I woke up to my phone buzzing on the counter beside my bed. I reach over to click decline but i see it's Dream, my best friend.
"Hello?" I murmur into the phone. My morning voice scratchy. Dream chuckles.
"What do you want Dream?" i hear him let out a small wheeze on the other side of the phone but he stays quiet.
"Dream?" i say a bit confused. nothing on the other side but white noise.
"Clay! Stop messing around! You woke me up!" i yell at him. i hear a giant wheeze and some laughing. I forget that Sapnap is at his house.
"Clay?! Did you really just say that?" Dream says in between wheezes. i hear sapnap in the back laughing as well.
"What do you want?" i bark at them with a small smile in my voice.
"We have to make a video! We were talking about it yesterday and I told you I was going to wake you up." I try to remember yesterday, we were on discord while I was half asleep.
"i was just saying okay to everything you said, i wasn't actually listening." I groan. Dream chuckles.
"Well hurry up, we're filming in half an hour so get ready!" I hear Sapnap say. I reply okay and hang up to get ready. I walk to my kitchen and put some bread in the toaster. As i'm waiting for my toast i go into the bathroom. I look extremely tired. I havent even checked the time yet but he assumed it was pretty late. i went back to my room and picked up my phone.
dreamnotfound (+ sapnap)
sapnap🤠
15 more minutes gogy😼😼
the groupchat name makes me laugh every time i see it. sapnap made the first part and dream added the second part. the whole dreamnotfound meme doesn't affect me or dream. we both are cool with our sexualities and both don't really see it as anything more. he's my best friend, nothing more.
i set my phone back down and realize i never even checked the time. it's 3:15. wow i slept late. when sapnap moved in with dream, dream stopped syncing our sleep schedules. it didn't matter to me that much but i started getting my schedule more messed up. i hear my toast pop up and go and eat it while scrolling through twitter.
once it's 3:25ish i go into my room and start up minecraft. i text the boys that i'm ready and that i have minecraft up and running.
pissbaby
join our vc then dumbass
i join the discord and we start to play. it's a manhunt video where sapnap and i are hunting dream. the game goes on and there's one point where i am so close to dream.
"GET OVER HERE DREEEEAAAM!!" i scream. his green blob runs over to me and gets one hit. my health bar goes down 4 hits.
"WHAT THE HELL HOW IS IT THAT MUCH DAMAGE!!" i screech. i hear nothing from dream.
"GEORGE TURN AROUND!" sapnap screams into the mic. my character turns around and the green blob that i saw just two seconds ago in front of me, is behind me. he hits me again and i'm at 1 1/2 hearts.
"SAPNAP ARE YOU NOT GOING TO HELP?!" i scream at him.
he doesn't say anything but his character runs up to me as i'm sprinting away. he hits me with his axe as a joke but the "you died" screen pops up.
"WHAT THE HELL SAPNAP!!!!" i rage. sapnap is laughing and dream is wheezing. in between laughs sapnap says,
"i.. didn't think... you were that low!"
"WELL I WAS OBVIOUSLY" i respawn near where i died, we had placed our beds there. luckily.
i sprint over to where i died to find none of my stuff.
"where is my stuff?" i say finally more calm. i hear another wheeze from dream. that's one of the things i love about him, he finds humor in small tiny things he does and his wheeze is just to lightening.
"i burnt it." he wheezes out.
"i hate you dream, this is why i don't tell you i love you." everyone goes silent. dreams laughing stops.
"i'm joking dream, sorry that was too far." i say cheeks red of embarrassment.
"it's fine i'll just cut it out." he murmurs. we get back into the game and dream sadly beats the game right after killing me for the millionth time.
"AHAHA IM SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU GUYS!" he screams.
"george you're so bad." sapnap says. he didn't really help the whole game, he was always off collecting supplies or watching me die. i don't know why but it felt like he was mad at me or something. it couldn't have been about my comment about dream because he was acting weird before that.
"shut up sapnap you didn't even help." i pout.
"you died like a trillion times!" he argues, i hear the playfulness in his voice. maybe he's not acting weird, i'm probably just overthinking it. i check the time as dream is talking to sapnap about getting something to eat. it's already 6:30, we had been playing for a really long time. to be fair we were all just mining at the start not fighting eachother. i'm not exactly paying attention.
"no yeah george you're such a disappointment." i hear sapnap say out of nowhere. i had no context in the conversation and i couldn't tell if he was joking.
"okay i'm gonna go, bye." i say as i'm about to click the disconnect button.
"wait george-" i hear dream say. i go lay on my bed and just close my eyes. the silence throughout my house is interrupted by a call. the ringtone is speedrun music, i changed the ringtone for dream. i decline the call, i know it was just a joke but is something going on in america that i don't know about? i turn on do not disturb. i go to spotify and click on "why'd you only call me when you're high?"
i fall deeper and deeper into relaxation. as i'm about to drift back to sleep my phone rings that same speedrun song. i pick up my phone and decline again annoyed that it went through. it's now 7:30 so i must've drifted off at some point earlier without noticing. i had 38 missed calls from dream and three from sapnap.
sapnap🤠
george i was joking, i didn't mean what i said, i hope you're not too offended by it. you know i love you and would never hurt you. please call me or text me back so i know you're okay.
i knew that it was a joke. i can take most of the jokes. but ever since sapnap moved in with dream everything has changed. and i think about it a lot. i just want to be with both of them. i want to hug my best friends.
pissbaby
george. answer my calls. i need to know you're okay.
a sense of embarrestmenr flushes over my entire body. i can't talk to him now, after completely ignoring him for an hour. i accidentally click on the message and i know that it will say read on his phone. i didn't mean to do that. i sit up and scrunch my legs to my chest.
pissbaby
george i'm not joking around. answer the goddamn phone.
i decide to actually respond.
is sapnap around?
i ask.
pissbaby
no. it's just me.
he calls me again. finally i pick up. i don't say anything though. i hear him breathe out.
"george." he says. i hear the worry and pain in his voice. i imagine him sitting on his bed crouched over on the side of his bed.
"dream... i know it was a joke, i overreacted i'm sorry."
"you're okay?" he mumbles. i nod forgetting that he can't see me.
"yeah." i say.
"fuck you." he hangs up. there was no sign of jokes in those words. they stung. lately i've been struggling with self love, my viewers want me to do a cooking stream but then they'll see my body and i don't know if i'm ready for that. i've been thinking about how all my friends must find me annoying by this point. i've also been thinking about taking a break. i haven't told any of my friends but i spend most of time sleeping. karl tries to check up on my me often but he's just like that. he doesn't suspect anything is wrong, he's not looking for it. i love all my friends so much but sometimes i just need a little alone time. i decide maybe i should stream for a little bit. not too long of course but the chat is always supportive and i know they'll keep me happy. i set up everything for the stream and pulled up minecraft.
"hey guys! hii!!" i just talk with the chat and answer a ton of questions for about an hour. it's basically a q&a because it's just me and the chat.
dono: where's dream or sapnap? btw love you:]
"oh um..." i stutter.
"it's just me tonight, i actually don't know what they're doing. um it's getting pretty late i think i'm going to end the stream soon. just a few more questions then ill end it." i say with a smile. a few more basic ones come in and then one hits me.
dono: gogy are you okay? you seem off.
i don't know what to say to that. i can't tell chat i'm not okay obviously but i'm horrible at lying straight through my teeth. the one about dream and sapnap wasn't exactly a lie, i didn't know what they were doing and i was alone so everything i said was truthful. i can see the chat blowing up with oh no's and sad faces. i still don't know what to say.
"don't worry everyone, just had a long day. i think i'm going to end here, bye guys!!" i say all my goodbyes and end the stream.
pissbaby
what's going on? i saw your stream.
ugh so many things i have to find a good response to. this is getting annoying.
