Fall Part 1: Let Him Go

Painful Reality

Summer didn't end up as what it should be. After I have known that James was Robert, I always try my best to be out of his way.

"Hey dude? Can we go to arcade after class? I miss going there and--"

"Sorry I can't. I got a lot things to do and besides it's Monday, maybe next time." I welked away, as fast as I can. Sorry dude, I'm still figuring out what to do.

One time, I am walking in the corridor when he came to my side and offer that we go inside together but I told him to go first cause I need to go to ladies bathroom.

"Hey, what's your problem?" this is bothering him. He asked me while Mrs. Peige is writing something.

"Nothing." I answered him with a stern look.

"No, I will not take that nothing. I know you are to something." he is sometimes a hard headed guy. I swear we are goingbhave detention if we won't stop so I decided to ignored him.

The bell rang and we are dismissed. I hurriedly took my things as fast as I can but odd is never in my favor.

"Dude what's wrong? Tell me." he followed me.

"I told you it was nothing." I walked again and this time he lift me up and walk in the corridor. Shoot, people are staring at us.

"Dude put me down." I hit his back but he just told me to shut up. This is so embarassing. We ended up in our hide out place.

"What the hell did you just do? Are you even thinking straight. Jesus." I scolded him.

"You were the one who is not thinking straight. You declined all my offers, you walked in another ways and you skip going with me to school, and recently, you just ignored me and now you are angry with me? Now tell me, are you thinking straight?" WOW, I swallowed hardly. Say something Chanel.

"Talk to me, is this all about that kiss?" Holy, what is he thinking? Kiss?

"It has nothing to do with a kiss dude. It is nothing to me. I know you are under influenced of that beer. It's no big deal." It's nothing, right? I walked away from him again wishing he would let me go. 

"But why do I feel like you're pushing me away?" I can feel sadness on his tone. I stopped, I hope I could tell you James, but  if you know, you''ll leave me and I am not ready to let you go.

"Just leave me alone for now. I just figure out that we always spend time together and don't even think of other possibilities without any of us. We should also spend time away from each other." I hope he would buy it.

"Is that what you really want, distance?" I am hurting him now like what you have done 10 years from now.

"Y--es" I cannot even speak fluently. I am holding my tears.

"If that's what you want then, your wish is my command." he left, I turn back, he was running away, I want to stop him but I can't speak. I'm sorry James. I'm sorry Robert.

_______________________________________

On the other day, news spread rapidly on our school about the new girl whose name is Vanessa. She was a transferee. But just one day and she got friends by her side and became popular and hot, maybe because of her fashion. Boys are looking to her as she walk through the crowd. I don't care, but not until I saw James talking to her. I feel pain. Irritated. Pissed. I walk fast and went to the room.

James went inside as well, wearing a smile. We were not talking for how many days now, he made my wish granted. He never talked to me, never walked with me, he nevel looked at me. Is that what distance means? 

I went home alone that night. I don't used to it and I can still feel the goosebumps as I walked in the silent streets. Sometimes, I felt someone following me, that times I walked fast. I'm just getting paranoid maybe.

I was about to reach our streets when a man went near me. SHOOT, not now.

"Hey beautiful, wanna have fun tonight?" he was drunk. I definitely got scared. I pushed him away.

"Sorry, but I have to go." I left him and walked fast but he grabbed my arms.

"Come on, I'll make you happy." he dragged me. 

"Let go of me." I shouted and just a seconds I saw the man on the ground holding his nose that is bleeding.

"She told you to let her go man. Now leave this girl or I'll bring you to hell." the man ran from his death. Phew! That one is close. I looked to the boy who just save me. Oh My God.

"James? What are you doing here?" he was the one whose following. I find myself smiling.

"Trying to save your ass dude, Let's go. I'll take you home." he dragged me. How can I let go this man?

"I see you talking to Vanessa this morning. You like her?" what have gotten into Chanel?

"Well, she's amazing and she's hot, she's perfect." I suddenly feel numb. I never heard him looking a girl like that. I feel pain.

"James" I catch his attention. Before I got inside.

"What?" he stoppefd and we are facing each other now.

"If I didn't wish that you should give ne distance, will you never consider her perfect?" I wanna told him but I didn't.

"I have another wish." I smiled nervously. I can looked at me straight in the eye.

"I wanna break the distance. Maybe it's time for closure." he hugged me. What just happened? I wanna break the distance, but not this close.

"Hey dude I can't breathe."I whispered at him softly. We burst into laughters.

"I just damn missed you dude." really? You do?

"So I'm gonna fetch you tomorrow okay? Don't be late." he then kissed me on my face and go away.

He kissed me again. Does he use to it?

"Goodnight." I whispered. I hold my face and smile. God, don't take this away from me, Please.

I went to my room. I am still staring at the ceiling when he calls.

"Hey. What's the matter?" I said with joy.

"I just call to bid you goodnight. I forgot. I love you dude, see you in my dreams." What? I am gonna die right now.

"Okay goodnight." he hang up. Did he just say I love you?

I then realize something. Don't take it too much Chanel. He is still Robert. You've hurt him, you left him empty and he hates you, he would never forgive you, and he would never love you. He just doesn't know.

That's the painful reality.