've told me. I look like a fool following you everyday and I waste my time and money trying to reach you. And I'm sorry, If I am too boring and I'm not enough cause I thought I am. Becoming your best friend is not my choice Anderson, it was your choice. Don't worry, I won't bother you anymore. Thank you for giving me light and I think you're taking it back. Goodbye Anderson." 

"Are you done?" that hurts even more. He walked away, away from me. It was like my nightmare. I wanna follow him but I was stuck to where I am. I want to call out for his name but I can't even say a word. It felt like  I'm drowning but he was not there to save me anymore. 

Why did you do this to me dude? You promised right? Can't you remember our promises? Do you remember how did we build this friendship together? Can't you remember how it all started.

"Chanel, are you okay?" she entered to my room.

"It hurts Grandma." she hugged me tightly. 

"Just let your tears to fall and let yourself to feel the pain. Remember how your friendship starts and how it ends. And after that, let go of your memories and let the time fix your heart."

How does it all started?