Separian - Book 1

Chapter 36

"Mike, I said I'm sorry," Marissa cried from the outside of the door. "What more can I do?"

He was playing a game of chess with Blake and both of them had already tuned out every voice but their own and mine.

"Should I ask? Or would you prefer that I didn't?"

Mike shrugged, no real emotion visible. He was playing the game, but his mind was absent.

"Beyond the obvious betrayal, why are you so angry at them for manipulating your memories?" I asked.

"Because our memories are sacred," he said, leaning back from his game and rubbing his eyes. He was clearly trying to keep something from erupting within him. "Some people have rules that should never be broken, some for personal reasons. And for me, it's that my memories are off limits."

"Because it's rude?" I asked.

"Because it is possible," Blake corrected me. "The ability to manipulate memories is something Quinn learned from the two of us in the first place." He motioned between himself and Mike. "Valerie never took the time to help Quinn over the death of her parents, so when we became comfortable enough with Quinn that she opened up about it, we helped to repress some of those memories, and those that we couldn't repress, we altered. At her request."

"Why?"

"Imagine watching your parents die. Over, and over, and over, until the scene is branded into your very eyes. Every day you wake up, you see it. Every night when you dream, it's clawing at the back of your subconscious mind, fighting to be heard. We taught her how to repress her memories to keep from allowing them to consume her, and she learned. So naturally, she wanted to be sure she had retained the skill." Obviously she had. "Obviously?" Blake asked. "Breakfast." He paused as the word seemed to shake Mike a bit. "To see if she had in fact grasped it, we told her to make us believe that we didn't have breakfast that morning. Something simple so she didn't go wandering too far into our minds, trying to change them by mistake."

He stopped speaking, reading Mike's face and deeming it best he stop before telling me the conclusion. But I needed to know. "And did it work?"

Mike's eyes had glazed over and he went to stand by the window. His breathing was erratic. "She-" He stopped himself and took a deep breath, trying not to cry any more than he was. "My mother," he said finally. "She erased my mother." I could see a droplet pooling at the bottom of his jaw.

According to Mike, our mother's didn't survive our birthing process. His comment made little sense, so I turned to Blake for an explanation.

Photographs, stories from his grandparents, a letter she wrote for him after the doctors told her she wasn't going to make it. All gone, in an instant. After that, Quinn swore she would never tamper with his memories again. Obviously she has learned to control it since last time, but Mike still feels betrayed. And now you know why.'

Blake was throwing up the idea of trying to console Mike with a hand on his shoulder, but held himself back. Mike wasn't one who was easily soothed. Blake knew that above anyone else.

"Would you like me to leave?" I asked, already making my way to the door.

Blake nodded.

Marissa was sitting on the floor opposite the door when I opened it. She stood immediately, hopeful, but I shook my head at her. Her eyes sank as did her body, back to the floor, where she continued to mope, quietly.

I left her in the empty hallway and proceeded downstairs. I didn't want to be so close to Mike, anymore. His emotional state was worse than even my own. The only thing I could think of that might distract me from his thoughts was physical labor. So I looked for a way to help repair some of the damages I'd caused.