Home - Atsumu x reader

|| eighteen ||

Nicholas...The one that lead you to finally take a step out of your comfort zone...that showed you what its really like to love and be loved.

He was a simple and sweet guy, someone that respected everyone with respect and that every mother would love to have as their son in law. He never got into trouble, rarely started a fight and always looked out to you. And even though at the age of eighteen you were still plagued by the thought of never being ready for a serious relationship, you sometimes imagined what it would be like to marry Nicholas.

He was the sweetest guy you had ever met, a literal Angel, he even looked like one with his short, blonde hair that had curly tips and his blue eyes.
You had met him in a bar in Kobe after winning a match. He was in Japan for a exchange year, a french university student that was also a professional volleyball player.
For the time being in Japan he had played for a local volleyball club in Osaka, and went to Kobe to celebrate with his team.

The two of you had immidietly noticed each others presence and it was like magic. Normally you werent one to talk to guys on your own, but this was the first time that you felt a stong urge to ask the platin blond male for his number.

"Hey, can I drink something with you? I'll also pay" He said, his french accent thick and a smile on his face, while sitting down on the empty chair next to you.

"Sure." You replied with a kind smile.

"Im Nicholas!"

"(Y/N)" You replied, shaking the males big hand.

The two of you talked and drank for hours, forgetting that you were there to celebrate with your teams.
After the night was almost over he put his phone number into his phone and said goodbye with a kiss on the forehead.

You didnt know what about him made you feel this way, but you wanted to see him again and again.
Even though you had always been scared of being in a relationship. Nicholas made you froget about those fears, and never in your life had you been happier. At the time there was no one that you would have rather spent the year with.

You thought that youd never fall in love again, but Nicholas proved you wrong and even though you were scared of starting a serious relationship with him, he took that fear from you and never once did you regret overstepping those boundaries.

It was a sad day when he told you that he would have to leave and go back to France, but the two of you agreed that it would be better to break up, than have a long distance relationship.

Beause of how happy you were with Nicholas you couldnt explain to yourself why you were so scared of confessing your feelings to Atsumu.
Maybe because youre his Manager and it just wouldnt feel right being in a relationship.

No, that wasnt the reason.

It was the feeling of guilt. Knowing that youd always feel guilty because you Atsumu would have to take care of you. Back when you wer etogether with Nicholas you only suffered from nightmares, taht he could handle pretty well, but being together with Atsumu would also mean that he would have to help you whenever you werent capable of working.
You knew that that feeling of guilt would consume you more and more everyday, even when he does it because he cares about you, you still felt bad for constantly needing his help.

You didnt want to be a burden, not to the person you loved the most.

Feeling guilty for often needing the help of other people like your brother, Max and Maeve came with the knee injury. You knew that you would have trouble walking for the rest of your life and that there would be days where you couldn't do anything without the help if others.
You often saw yourself as a burden even though you knew that you were the only one that thought that.