Walking Away

Ten Year Old Hell

Johnathan

The door was unlocked when I got there, meaning Ali was already home. I made sure to lock it once I was inside. No need for mom to know.

"Jonah?" Ali's voice came from the kitchen, so I went that way.

"Yeah, it's me." I dropped my bag in the doorway. "How was school?"

Ali is sitting at the table with a jar of peanut butter. "Fine. We got a class pet."

I grabbed an apple. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. A hamster." She ate another spoonful. "Mrs. Yoll let the class name him Howard."

A hamster named Howard. That's... it wouldn't be my first choice. Or my tenth. "That's an interesting name."

Ali frowned. "It's a stupid name. I was out-voted." She stabbed her peanut butter. Or forcefully poked. Can you stab with a spoon?

I didn't say anything, just let her murder the peanut butter in peace. Ali always eventually told me what she was thinking – she just needed time to figure out what that was.

"Did you like fifth grade?" She asked it while making eye contact with the peanut butter, but after a few moments of silence she glanced up, looking for an answer.

"Fifth grade was okay." I told her. "Do you like fifth grade?"

She shook her head. "Not really." Her voice got quieter. "Everyone knows mom didn't want to meet the teacher. Mrs. Yoll called her during reading time, but she didn't answer. And all the kids heard her ask about it." She jabbed her peanut butter again. "She asked really loud, and she said 'I've been calling so much, maybe you could ask her to come down'. And now it's all they talk about. The kid that the teacher feels bad for."

I didn't think it would be this bad. I knew that mom didn't go to orientation, but dodging phone calls is new. And I also didn't know that fifth graders were so judgmental. I guess that's what happens when you believe in the innocence of elementary schoolers.

I sat down next to her at the table, tapping my fingers. "It'll be okay." She nodded half-heartedly. I grabbed the peanut butter, sliding it away from her.

"Hey!" she reached out for it. "Give that back."

I smiled, but waited until she looked at me. "Do you know what made fifth grade okay?" She shook her head. "I had a friend."

I watched her work it out. "Mark?"

I sort of laughed. "Yeah. Mark." She nodded.

"So," she started, and stopped. "if you hadn't had Mark?"

I slid the peanut butter back to her. "It would have been not so okay." I thought about it. "Actually, scratch that. It would've been ten year old hell."

Ali laughed, covering her ears. "Jonah! You can't say that!"

She was right, but she was also giggling. I pretended to be confused. "What? Why not? It's true."

She shook her head. "You still can't say it." She was still laughing, so I counted it as a win.

"Ali-May." I used my nickname, the one we've used forever. "Do you have a friend at school?"

Her peanut butter got interesting again. "No." She shrugged. "They didn't like me last year. They don't like me this year." She sounded so matter-of-fact and it killed me. How could anyone not like her?

"Well, then let's get you into a new class." I told her. And then laughed at the look of pure shock on her face.

"You can do that?" she asked. I shrugged.

"I can try." And I would. I would go up to the office before school tomorrow, and I would fix it. Or try to, at least.

"Thank you, Jonah." She hugged me from her seat, and I held her close to me while I could. And then pulled back as I heard the car pulling in the driveway. One look at Ali told me that she heard it too.

"She'll be mad about the peanut butter." she whispered.

"Then take it with you." I whispered back. She grabbed the jar and the spoon and bolted to her room, safely making it before the front door opened.

I stood up and turned on the stove, getting out the ingredients for dinner. "Mom? Is that you?" I called out.

She walked in and surveyed the room, frowning at the half-eaten apple on the counter. "That's unsanitary."

I nodded, picking it up and tossing it in the trash. "How was work?"

"Good. Is your sister home yet?"

"She's doing homework in her room. Dinner will be ready in an hour." I told her.

She nodded and went towards her own room, and I grabbed another apple.

Unsanitary was fine by me.