the next few days go by just like the others. sitting in my bed or at my computer. nothings getting better or worse, it's like everything's stuck in the same spot. it's like everyone's moving ahead and i can't move. dream invited someone new to the smp, her name is kacey. she's a very nice person from what i can tell. i haven't actually talked directly to her, i just watched a few of her streams.
pissbaby
hey kacey is streaming right now, you should join the vc : ]
i obviously joined and dream introduced me.
"kacey this is my boyfriend george.." i immediately blush, as i always do. i roll my eyes.
"i am not his boyfriend. but nice to meet you." i say as she is giggling. we continue to talk and laugh. about an hour of talking dream says something.
"wow you're really cute." i blush again and as i'm about to say something kacey giggles.
"thank you dream, i think you're pretty cute too." oh shit. he was talking to her. i felt uncomfortable.
"um i'm gonna leave you two alone." i say with a very forced laugh, hopefully they couldn't tell. i wasn't jealous of kacey. was i? no i couldn't be, what's there to be jealous about. it was just weird because i'm used to getting told that kind of stuff. i try and shake it off but i truly am jealous. dreams just a huge flirt.
~
dreamnotfound (+ sapnap)
sapnap
george are you jealous? 😳
george
no
dream
don't you even try calling me a simp guys.
sapnap
simp
george it's your turn to say simp.
~
i'm sitting with my legs crossed and my phone in between them. i don't want to be replaced. i won't be replaced right? i can feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. i haven't cried in forever, surely i can't be crying about this. as i'm fighting the tears i get a call from dream. luckily it's not a facetime. i click answer.
"hey georgie! so for our next manhunt do you think we could invite kacey? i think that'd be extremely fun!" he says. i hear the excitement and obvious care that he already has for this girl.
"uh... sure." i say. my voice is shaky. i hope he can't hear it. the back of my throat feels like it's closing up. he starts to ramble on about some cool tricks he found and how he's going to use them on kacey to impress her. i just give little "mhm"s every so often so he knows that i'm listening. dream has adhd and can talk for hours about certain things, i try to be as patient as i can with him. he says something about sapnap and soon enough theres sapnaps screams coming out of my phone. the tears are still sitting in my eyes threatening to drop at any moment.
"HEY GOGYYYY!!" he screams. i slightly smile but a tear drops when i do. i don't think i can even get out a word without my voice cracking.
"hey sapnap." i say. phew, no voice cracks. i wipe away the singular tear on my cheek. my eyes are still watering but hopefully i can get off this call sometime soon.
"georgieeee when's the next time you're streaming?" sapnap asks. ugh i have to give an actual answer.
"uh i don't know." i'm safe again.
"are you okay dude? you've been off the past week." sapnap says. i can hear the genuine concern in his voice.
"yea, i'm fine." my voice is high and scratchy and hints at the verge of tears. i cough and fake a small laugh.
"anyways guys, i have to go." i say. it's obvious that's something is wrong. i leave the call and look on twitter with tears still in my eyes. there's so many ships of dream and kacey. i feel a warm tear on my cheek. the others start to pour.
as i'm sitting there crying sapnap calls me. why do they call me so much? why do they have to care? it's a facetime. i answer but i have the phone facing up at my ceiling fan.
"george, what's going on?" he says. the concern in his voice is so big. i can't lie to him. my best friend. i face the phone up towards me. i set it up and squeeze my knees to my chest.
"he's gonna replace me." i say breaking down to the lowest of lows. my tears won't stop. i'm sobbing violently now.
"george... no he's not. oh my gosh george. he loves you, he's your best friend, he's our best friend. he'd never replace you. you can't be replaced." he says.
"no, he's going to love her. and forget about me." i say in between sobs.
"he can love more than one person, he loves you platonically, he can love her romantically. that's okay george." he says. it makes me think, romantically and platonically.
"you love him platonically, right sapnap?" i say quietly. he smiles and chuckles.
"yeah dude of course i do." his smile then goes away for a second and he looks at my sideways.
"george do you love him romantically? is that what this is." do i? no i'm just thinking about it, telling myself random things. reasons why i could be so upset about this. why i don't want him to love anyone else.
"no... i'm not in love with him or anything, he's my best friend." i say trying to push the thought from my head.
"he can be your bestfriend, even if you love him. do you? you can trust me georgie."
"no sapnap! i'm not in love with him!" i yell.
"you don't have to be in love with him! you can just have feelings for him, whether they're small or big! i'm not forcing this on you, but if you do like him, you can tell me. fuck, dream just got home, i have to go george. and don't worry, i won't tell him about this conversation. i love you, bye." he says and hangs up.
i lay down and think about what sapnap said. i don't like dream. it's fine, i'll just go to bed. nothing has to happen. everything's okay, everything's fine. i lay in my bed for hours trying to figure out what i'm feeling. i finally fell asleep sometime near 3am.
i woke up to a phone call and immediately sat up hoping it was dream. it was just a spam call. i laid back down then sat up again.
my first though was dream. fuck. no. it's just cause he was my best friend. it's nothing. i don't love him romantically. he's just a best friend. i fall back asleep.
