Walking Away

So it's mutual?

Johnathan

Where are you?

Mark was blowing up my phone, demanding answers. I typed up a response before setting the phone back down, leaning back in my chair.

Library. Have to catch up on homework. Fill you in later.

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't completely honest. I did have homework to do. It just didn't take longer than 5 minutes.

Honestly? I was avoiding Raven. After the whole scene at her house on Wednesday, I was dreading the questions. After editing her essay, I went to find Ali just to find her talking to Raven.

'Sometimes Jonah gets hurt, but you can't tell anyone. He doesn't even let me see.' Ali had said. We had left pretty quickly after that. I'd used dinner as an excuse, not giving Raven a chance to voice all the questions in her eyes. God knows what else she said.

It killed me that Ali knew so much, but her telling Raven worried me. There are only two people in the world who understand how long my life has been the way it is, and I'm hoping to keep it that way.

"Hey." I flinched, turning to see Kenny sliding into the chair next to me.

Speak of the devil. I turned back to my math homework, double checking each problem. "Hi."

"I brought lunch?" Kenny offered up a bag of chips. 

"No thank you." I didn't look at him. I knew what I'd see.

"So this is how it is now?" He sounded hurt.

"Yes." I kept it simple. Less is more.

"No." He refused. "No. I didn't do anything to deserve this. Stop it."

"You did plenty and you know it." I sounded angry.

I wish I was angry. Anger would be so much easier.

"Jonah, just listen for one stupid minute!" Kenny lowered his voice. "Kate told me that Ali was the first kid in class yesterday. And I know she was already there when I dropped Kate off today."

"So?" She was allowed to be a little early. Or even a lot early. It's none of his business.

"So you never drop Ali off earlier than ten minutes before the bell. Not thirty. Not twenty-five. You've had the same routine since she started preschool, but you change it up now? Something isn't right with you."

I tried to block him out. He doesn't get to ask questions anymore.

"You shut me out for months, Jonah. Months. Then I come back and you're only talking to Mark, you dropped your art class, and you're different. You've always been reserved, but this is a new level." I ignored him. "You know what I think?"

I gave up on math, tipping my head back. "Don't know, don't care."

It didn't deter him. I didn't expect it to.

"I think she found out about the fight. And I think she got mad. I think she crossed a line, and I think it scared you. You, the unshakable Jonah Lynd, are scared." Kenny kept his voice low, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease. Someone might hear him.

I studied the ceiling. It's a pretty good ceiling.

"Jonah, what's going on?" 

Something, very small and very important, snapped, and I let the chair fall to all fours.

"Why do you even care?" I asked, turning his way. "You got kicked out, you left home, you didn't answer your phone. You come back and Mark's all over it, but he doesn't know, does he? He doesn't know what she's like. Not really."