Finding Love

Prologue

Ruth felt her heart beat violently near her rib cage. She leaned against the wall for the strength to stand on her legs. The tears clouded her vision as she started to sob. The blood dripped rapidly from her lips. This was all surreal and she could not believe this was happening to her. She had witnessed her mother being abused and did not want to relive her past. Thomas charged at her again after slapping her and Ruth proceeded to escape out of the front door. "You are not leaving me," he yelled like a madman. Ruth was at a loss for words. He grabbed her arms and slammed her next to the wall once again. Ruth screamed and winced in pain from the shock waves that ripped her body. 

She had never seen him so angry and violent towards her. Her body instantly began to tremble in fear. "Lord,' she cried out in her mind. 'Please get me out of this she continued to pray.  "Why are you acting this way? I never said I was leaving you," she managed to say. She wanted to calm him down somehow. Ruth held her bruised shoulders and gasped at her aching arm. She was planning to go and see her mother for a few days and Thomas suddenly snapped at her unexpectedly. She had noticed he was a bit distant and easily triggered but she had no idea it would lead to this. "Don't play innocent," he barked aggressively. "I overheard you on the phone talking to your friends saying you don't know what you are doing wrong. You informed her that you were at crossroads, wondering about the direction of this relationship. You made it emphatically clear you felt lost and hopeless," he retorted angrily. 

Ruth swallowed the huge gulp in her throat and bit her bottom lip thinking about the conversation shocked and appalled that he heard it all. He must have gotten home early and eavesdropped on the phone conversation, she thought. Ruth loved Thomas but lately, their relationship had gone from bad to worse. After one year in the relationship problems started to develop. In the second year, things started to get worse. Ruth was ready to walk away because she realized this was not the type of relationship she wanted. 

He was possessive, jealous, angry, and verbally abusive.  Ruth hated to admit it but she had felt stuck the entire year because she was losing herself. She remained calm and took a deep breath trying to defuse the situation. "I am sorry you heard that. But work has been stressful and I was confused about the dynamics of our relationship. I know you love me," she forced a smile. Thomas laughed in disgust mocking her knowing she was not being honest.

"Work is the problem. You are spending too much time with your boss Spencer. I know he has eyes for you," Thomas said. Ruth looked at him blankly thinking that any form of emotion would just trigger him again. She hated this insecure and jealous side of him. He was accusing her more than ever. "Go and get yourself cleaned up. You are not going anywhere," he stated angrily. Ruth stared at him in the face boldly no longer afraid. Her gut told her not to go back into that room and do all she could to get out of the apartment.

She changed her strategy. "Thomas we both know you don't want me anymore. You have been having an affair with Joanna for the last few months. "Please let me go," she suggested. Ruth remembered how hurt and devasted she felt.  Thomas was stunned and taken aback that she knew the truth. He did everything to hide it. It was just a fling and he had no intentions of leaving Ruth for Joanna. 

Ruth saw him searching his inner thoughts. "How did you find out?" he asked. "Joanna told me the truth," Ruth recalled remembering how hurt she felt that day. She saw his jaw clenched and anger boiled in his eyes. Who was this man? This was not the Thomas she fell in love with.

"Ruth I love you. It was a mistake being with her," he said trying to pull her into his arms. "Don't you dare touch me," she cried. "When you beat me, was that a mistake? When you verbally abused me was that a mistake too?" she screamed at him no longer intimidated." I want nothing to do with you, Thomas Anderson. You have hurt me enough. I am walking out that door and you can't stop me," she said backing away from him.  He charged at her again but froze in his tracks when he heard the cops knocking at the door.