ikigai [DOTAE] ✅

Chapter 37

A/N I suck at updating

Oop-

What music did you listen to before kpop

I used to listen to a ToN of classical music because most of my family likes it

Taeyong POV

Taeyong walked inside the hospital room, Ten stayed behind, leaving Taeyong and Doyoung alone

Taeyong walked towards the younger, seating himself on a chair beside Doyoung's bed, where Doyoung was sitting, staring forward

He didn't seem to be looking at anything, Taeyong wasn't even sure he had noticed his presence

"Hey Doyoung."

"...."

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

"....."

"Thank you Doyoung."

Taeyong saw a slight look of confusion flash in Doyoung's eyes but it was gone in a beat

"Thank you for... Thank you for surviving.... Surviving everything... Surviving me, nct... And now this.... Thank you Doyoung."

Taeyong felt himself tear up

"You... You might not know it... But you mean so much to me.... I.... I feel this way towards you that I don't feel towards any of the other members... I have this sense of protection over all of you because I'm their leader.... But for you.... It's different.... And I don't know what that different is."

Taeyong looked down at his hands in his lap, as tears started falling from the corners of his eyes, landing lightly on his skin, the small droplets rolling off his hand and onto his pants

"Doyoung i-."

"Taeyong."

Taeyong looked up from his folded hands that had been resting in his lap, seeing Doyoung with tears gathering in his eyes

"Taeyong I'm scared."

Doyoung looked at Taeyong with the most heart wrenching look in his eyes as a single tear fell down his soft cheek

Taeyong's hand twitched, he automatically had the urge to wipe the tear away, but now was not the time

"I'm scared, what they did to me... It was exactly what you did to me in all my nightmares."

"Please don't be afraid of me Doyoung."

"I'm not.... I'm not afraid of you Tae... I'm afraid of them... I'm afraid of myself... I'm afraid of everyone except you... And I don't know why I'm not afraid of you... I should be.... I should be running from you ... But I'm not... All I seem to be able to do is run towards you."

Doyoung was now crying, he was confused with everything that happened, why wasn't he scared of Taeyong, he should be.... But he wasn't

"And... And I know you're going to try to promise me safety again... But please don't...."

"I know... I'm sorry... I broke my promise."

"No that's the problem Taeyong, even when that was happening... For some crazy unexplainable reason I FELT SAFE.... WHY .... TAEYONG WHY?! I WAS BEING PAINFULLY TORTURED, I ALMOST FUCKING DIED! BUT I FELT SAFE BECAUSE YOU WERE THERE, AND YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME... WHY TAEYONG?! WHY DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO SAFE?!"

Doyoung was now worked up, he was clearly frustrated with the confusion of his feelings

"I- I look at you and I feel safe.... I- I look at you.... And I'm home."

"I- I don't know why that is Doyoung, i-."

"Taeyong."

"Yeah?"

"I think I love you."

A/N dives off cliff
Idk where I was going with this chapter

I just went somewhere

And there is a confession

Also... I have this really important line that I've been planning for a long ass time, and I wrote it down in a book I have, but that book is at my dad's house... And I'm at my mom's until Monday.... Divorced parents am I right or am I right 🤪

Literarily my life🙄💅

Maybe I'll remember the whole line and be able to add it into a chapter without having to wait till Monday, but idk we'll see