[COMPLETED]
trep·i·da·tion
a feeling of fear or agitation about something that may happen.
***
"You'll see the truth one day." I whispered against his harsh lips knowing this was wrong. The sensation was driving me insane, his warm breath panning...
I can taste it on your mouth And I can't leave it You're a freak like me
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I have so much shit to do, and this is the one thing I absolutely do not want to be doing. The distant voice on the other side of the phone was rambling about something, but I wasn't paying attention.
They don't deserve my attention, yet here I am always listening and following around. Sometimes I wish things could be different and that I didn't have this life.
If I didn't have this life, I also wouldn't have had a lot of things. I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't work for the mafia. I wouldn't have met Indiana.
Dear god, that woman is always in my head. I know I shouldn't be complaining because I actually enjoy something for once, but I know I'll fuck it up one day.
Things are going too good for me right now.
"Harry?" My fathers voice was stern as it snapped me out of my thoughts. "Are you listening to me?"
No.
My prick of a father called me right when I arrived at tonight's venue to talk to me about god knows what. He knew exactly when I arrived here and was alone which is fucking creepy, I hate that he knows my every move.
At first he was screaming at me about annoying shit and that I accidentally left my mask at our last job or something, but I didn't listen to anything after that. He's mumbling about something, I just don't care enough to listen. I don't want to listen to him.
"Yes, I am." I said quietly as I sat down on the couch of my dressing room with a cigarette perched between my lips.
I'm still sober which is nice I guess, but I need something to survive through the withdrawal. Indiana doesn't know, but the first couple of days after I was so beyond sick. Kind of like she was this morning but mine was much more intense.
I almost gave up multiple times just because I couldn't bear the pain of it anymore, but she kept me going. I just wanted to show her that I could fight for myself for once. It seems like everything I do nowadays is for her.
"Then what was I talking about?" My fathers obnoxious voice came back into my head. I rolled my eyes at his words, he always thinks he is the number one person in the world.
"Uh.." I stuttered as I exhaled a puff of smoke. I was not paying attention at all, so I really hope this isn't that important.
"That's what I thought." He huffed into the phone. "You better pay attention next time or else."
"Or else what?" I snapped feeling annoyed just by hearing him. "You'll have me shot dead before I can even step out of this room?"
He was silent on the line for a few seconds, not saying anything. I put my cigarette out much rougher than I intended to, and knocked over a glass on the table next to the ashtray on accident.
