love you always

conversations

After tears, hugs and kisses we made it out the villa and made our way to dinner, "do you think it's a boy or a girl?" he asked, "i don't mind" i smiled, "what do you think ella will do?" he questioned, "i don't know, but when do you want to tell her?" i wondered, "how about after the first ultrasound" he suggested, "i want to be at least 12 weeks" i told him, "are you worried?" he asked, "a little" i whispered, he stopped walking and took my hands in his, "meredith, everything will be okay" he reassured, instead of reply i just hugged him.

"Let's just be optimistic and enjoyed ourselves okay, because we love each other, and we love ella, and we love this baby" he said, his hand on my stomach, "let's go eat i'm starving" i complained.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked me as we looked at the menus, "i cant have alcohol on our honeymoon, how unfair is that" i rolled my eyes, "it'll be worth it" he promised. We ordered food and talked.

We walked back to the villa, my head resting on his shoulder, "that was nice" i smiled softly, "i love you, and i cant wait to grow our family" he smiled back.

Derek was inside while i stepped on the deck that overlooked the whole ocean. It was dark outside, but stars dotted in the sky, deciding to be a little spontaneous, i stripped my clothing and climbed into the pool, the water was warm, i propped my arms on the edge, looking out to the water. It was peaceful, serene.

"Meredith are you..." derek walked out the door and stopped when he saw me, "your not wearing anything" he pointed out, i smirked, "join me" i whispered. He took off his clothes and got in, pulling me to him. He eyed my body, focusing his gaze on my stomach and then my breasts, "enjoying the view?" i asked, he placed his hand on my cheek before kissing me, "i love you" i giggled.

"No sex yet, let's just be together" i suggested, he moved backwards until he was leaning against the wall, i stood next to him, we both looked up at the stars, until it got colder, "der this is nice but i'm cold" i told him, he pulled me to his chest, my legs wrapped around his waist, "i could stay like this forever" he whispered, "as much as i love it i want to go inside, you coming?" i asked, "yeah" he pulled away.

We gathered the clothing strewn all over the deck, and walked inside. I took a shower, with company obviously.

We laid in bed, dereks hand resting on my stomach and mine running through his hair. "I can't wait until your big glowy and pregnant again" he broke the comfortable silence, "you like it when i'm a big fat whale?" i questioned, "meredith your beautiful, no matter what weight, but i like your baby bump, i love the pregnancy hormones and i like the anticipation, waiting for our baby, finding out the gender, decorating the room, the ultrasounds and feeling the baby kicks" he explained, "pregnancy is very different for the person carrying the child" i laughed, "i know" he chuckled, "der how many more do you want?" i asked, "that's up to you" he told me, "thank you, but how many ideally do you want, you can be honest" i said, "as many as you can give me" he replied, "so if i was willing to have 6 more you'd want that" i questioned, "well that would be a lot, and hard to look after, but if that's what you want i'd do it" he told me. I smiled, how did i get so lucky? "absolutely not, i think i only want another one or two" i said, "after this one of including?" he asked, "including" i responded. "I think 3 or 4 is good, and i don't think i could handle anymore" i explained, "then that's what we'll have" he smiled at me.

"I can't believe we're having a second baby" i whispered, "if it's a girl ella will have a sister who will steal her clothes, but they can share 'girl advice' or whatever, and if it's a boy, he can pull her hair and piss her off, but he can kick whoever's sorry ass breaks her heart" i rambled, "i can't believe they'll be teenagers, and they'll drink, be stupid, make terrible decisions and find out that life is harder then it is when your a kid" he replied, "if we have a house or teenage girls i'll have to be the one to explained periods and sex, but if we have boys you can do the sex talk, and don't think with your dick, always wear a condom, no means no, and you know what teenage boys are like..." i continued to ramble, "yes i do, i was one once" derek chuckled, "what were you like?" i wondered, "stupid" he replied, "did you never leave your room, ignore your parents and play with yourself all day?" i asked, slightly worried "let's talk about something else" he laughed, "i'll take that as a yes..." i rolled my eyes. "What we're you like?" he asked me, "crap you don't even want to know" memories of my stupid, rebellious teen years flashed in my mind, god what if my kids are like that. "Tell me" he urged, "i had the worst mother, who didn't give a shit about me, so in an attempt to get attention or whatever i was seeking, i partied too hard, snuck out with my friends, got drunk and got high, plus i dated older guys who took advantage, which is sort of when i tried dating girls, not only did i get attention, i got suspended from school a couple times, god i was awful" i grimaced. "If our kids ask what your childhood was like please tell them you studied hard and only ever behaved" he asked, i laughed, "our kids will be different" i promised, "they'll always be loved, and they'll know it, and we put them first" i told him, "i agree" he smiled, we both drifted off, our bodies still connected.

not really sure what this chapter is, it's more of a filler i just want to update frequently :)