Alive (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 17

I woke up slowly, and honestly it was perfect. Louis has spent the night again last night and by the looks of it he was still asleep.

I became aware of the position we were in. I was lying on top of him, while his one arm was wrapped around my back, and hand resting on the back of my thigh. This seemed slightly inappropriate for our relationship status not even being boyfriend and girlfriend but I had no will power in me to change anything about it.

Just as I was about to fall back asleep I felt his arm tighten around me and his body slightly shift under mine. I turned my head so I was facing him, just as he started to open his eyes, blinking a few times.

"Good morning," he smiles up at me.

"Morning," I say. I start to move off of him because this seems to me that it would be highly uncomfortable for someone to be laying on top of you against your will. He stops my motions and wraps both his arms around me instead.

"What are you doing, I'm practically crushing you," I say.

"Hardly. Don't worry you weigh next to nothing," he laughed lightly afterwards.

"Are you kidding? Have you seem how much I eat?"

"Yeah I have actually and I'm surprised that you don't weigh 300 pounds." He starts laughing when I punch him in the shoulder, which eventually makes me start to laugh as well.

We lay there for a few more minutes until I think my bladder is going to burst and I finally get up and run to the bathroom. I decided to get somewhat ready in there just doing the essentials, brushing my hair, teeth etc.

Once I come out I can hear the radio playing in the kitchen with Louis singing along to it. I came around the corner and see him looking through the fridge still in his sweatpants from the night before. I stood there watching for a moment since he hadn't noticed me come in yet but as soon the next song on the radio began, the positive attitude in me dropped.

Daylight by Maroon 5. It's funny how a few chords and lyrics can change everything you're feeling and make you feel nothing.

"Can you turn that off," I say making my appearance noticed. He jumped a little and closed the fridge.

"Why you don't like this song?" He asked in a teasing tone, but I'm not having any of it.

"Could you just turn it off?" My tone was now irritated but it was as if he was oblivious.

"I happen to like this song, so I'm going to keep it on." Now it is just getting ridiculous if he wasn't here right now I would be breaking down.

"Turn it off Louis," My tone is stern but he still thinks I'm joking.

"No I don't think I am," he laughed but I'm through with this game.

"I said turn it off!" He immediately stops and looks stunned at my outburst. In fact I want to scream at myself for what I just did but I just stand there like a post, frozen.

Louis goes over and switches it off, but doesn't come back. The tension is thick and I know that it's all my fault, absolutely all mine.

"I think I should go," he says walking out of the kitchen and to the door. I finally snap at of my little trance that I was in and follow him to the door.

"Louis I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's fine, I gotta get going, bye." That's all he says before opening the door and walking out. As if I couldn't feel myself getting lower as soon as he shut that door I felt like my lifeline had disappeared, never to come back.

That's initially what brought me to my knees. The tears came shortly after.

I eventually make my way to the couch and just lay there for who knows how long.

*****

I didn't sleep the whole night an it was brutal. I knew that I needed to go talk to him but I couldn't will myself to move my body was so stiff from laying still for 24 hours.

Eventually I finally got up and went to my closet my clothes were practically sticking to me from being on for two days now.

The walk there I was so nervous I didn't know if I would be able to make it all the way over there. I'm about two blocks away when I see a small coffee shop just a little ways up. Just a small detour wouldn't hurt right?

I walk the little way forward but am stopped abruptly by what I see. Sitting right across from a tall gorgeous brunette sat the boy who is currently breaking my heart.