I woke up with a start, frantically looking around me. I was all alone. I looked around at my apartment searching for any signs of him but there was none. Was it all just a dream? No it couldn't be, it was to real.
Just as I thought that I saw the bathroom door open with Louis stepping out.
I suddenly felt awkward and tense. What's wrong with me, it's just Louis. He tentatively walked back over to me and I couldn't shake the feeling of feeling so weird.
"Hi," he eventually says. I say hi back but we both stay quiet after that. This isn't right. We've never been like this, and it's starting to scare me.
"We should uh should get ready for school," he says. I nod my head and slid out of the bed walking over to the closet. I can feel him watching me as I just stand there.
After what felt like forever of just standing there I just grabbed something off the hanger and went into the bathroom shutting the door probably harder than necessary. It was already awkward enough out there I didn't want to change in front of him to add to it.
I leaned against the sink taking deep breathes. Everything will be fine soon, we just have to get back into the swing of things again. I kept telling myself this as I got ready. Repeating it in my head every minute that passed.
Once I was done I opened the door and saw Louis sit up off the couch when I did. I went and grabbed my bag standing by the door waiting for him.
"Aren't you going to eat something?" He asks.
"No I'm fine." Even the thought of food makes me feel sick right now.
"Are you sure?" He questions again.
"Yeah I'm sure, lets just go." I open the door and step out, turning around to see if he was following. He stands there for a moment but then follows me out, closing the door behind him.
The ride there wasn't as bad as back at the apartment. Mostly because I had my window down and the radio up pretty high. He doesn't bring up the day before and neither do I. We really should but I don't want to start that conversation while things are like this.
Once we arrive I step out and start to head to my first class but he stops me, catching my wrist.
"Hey wait," he turns me around and my breathe catches in my throat, "I'll see you after class right?" His voice has uncertainty in it and I start to feel bad. I've practically ignored him all morning.
"Of course," I say kissing his cheek before taking my hand out of his and walking to my class.
"I love you," he calls out. I turn around and try to ignore some of the people now staring.
"I love you too." He smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
Things will get better, I just have to keep believing that.
******
I sat outside waiting but he still didn't come. I was sat outside my last classes building waiting for Louis to come but there was no sign of him. So he was worried I wouldn't wait for him huh?
Just as I was thinking of leaving I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and saw a new text message from Louis.
Something came up so I won't be there, won't be spending the night either
That was it? No sorry for making me wait 15 minutes just for that? No love ya or see you soon? I wasn't mad, I was pissed.
Why was it such a big deal? So what he couldn't take me home. It's less than a ten minute walk, so why was I so angry?
I stood up off of the step, tightening my bag on my shoulder as I began to walk. My mind was swarming with all kinds of thoughts. This might be it, this might be our breaking point. We're going to start getting distant and soon he's going to be telling me we should see other people. But I don't want to see other people, I don't like other people. I'm so pessimistic it's unhealthy really.
The walk home is quiet and boring. I miss Louis and I just want things to go back to how they were. I could feel that feeling in my gut whenever I was away from him for to long, which was only a couple hours but I knew I wouldn't be seeing him tonight or probably not tomorrow either until maybe the afternoon. How pathetic am I?
Once I get inside I toss my things down on the floor and collapse onto the couch. Why did things have to get so screwed up? It has to get better soon or I don't know what I'm going to do.
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Sorry this chapter was kinda crappy and short but the next one will be better hopefully :)
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Alive (Louis Tomlinson)
Fanfiction"Just 'cause you're breathing doesn't mean you're alive."
