Finding Love

CHAPTER 13

Evaluating the Relationship

Ruth looked up at the ceiling in her bed reflecting upon her relationship with Thomas. She loved him but she was drowning in his insecurities and verbal abuse. About an hour after she returned home she heard him knocking at her apartment door. She did not have the strength to deal with his drama tonight. She refused to open the door. "What do you want?" she asked behind the closed door. "Ruth please let me in," he begged. She ignored his pleas and leaned next to the door. He started to sob and cry out, " I am sorry Ruth. You mean everything to me. I am a better version of myself when I am with you. It's just that I love you so much and can't live without you. You are my everything. I know I do and say stupid things to hurt you. I will go to counseling and get help but please don't shut me out," he begged. 

Ruth sighed feeling her emotions weaken and compassion intensifying.  Did she really want to pursue this relationship any longer? It was hard trying to figure out what to do next when her heart was invested. She did not want to hurt him. However, would she be hurting herself if she stayed with him? She could not be the one to save him even if she wanted to. This man was someone she loved. Ruth was conflicted. She opened the door and Thomas fell into her arms.

The Truth Comes Out 

Ruth folded her arms as a defensive mechanism trying to process everything Joanna Taylor was sharing. The woman had arrived an hour ago and was revealing the history of her relationship with Thomas. The entire time Ruth swallowed the huge gulp in her throat and held back the tears beating at her eyelids. She kept thinking that it was only God that kept her from marrying this man. She should not have gotten caught up at all. From the beginning, Thomas flashed his accomplishments. Her spirit did not take to him right away but he was so relentless and adamant in pursuing her that she decided to give him a chance. When he saw she was not interested or impressed with things he tried to show the human side to himself. Ruth really thought he was genuine and loved her. Now hearing the truth showed her this man was more selfish than she ever realized. 

Ruth looked at Joanna and pitied her. Ruth knew Joanna had formed soul ties with him so it was harder for her to break the covenant or connection they had. Joanna was a beautiful woman sharing herself with a man who did not care about her at all. "I am sorry for what he has put you through. But you should know that a relationship with him is toxic," Ruth said holding her hands and surprising herself.

 Joanna looked up unable to hold the tears back any longer. "Wow, you are an amazing woman Ruth. You should hate me, scream at me or throw me out of your office. But you choose to show empathy and compassion even when I don't deserve it. I see why he loves you," Joanna sniffles. "You have to do these differently so God can bring the man in your life who would cherish you," Ruth continued. Joanna looked at Ruth still moved at her reaction. She held herself together and was ready to walk away with the little dignity she had left. "Thank you for listening to my story. I wish you the best Ruth. But you are on a different path from this man. Talking with you and seeing the kindness you possess shows me that you deserve a man who will love you unconditionally and not cheat on you. Thomas is not that man. I am going to finally take care of myself for a change and walk away without looking back," Joanna said staying true to her word. 

"I applaud you for waiting for marriage. I am happy you did not give yourself to him and chose to do it differently. I have a lot of cleaning up to do in my life," Joanna said hanging her head down in shame. Ruth touched her gently, "You have nothing to be ashamed about. Everyone's testimony is different. I am far from perfect and will never judge you. It's never too late to change your life. God does not hold your sins against you when you are truly sorry and repent. I pray that you get the reset you deserve Joanna and don't get pulled back into your past," Ruth stated escorting her out of the office. "Take care of yourself, Ruth," Joanna said sincerely. "Likewise Joanna," Ruth said watching her leave. When she was gone the emotions flooded her like a tsunami. Ruth cried uncontrollably leaning next to the wall as she processed the exchange that took place. She was ready to completely walk away from Thomas for good.