love you always

shopping

It was wednesday morning, and i was meeting cristina for coffee before we went shopping. Derek was at work, ella was at daycare. Today, i was a free woman.

"Mer!" cristina shouted at me whilst making her way over to the table i was sitting on, "oh i missed you, and i miss being called mer or meredith it's always mama" i laughed, she sat down next to me, "i can't believe i'm not using this day of for sleep" she groaned, obviously she hadn't left the hospital in 5 days, but that was just cristina. "Thank you for meeting me, all this wedding stuff is driving me crazy and i need a dress" i ranted, "well at least i can tell you what looks crap and what's acceptable, your taste isn't great" she commented sarcastically, "hey my taste is great thank you very much" i giggled.

After coffee we made our way to a bridal shop, honestly, i couldn't think of anything worse, i hated huge puffy dresses, i everyone staring and fussing over me. "Morning ladies, are you hear to try on dresses?" the receptionist asked, i nodded nervously "is your last name grey?" she asked, "uhuh" i nodded.

"So what is it that your looking for?" she smiled sweetly, "something simple, i don't want a huge dress, one that can't stand up on its own" i did not want to walk down an isle in a dress bigger than me, "something that shows of her boobs, something sexy" cristina joined in, i rolled my eyes, but she was sort of right, i wanted something derek would like, but not too revealing, obviously his family would be there.

The lady picked out what looked like 20 dresses and dragged me into a changing room, the first dress was plain silk, i looked like a door but cristina still make me show her, "nope" she dismissed it and i changed into the next. About an hour later i still had no luck, they were all too extravagant, too revealing or just hideous. I was getting ready to give up

"Okay this is the last one i'm trying on" i whined as i waddled back to the changing room, completely hopeless, "i think you'll like this one, it seems more you" the lady smiled, looking me up and down, she had said that before, she was very wrong. I turned around to look in the mirror. You know when people say they try something on and they 'just know' it's right, i never really believed in that, but they were kind of right. It was elegant, not too slutty but slightly revealing, it was lacy and not puffy, it was tight but not so much that i couldn't breathe. It was gorgeous, i walked out to show cristina who had also given up, she was half asleep.

She slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to the light, "get that one you look hot" she smiled, she wasn't exactly an emotional gushy person, so that answer was good enough.

After we sent the dress to be altered to fit perfect, we went to the mall and shopped for hours.

"Hi baby" i walked into the house putting down my bag and taking off my coat, "mama" she clapped her hands and stood up, trying to walk to me, she stumbled a couple times and started to actually walk, "derek! derek! she's waking!" i shouted and he ran into the room, ella giggled at all the screaming, she got all the way to my leg and i picked her up and swung her around. "My baby girl can walk" i almost cried, derek walked over and kissed me "our little girl is growing up" he kissed her head, as proud as i was, i was also slightly sad that she was not going to be young forever. "Mer are you okay?" derek asked concerned, "just tired" i nodded.

Once we had put ella to bed derek ran a bath, my legs ached from walking around all day, so i was great full to have such a caring soon to be husband. We climbed into the bath, i rested my head on his chest and he massaged my shoulders, "mmhhh that feels good" i moaned, "did you find a dress" he asked, obviously enjoying the noises i was making, "i guess you'll have to wait and see" i teased. "Derek" i whispered, "yes" he whispered back, "i think i should go off the pill" i suggested nervously, "you want to start trying again?" he kissed my neck, "no, let's not try, let's just stop trying not too, and we'll see where it goes" i replied. I couldn't see his face but i knew he was smiling.

"Do you think you're pregnant?" he asked panting, "it doesn't work that fast, and i probably won't get pregnant, at least not soon" i laughed, "mer?" he asked, trying to get me to talk, "will you still want to be with me if i can't get pregnant again?" i asked, worried that he wanted this more than anything, he pulled me onto him and kissed me, "meredith i will love you no matter what, i know you worry about getting pregnant, but you shouldn't, i love you, and i want to marry you that's not going to change" he told me reassuringly, "the fact you think i would leave you..." he added on, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to imply that you would i just..." "you were worried, i get that, don't apologise, but i wish you knew how much i loved you" he ran his hands through my hair, "i love you more than anything too, and ella" i whispered, "me too" he replied as we drifted off.

I woke up to crying, i looked over to see derek who was still fast asleep. I walked into the nursery and picked ella up, i tried feeding her, i changed her i cuddled her but she wouldn't stop, she seemed so uncomfortable. She had started teething a few months ago so she probably just had another tooth coming through, i sat on the rocking chair in the nursery, pulled a blanket over us and cuddled her as she fell asleep. I didn't want to wake her again so i decided to just stay there, "what are you doing awake, is everything okay?" derek walked into the room, "she's fine she's just teething" i whispered. I stood up and he lifted her to put her back down, but she fussed, "let's just let her sleep with us" i picked her up and walked to our room, "mer if she gets attached...", "she won't" i interrupted.

I got into bed, she was still laying on top of my chest, her head in the crook of my neck, derek climbed in next to us and ran circles on her back, we all drifted off quickly.

I woke up to someone jumping on me, obviously someone very little, "mama" she pulled my hair, "ouch" i sat up, she giggled and leaned forward to hug me, "good morning" i laughed at her attempt of a hug, "bed" she blurted "did you just say bed? can you say it again? bed" i cooed proudly, "bed" she repeated, "show daddy" i joked, knowing he wouldn't be please being woken up before we had to, she tapped him and kept saying "bed", eventually he woke up, "is she saying bed?" he asked sleepily, "yes she is" i laughed, he sat up and lifted her over to him, tickling her tiny frame, she giggled hysterically, "we're gonna wake up the neighbours" i started to get up, "ok so mommy needs a shower but you can stay with daddy" she got up and walked to the edge of the bed, only stumbling once, "shower" she spoke, i clapped at her, proud she was learning so many words. "Yes shower" i told her, "el shower", i looked at derek who was also surprised she could say her nickname, "no mama showers" i kissed her, as i walked into the bathroom i heard "el shower" and "el", as derek tried to get her to say her name.

After i got out of the shower i got changed and got ella dressed, "just say ella" i tried to get her to say, "el" was her only answer, "maybe we should have named her el" i walked into the room holding her on my hip, "so she's going to sleepover at callie's tonight we have the evening to ourselves" i smirked, "perfect" he smirked back.

this is kind of just a filler chapter it's bad but i just wanted to update.