My Lucky Star (One Direction Affection: Book 2)

27: Let What Happens, Happen

♧ 27: Let What Happens, Happen ♣

9/26/2012


Today was...interesting. 

There really isn't any other word to put it. And I'm not saying it was interesting in a "I don't want to hurt anyones feelings so I'll say it was 'interesting'" kind of way. But more like of a "I have no idea what to make of today's events."

If it was possible, Niall had confused me ten times more. First, he picks me up from work. Not that I minded that. If it were up to me, I'd prefer it. And then he surprises me by taking me to a Planetarium. It's obvious he put some thought into it. However, that's not all. All night, Niall acted differently and even now as I write this, I can't explain it. I mean, it was a good different like he wasn't holding back anymore. 

But that just confuses me.

What is he trying to do, confuse me? Because he will if he keeps this up.

However, despite the fact that my head felt like it was going to explode everytime he touched my hand, the night was perfect. Everything was perfect. Niall is perfect. And I hate it. I actually hate how amazing Niall is because when it comes down to it, he is taken. He is dating Trinity and I can't change that. All the things he does just makes it harder on me. Everything; his shy smile, his laugh, his eyes, his voice, the way he thinks of others before himself, even the way he drenches his food in ketchup. All of those things just make me like him even more. 

But I want to stop liking him because I know I can't really do anything about it until Niall realizes that Trinity isn't right for him.

And god knows how long that'll take. 

And by the time Niall does realize it, will I already be gone?



Shutting the journal, I stare at the cover. I trace my finger along the torn up spine and I can't help but think that Niall is right, I do need a new journal. If I keep this up, the journal will fall apart before I even get to the last page. With a sigh, I hope off my bed and lift up my mattress just enough so I can carefully slip my journal underneath. 

Then, just as I straighten myself back up, from the hallway I hear raised voices. As far as I know, everyone is asleep. Zayn passed out as soon as he got back from the interview and Niall and Liam went to bed about an hour ago. And Louis is still out with Eleanor and if I dont know any better, I would say he's sleeping over. Then I remember my conversation with Paige.

I'm waiting for Harry, she had told me when I asked her if she was busy. I was looking for a time to talk to her about Niall. We ended up talking for another hour before I decided to head back to my room. By that time, Harry still hadn't returned.

So, I'm guessing she finally told him after a month of secrecy. Again, I hear another sound down the hall, but through all the walls the voice is passing through, I can't catch a single word. Slowly, I walk to the door and right as I was about to reach for the handle, I quickly rethink things. 

Should I? I mean, is it right for me to barge in on their relationship like this? Probably not. 

Just then, another shout comes from down the hall and my curiosity gets the best of me.

Opening my bedroom door, I quietly step out into the wall, my bare feet sticking to the wood flooring as I go. The closer I get to Harry and Paige's room, the more words I can make out. However, it wasn't until I was standing at the closed door to their room that I could hear everything perfectly.

"No, Harry you don't understand," I hear Paige say, now with urgency. 

"I think I understand perfectly, Harry replies. "If you honestly thought that going back to school for that reason was right, then that worries me. How would you feel if roles were reversed? You can't possibly say that you wouldn't feel offended."

"I never meant to offend you, that's the last thing I wanted," Paige says quickly. "You have to believe me!"

"I'm trying to, Paige, but did you even listen to your reasoning?" Harry counters.

"But you were looking into it too much. I never said that I didn't have faith in us," I hear Paige plead.

Oh god, this isn't going how I wanted their conversation to go. I had hoped that Harry would understand. I had even told Paige that just an hour before. Why do I have to be wrong every single time? 

With a sigh, I run my hand through my hair. However, right as I'm lifting my elbow, it knocks against the bedroom door and I freeze. For a second there I hope that this didn't actually happen. That maybe, I didn't actually knock against the door while I was spying on them. 

However, all hope of that is shattered the moment I hear what is going on through the other side of the door. Or what I don't hear. I hear nothing but pure silence. It's almost as if my little interruption could make this situation better or worse. Maybe, if I'm lucky, the knock made them both stop for a while, regain their composure. Or maybe, and I'm placing my money on this option, the interruption just angered them. They probably know someone is at the door and they're angry someone is spying. 

The logical thing to do is run. However, I can't do that because if they hear my footsteps padding away, then all hope of option one happening goes down the drain. And even if there is one strand of hope, I'm holding onto that.

As if right on cue, through the door, in Harry's drawn out British, I hear him say in a suddenly calm voice, "Look Paige."

And that's when I step away from the door. I don't need to hear the rest because if Harry is willing to calm down, everything is going to be fine. They'll talk it over because they love each other. And if it's one thing I know, if they truly care for each other, they'll listen to what the other has got to say.

I know thing'll work out for the both of them.

And I won't be wrong about this.

I begin making my way down the hallway. Before I can get halfway to my room, I hear the sound of a guitar playing from the room to my left. None other than Niall's room. My first instinct is to open the door and ask why he is still up, but who am I to ask? I'm still up. And my second thought is to just continue walking down the hall, leaving Niall in peace. However, both thoughts get overthrown once option three comes to mind.

Let what happens, happen. That is what Niall had said and that's what I'm going to do.

I turn towards Niall's and knock twice. After a second, the guitar stops and Niall's voice calls, "It's open."

Without hesitation, I open his bedroom door, quietly closing it behind me. Turning around I see Niall sitting on his bed with his guitar laid out on his lap. His is in a white t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. 

"Hey, Maddy," Niall greets. "What are you doing up?"

"I can ask you the same thing," I reply slyly. "But, I heard some shouting so I decided to check it out."

"Paige and Harry?" Niall asks. I nod. "I heard that too. Do you know what's going on?"

Again I nod my head. There is no point in trying to keep it a secret anymore. If Harry already knows, then it's safe for the rest of the boys to know. "Paige wants to go to college."

"She does?" He asks, raising his eyebrows. "Thats amazing. But why would Harry be upset over that?"

I shrug, "I didn't get to hear much of the conversation." Before I blew my cover and ran into the door.

"Well, if it's one thing I know about Paige and Harry is that their relationship started with pure fighting," Niall explains. "In fact, I'm pretty sure Harry hated Paige for a while."

"He hated her?" I repeat, shocked. 

"Oh, yeah," Niall nods. "It was always tense when the two were in the same room together. But, their relationship is complicated and if they can get past what they have in the past, then they can get past this little fight. I know it."

Hearing Niall say this out loud just makes me feel even more confident about the outcome. I was so scared that this fight could tear them apart, but Niall is confident, so why shouldn't I? If they've been through worse then a little fight about a university will be nothing.

"Well, that makes me feel a lot better," I smile as I make my way over to his bed and sit down next to him. "So, you never answered me, what are you doing up?"

"I was actually watching the recording of Zayn's interview," Niall tells me. "Then I couldn't sleep so I decided to play some guitar."  

"Wait, you actually watched the interview?" I ask. That thing was about me and I didn't even bother watching it.

He nods. "Yeah, of course I did."

"Um, Zayn didn't say anything embarrassing about me, right?" I ask cautiously. I can just picture Zayn saying some funny comment about me on camera. If he did, I'll be sure to pay him back.

"No, he was his usual self," Niall says.

"Great," I mumble, "That's not reassuring in the least."

Niall laughs, "But he did come out and say that you two aren't dating and that you're just good friends."

I nod. "Thank goodness."

"So, um," Niall says a bit shyly. "Was he telling the truth? There really isn't anything going on between you two?"

I resist the urge to scoff and laugh at the same time. Why is it that everyone thinks that there is something going on between Zayn and I? Zayn is just your average quiff sporting, tattoo obsessed, singing best guy friend. Nothing more.

"Why does everyone think that?" I ask in disbelief.

"I don't know, I jus-" Niall cuts himself off, obviously rethinking something. "Never mind, I guess that really doesn't matter anymore, does it?" 

A smile spreads across Niall's face as I see a hint of relief and a little bit of something else settle. I can't help but feel a bit confused as to what he means? Why doesn't that matter anymore? 

"Oh! I finally figured out the name to that song," Niall beams proudly as he pats his guitar.

I raise my eyebrows in astonishment. "You did? Well, what is it?"

"I can't tell you," Niall says quickly. 

"You can't tell me?" I repeat. 

Niall nods. "That's right."

"And why not?"

"Because I can't tell you."

I narrow my gaze at him. "Can't or won't?"

Niall sucks in his lower lip as if he is thinking hard. "I guess a little bit of both."

"Thats not fair," I say.

"Well, you'll just have to wait until tomorrow," Niall informs me.

I look at him curiously. "Tomorrow?"

"I got approval to play it at the charity event," Niall beams and then adds, "Well, if that's okay with you?"

"Oh, now you're asking my approval?" I say, raising one eyebrow. 

"Well, it is your charity even after all," He smiles.

True. But it really isn't up to me what the boys sing because that's up to management. Besides, Niall helped just as much as I did with this so he can really do whatever he wishes regarding the songs. However, the longer I stare at Niall, and the more I look at the guitar that is resting on his lap, I come to an easy compromise.

"Okay, here's the deal," I say suddenly as I turn on the bed to face Niall, tucking my right leg under my left. "Teach me how to play the guitar. If you agree to teach me, you can sing whatever you want tomorrow."

Niall looks down at his guitar before returning his gaze to me. "That's all?"

"Is it too much to ask?"

"No, no," Niall says quickly. "It sounds like a good trade to me."

"Really?" I ask, I was almost positive that Niall was going to reject my offer. I mean, guitar lessons are usually so expensive and he is willing to do it in exchange for one song? I feel like I'm cheating him out.

"Yeah, really," He clarifies as he hands over his guitar. "Here ya go."
 
"Right now?" I ask as I hesitantly take it from his grasp. 

"Well, what better time than now?" He asks as he looks back down at his guitar. 

"Well, it's kinda late," I answer lamely.

"Do you wanna learn?"

"Well, yes, bu-"

"Then let's start now."

I see the determination in his eyes and I honestly don't know why he is so keen on playing the guitar now, but now that I think about it, I'm in no hurry to get back to bed. Besides, I'm letting whatever happens, happen and it just so happens that guitar playing is happening.

"Okay, Ireland," I smile. "Teach me."

He let's out a small chuckle. "I guess the first thing you need to know is how to hold it properly. Here-" Niall moves across the bed so our sides are touching and takes my right hand which was resting on my thigh and places it at the bottom of the guitar. 

"And move your left hand up-" He then takes my hand and places on the neck of the guitar, before spreading each finger out across the strings. I have to make sure to close my mouth or else Niall would hear my breath catch.

"And just rest it on your thigh-" Still holding my left hand, he lowers the guitar down onto my leg. Once it's placed, Niall keeps his hands where they are. I keep my gaze down on the guitar, afraid of what would happen if I gaze into his deep blue eyes. I can feel my heart pound wildly inside my chest and it takes everything in my power to keep myself under control. How can Niall make something as simple as holding a Guitar some sensual act? 

"Is this okay?" I ask, keeping my eyes strained on the hand which is over the strings.

"It's perfect," Niall whispers.

I can feel his breath at my ear. I know exactly how close he is and I know it isn't safe for me to be this close to a taken man but I can't bring myself to pull away. I can't.

"Now, take this between your fingers," Niall says as he hands me his blue pic. Trying to keep my hand from shaking, I reach up and grab it, holding the pic with my middle and forefinger and thumb. "And then you just-"

Again, Niall places one of his hands over my right as I feel his left arm snake around my waist, grabbing hold of my left hand, which is over the strings. Guiding me, he moves my hand over the strings, pressing down on some note. Then with his right, he gently moves my hand so I strum the guitar. 

A sound comes out but it is nothing compared to how an actual guitar sounds. 

"That sounded horrible," I manage to mumble.

"Well, you know what they say," Niall's voice is low and his Irish accent is just sending my mind on a frenzy. And to top it all off, he adds, in a sultry voice. "Practice makes perfect."

The urge to look at him intensifies and I know that if I do, something out of our control will happen. Something that neither of us will be able to stop because even as we sit here, with his arms around me, it's happening. I can't deny that and if I take one look at him, everything'll just escalade. 

Then, in the back of my head, I remember the four words Niall had said: Let whatever happens, happen.

And that's exactly what I do.

Without a second thought, I turn my head, finally seeing just how close Niall and I really are. My breath catches as his blue eyes pierce mine and it takes everything in me to not look away. I can't. His eyes have always been my weakness. Looking into them I always found myself lost and yet Niall's eyes always knew who I was. His eyes are pure and knowing and it seems impossible that once you look at him, you won't be able to look away. 

That is until he does.

His eyes slowly drift down until they fall upon my lips and once that happens I know what is going to happen next. Once his eyes fell to my lips, there was no doubt that gradually our lips would draw closer and closer to each other as if drawn by some magnetic force. I can feel our lips closing in and yet it feels like it's taking forever for it to finally happen. 

Let whatever happens, happen. 

And finally, our lips touch and the moment they do, it's uncontrollable. The kiss doesn't start out timid or shy. The second his lips press against mine, it's hungry and heated as our lips move together feverishly. He removes his right hand and places it at my neck, immediately pulling me in closer. It's almost as if we are trying to make up for our lost time. Like we knew this moment was going to happen and since it didn't happen sooner, we are making up for it now. 

And I'm perfectly fine with that.

My mind goes blank and the only thing I can think of is Niall, his lips, the feel of his arms around me and how long I've waited for this to happen. I can't be bothered with thinking about anything else because when it comes down to it, nothing else matters. It's just me and Niall. 

Just me and you.

With my lips glued to Niall's I instinctively, wrap my arm around his neck, pulling him down onto the bed to deepen the kiss. However, he moment I do, a loud thud fills the room and Niall and I jump apart.

The moment our lips separate, I'm suddenly thrown back into reality. A reality that, moments ago, I didn't want to acknowledge. A reality where Niall Horan is dating Trinity Drake.

And that's when I realize what a horrible mistake I just made.

"Oh my god," I say, hoping off the bed as I run my hands through my hair. "I can't believe I just did that."

"Its alright, Maddy," Niall says reassuringly. Its alright? This situation is anything but alright. How can he say that? Ready to explode on him, I immediately look over my shoulder and see Niall's guitar on the floor. "You didn't break it."

It's then that I realize that Niall wasn't talking about the kiss. Instead, he was more concerned about his guitar than the fact that we just committed an act that I find repulsive. How can I do that? Even if it is Trinity Drake, no girl deserves to be treated like this. No girl should ever have to be cheated on and it's all my fault. I am going to cause another girl heartbreak and pain just because I couldn't control myself.

What kind of sick person am I?

I feel my stomach drop as I see Niall, who is kneeling down picking up his guitar. He scans it over, before smiling up at me. "See? No scratches."

I can't believe him. Does he really have no idea what kind of horrible act we just did? How can he smile like that? 

I shake my head slowly, "I'm sorry, Niall."

He looks at me confused. "But it's alright."

"No it's not," I say, backing away from him. "It's not and I'm sorry, I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"This," I reply. "I'm sorry."

And just like that I turn around and bolt out the door. The last thing I hear is Niall shout after me as I make my way down the hall and back to my room, slamming the door tight behind me.

I can't do this, I really can't be doing this anymore. Who am I kidding? I don't belong here and as far as I know, I'm just causing more problems. Zayn had to go on air to tell people that he is still single, I didn't help Paige at all with her relationship, in fact, I probably made it worse by not telling her that she was making a mistake by nit telling Harry. And I just ruined Niall's and Trinity's relationship. 

Trinity is right. I am taking and not giving. I'm just a bigger problem than I am help and if anything, everyone in this house would be better off without me. I need to stop kidding myself. I never belonged here.

And I can't stay here.

With that thought, I begin packing all my belongings. Everything that I see that is mine I take and throw it into my bag. I only take what I absolutely need and the rest I leave, considering I won't have room left for everything. Grabbing my phone off my night stand, I quickly send a text to Montey. Once that is out of the way, I grab my jacket that I had worn earlier and pull it over my head. 

As I'm pulling my backpack strap over my shoulders, a knock comes at the door and before I have any time to answer, Niall is opening the door. "Hey Maddy, what hap-" He stops talking the moment he looks at my bag. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Um, yeah," I answer slowly. "I am."

"But it's two in the morning," Niall informs me as if I don't already know. 

"I know, but I have to go," I say, trying my best not to look Niall in the eyes. "I'm going to see a friend."

"When will you be back?" He asks, almost desperately. 

"I won't be back," I manage to say with a straight face.

"Wait, what?" Niall says in shock. I can't look him in the eyes so I focus my attention on my shoes. 

"I can't stay here anymore."

"But you can't leave. Not after-" Niall pauses, rethinking himself. "Just, Maddy please, don't go."

The plea in his voice pulls at my heart. I can just hear the worry and hurt in his voice but I can't afford to stay here any longer. I  am only tearing this place apart the longer I'm here and they'll all be better off if they just went back to normal. 

Then I take one step towards Niall before pulling him into one last hug. I take in everything that I've come to know about this boy; his soft blonde hair, his outdoorsy smell, and his warm embrace. I cherish those things for one last moment before pulling out of his grasp. However, before I leave, I reach into my pocket and just as I had hoped, I felt the familiar pointed edges of my lucky star. I pull it out and place it in his palm before closing his fingers around it.

"I'm sorry, Niall. I really am."

And just like that, I'm out the door.

_______________________________________

A/N:

MERRY CHRISTMAS! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS! :D I hope you all enjoy today!

I have a couple things to say, so FIRST! My best friend, and the one I wrote 1Dentity for, has finally joined Wattpad! Yay! And at some point we are planning to co-write a story together :D Her name is EpicRae17 (we have cute matching names haha) and she's a weenie and doesn't really know the complexity of Watty World ;D haha but chat her up! She's cool! you can find her on my profile! :D

Second! I just got done with my first ever interview! I KNOW! I'm freakining out haha if you want to go check it out, leave a vote for the wonderful interviewer, it'd mean a lot! You can find the link to the story in my Recent Votes :)

And lastly, yesterday, a reader messaged me asking if I could promote hers and her friends story for her brithday and since it's Christmas, I dedcided, why not? :D So, everyone! Please do her a favor! If you are looking for a new fan fiction to read, why not this one? The story is called It Started with Peri-Peri it is by LiveLearnLaugh8 and mooeymoo (the story is on her account) So, Happy Birthday, LiveLearnLaugh8 and Merry Christmas! :D

Okay, so yes this was a Christmas present and for those who are interested in seeing the fight between Harry and Paige, don't worry, I will be wring a 1DA: Exrta for them! Expect to see that up sometime soon! :D

LOOK AT FROGBERT! :D

Merry Christmas again and I luff you all! :D I hope you get everything you want!

Until next chapter, 

-Lou :D