Alive (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 34

What just happened?

He can't be serious right now. This is all one big joke right? He's going to come back in, in a few seconds and we're going to laugh about all this.

Those few seconds pass and he doesn't come back. Those seconds turn to minutes and still he's not here. I look up at the clock and realize I've been standing here for 30 minutes. That's when the paranoia sets it.

He's never coming back.

He realizes what you really are.

He's done.

He is never coming back.

That can't all be true really. Can it? He told me he loved me over and over again. He wouldn't give up that easily would he?

I go to pull out my phone to call him but it's not in my pocket. Where the heck is it? I frantically look through the apartment like my life depended on it, but in a real sick way it kind of did. What am I without him? Nothing.

I never wanted to be one of those girls who depended on a boy for her happiness and reason to live but I am. I turned into one of them and theres no going back now.

I finally find it stuffed between the couch cushions. Pulling it out I quickly unlock it going to call button and push his name, bringing the phone up to my ear. Please pick up, I beg in my head.

It goes to voicemail and my heart immediately goes to my feet. I hear him apologize for not getting to the phone and also hear my laugh in the back round. I remember him making this recording, I couldn't stop laughing at him while he did it. He finishes out the recording and I can tell he's smiling the rest of the time and it makes my heart lurch. We were good then, hell we were good this morning, but of course I have to screw things up as usual.

I try once more but I get his voicemail once again. He said 'see ya later' so that means he's coming back right?

Coming back to break up with you.

I take deep breathes and pace around the living room. It's getting hot and stuffy in here I need to get out.

I shove my phone in my back pocket just incase he calls me back and walk out the door going who knows where.

It was cloudy outside but the fresh air felt nice. I begin walk and I don't know where I'm going until I reach the beach. A walk by the water will be nice. I need something, really anything to keep my mind off of everything really.

God really isn't on my side today is he? As I'm walking I can see a group of about eight people sitting around a volleyball net, none of them playing though. The closer I get the more my heart picks up. I can pick him out of any crowd and I know for a fact that is my boyfriend sitting next to a pretty brunette, which in fact has less clothing on then most of the boys here I'd bet. I could say that for all the four girls that were hanging around in that group. I could pick out Mason, Trevor, and Ryan now as well.

I pick a spot to sit down far enough away so I go unnoticed but so I can still see all of them. My heart is going a mile a minute and I can't slow it down.

They all stand up, except for Louis and start to head off to the water. I start to feel a little better at the sight of that but I deep scowl comes to my face at what I see next. One of the blondes turns around and stops and walks back over to Louis holding out her hand for him to take. He shakes his head with what I can tell was a forced smile. She takes a seat down next to him, closer than necessary and puts her hand on his, but he makes no effort to move it.

I should be mad. I should go over there right now and smack her across the face and tell her to get lost. If it didn't feel like knife was going through my chest over and over again maybe I would.