Walking Away

Accident

Raven

Kenny drove fast, pulling into the parking space with less caution than I would have preferred. But none of that mattered - Johnathan was here. In the hospital.

We walked up to the front desk together, waiting impatiently for the line to clear. Well, I was impatient. Kenny was stressed.

Apparently there's a difference.

I kept snapping my fingers together, humming to myself. I couldn't afford to panic, but I had to move. There was too much energy just waiting to be released, pushing at me to pace, yell, talk, jump. To do something.

Kenny gave them Johnathan's name and took the paperwork. "You'll be able to see him shortly." The lady told us.

"Wait, is he okay? What's happening? How bad is he? Do you know what room he's in? Why can't we see him now?" I stood there until she looked at me, needing an answer.

"You'll know more as soon as we do." She told me.

What does that mean? Aren't they the professionals? Shouldn't they know what's wrong with him?

"Thank you." Kenny responded when I didn't, pulling me to a seat. "Sit. Breathe. He's going to be okay."

He focused on the paperwork, filling in all the blanks.

Which left me with nothing to do but think. Johnathan is hurt.

It could be bad. What if he's in surgery? What if... I flinched. What if he didn't make it? Isn't there, like, a fifty percent chance he's going to bleed out during the procedure? And then there was always a chance he wouldn't wake up if they put him to sleep. I think mom said it's a pretty small chance, but it's still a chance. Add those chances together and it's more likely he's going to die than live.

Then everyone really would leave me. Then he would really leave me. He would be gone.

Johnathan would be gone.

Pain and fear built up inside of me until I could barely breathe. Pressure built up in my chest, and I closed my eyes for a second to try and escape it.

"Okay, I think I covered everything." Kenny finally looked up. "Raven? Raven, stop. Stop. Look at me."

I tried. But my mind was somewhere else. I wasn't at the hospital anymore.

No, I was standing on my front porch, watching a car drive away.

I was sitting on the swing set, watching the other kids run away.

I was alone in my old house, watching my dad walk away.

"Raven. Raven!" Kenny shook my shoulders. "Come on."

"What?" I let him pull me up.

"We're going to get answers. Now." Kenny led me to where a doctor was talking to some patients.

"Hello, sir?" Kenny waited until the doctor turned around. "We need to find someone."

"Raven?" The man asked. I flinched. "Sorry, my bad. I just meant... well, are you Emily Maralins daughter?"

I nodded. "Yes. Yes, that's me."

The doctor smiled. "She talks a lot about you. She brags all the time."

He shook Kenny's hand. "My name is Dr. Kalne. Who was it you needed to find?"

"Johnathan Lynd." Kenny answered. "He was in a car accident."

"I'll see what I can do." Dr. Kalne told us. He disappeared behind the doors. I wonder what else is behind those doors.

"Raven? Still with me?" Kenny checked.

I nodded slowly. "Kenny, what if..." I couldn't.

"He's hurt?" he finished. "He'll be okay."

"He has to be." Kenny added quietly.

Soon Dr. Kalne was back, leading us to one of many hospital rooms. He was talking, but I didn't catch any of it. I think Kenny did, though, because he seemed to relax.

I caught my breath at the sight of Johnathan sitting on a hospital bed. He wasn't wearing a gown, so he hadn't been here long. Or he had talked someone out of it. That would be like Johnathan.

Kenny went to him, but I stayed in the doorway. I was frozen in place.

"Jonah." The relief in his voice was palpable.

"Hey." Johnathan let Kenny hug him. "Still alive, nothing broken. Maybe a slight concussion."

"What happened?" Kenny asked. "Mark didn't have time for the details."

Johnathan groaned. "It was stupid. You know how they had to have a separate car? Well, it turns out Mark's older cousin can't drive all that well. Mark and Sam were in Mark's, and we were following. Then the idiot ran a red light, and someone hit us at an angle."

Johnathan shook his head. "It's fine, no one got seriously hurt. Bruises, mostly. Mark's cousin has a broken arm and a light concussion. How's Ali?"

"Ali's good. Sleeping, when I left her with Mark." Kenny seemed to be lighter, back to himself now that he had proof his friend was okay. "I need coffee. You want coffee?"

Johnathan nodded, smiling slightly as his friend walked out. He leaned against the wall next to him.

"Are you planning on standing there all day?" He asked me. It was a lightly teasing tone.

The words sounded familiar, and I realized that's the first thing I'd ever said to him, in the office.

I was so mean to him that day.

I slowly walked in to the room, my footsteps soft. "Hey. How are you?"

"I'm not dead." He joked. Johnathan glanced at me and sat up straighter, suddenly looking alarmed. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not.." I raised a hand to my cheek and felt the tears. "Oh."

Johnathan waited for an answer with a concerned expression. It made me laugh. "You shouldn't be worrying about me. You're the one who got hurt."

Johnathan smiled, reaching out to pull me closer. "I'm okay. You didn't have to come check on me."

"Yes, I did." I whispered. I couldn't get over how close he was. How much better the world felt now that he was.

Of course he noticed. Johnathan wiped more tears off, grabbing my hand. "Will you sit with me?"

I nodded, carefully sitting down next to him on the hospital bed. After a second he put an arm around me, pulling me closer. I leaned on him, unable to stop the tears.

"I don't even know why I'm crying." I admitted. I could see that he was here. But my brain still rattled around with the 'what-ifs'.

"It's okay." he told me.

I focused on his voice, on the fact that I could hear his heartbeat. It was actually beating a little fast.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked, trying to sit up. He stopped me.

"No. Sort of the opposite, actually."

For once, I didn't question it. I just leaned against him until the tears stopped, and he was cleared to leave.

I was still a little off when I got home later that night, lying in bed listening to an audio book. My phone dinged with a text.

J: See you at school tomorrow?

I grinned, feeling very light all of a sudden.

See you then.