ikigai [DOTAE] ✅

Chapter 38

A/N I'm on a writing spree do not disturb me

Favorite... Idk JCC episode

Mine was probably JCC Chicago where he mark and Doyoung had a sleepover, I know that's like most people's go to answer, but I literally love it so much

I also enjoyed the one where Johnny and Jaehyun went shopping and Jaehyun got attacked my Jason

Jeffry did not pass Jason's vibe check 😪

Doyoung POV

"I think I love you."

Oh my fucking goodness gracious sweet lego crackers I said it

Taeyong didn't say anything he just stared at Doyoung, shock was very evenident on his face

"I-."

"You don't need to respond it's ok Taeyong."

Doyoung didn't want the older to feel uncomfortable

"No Doyoung."

"What?"

"No."

"I- if you don't feel the same its-"

"I don't know... I think I feel the same... I want to feel the same way... But at the same time I don't.... I've never known love... I grew up in the mafia surrounded only by hate and death... I never grew up discovering if I liked girls or if I liked guys, hell I don't know my own sexuality, I think I love you.... But I shouldn't."

Doyoung's nodded

"But why shouldn't you love me?"

"Because..... People will try to come after you and kill you or do worse, I can't have that happen, if we do this, you're going to find things out about me that no one knows."

                                      •••

Taeyong POV

"Taeyong."
Taeyong glanced at Doyoung then looked back down

He felt Doyoung's soft, cold fingertips brush his chin and lift his head to face him

Doyoung held Taeyong's head up softly with one hand

A while ago Doyoung had moved from his position under the covers to sit on the side of the bed, sitting face to face with Taeyong

"Talk to me."

Taeyong shook his head

"There- there's things about me Doyoung... Secrets I have, I've seen things Doyoung, I've seen things that no human being should see, I've done Things.... Things that you would despise me for, I've killed people... Doyoung I'm a murderer, I can't fucking sugar coat this... I am a horrible person who has done horrible ungodly things, I want stand on the highest cliff and scream and shout my innermost thoughts and feelings to the whole world, and yet not even the worst of criminals would sympathize with me.... I'm not a good person.... You would hate me.... I hate me."

Doyoung's hand left Taeyong's chin, and let it slowly glide up Taeyong's jawline, resting on his cheek, taking his thumb and softly wiping the tears away from Taeyong's face

"You really don't think that I know that you've killed people? No Taeyong, I know and knew good and well what I was and am signing myself up for when I say 'i.love.you.'"

Taeyong didn't know how to react, no one had ever loved him before.
This whole thing was weird and new

"I just don't want you to get hurt again."
Taeyong said in a small whisper, so small Doyoung could barely hear it. But he did

Smiling softly Doyoung placed both of his hands on the back of Taeyong's neck, pulling him closer to himself

Taeyong started to panic
Oh my fuck is he gonna kiss me?

Doyoung brought his own face closer to Taeyong's

Fuck why is this room so hot

Doyoung closed his eyes, tilting his head and

A/N heh.... Guess you'll find out what happens.... Next update

Which isn't going to be tomorrow because I don't post on Sundays

HAH

YALL THOUGHT I WOULD BE ALL SWEET AND GIVE YALL SOMETHING

HELL NAH HOES

I'M STILL A BITCH