[COMPLETED]
trep·i·da·tion
a feeling of fear or agitation about something that may happen.
***
"You'll see the truth one day." I whispered against his harsh lips knowing this was wrong. The sensation was driving me insane, his warm breath panning...
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something I could take to ease my mind slowly *** THIS IS THE FIRST PART OF A DOUBLE UPDATE!
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Spinning.
That's all I see when I look around the room. The colors blurred into one mush as it whirls around making the pounding headache only ache more.
My brain feels like it's on a fucking rollercoaster that's trying everything in its willpower not to vomit or pass out.
Jokes on me, I've already lost both of those challenges.
I guess you could say last night was a ride of its own. By the time Indiana and I had made it back it was already evening, and I lost it.
Everything I tried to hold together with glue inside me, just broke apart. I lost it and it all came crumbling down like an earthquake. The world around me disappeared as I got taken by the storm.
All I remember is bolting for the bathroom, and then everything was gone. I wanted to keep moving close to find Riley, but I couldn't. My body stopped me before I was able to do that.
I spent the entire night hunched over the toilet, going in and out of consciousness as I did so. My insides poured out of me as Indiana tried to comfort me but it only made me lose it more.
Enraged was how I felt. I tried not to show it, but how was I supposed to hold it together when my life was going like this? There was no way I was supposed to be able to stay strong for that long.
The anger took over me, and I destroyed the bathroom. My fist slammed into the mirror over and over, my knuckles splitting as the blood from them splattered out.
I threw things. The items that were on her counter were now everywhere but their original place. I hated that I destroyed her things but I couldn't take it anymore. I locked myself away as I self-destructed.
All I did was beat myself up, physically and mentally until it knocked me out. The world went black around me and I found myself falling to the ground unable to keep myself stable.
For however long I was passed out on the ground, it felt like my only moments at peace. Just for those minutes, the world went quiet. Silence finally surrounded me, and I felt free. I didn't have the weight of the world on my shoulders during that time.
I didn't have to worry about anything, and it felt so nice. It felt so nice not to feel anything at all. It was so nice until I felt everything at once.
I woke up in a puddle of my own puke. I reeked, and the scent only led me to release more vile. I hated how sick I was. How poorly I felt and how I couldn't even bring myself to keep looking for my sister.
The rest of the night went like that. I clung to the toilet for dear life as Indiana tried to check in on me but I only pushed her away. I knew she was trying her hardest, but she was falling apart herself.
