Finding Love

CHAPTER 1

Understanding Ruth

Ruth Dawkins held her pillow tightly against her chest. She hid under the covers traumatized from the screaming and crying coming from her mother in the next room. Her dad had just arrived home from the bar ranting and raging. Ruth knew it spelled troubled. She had enjoyed her tenth birthday with her mom. It was good to be away from the drama and problems at home just for one day.  Most recently, Henry Dawkins had suddenly found pleasure and delight in drinking making his home a living hell for his wife and daughter. Ruth shivered each time the front door opened and her dad was home. Unfortunately, he was an alcoholic and was very abusive to her mother. These days she loved to be anywhere but home to avoid the throbbing headache that emerged from the horrible environment. Ruth would repeat the 23rd Psalm and ask God to stop her dad from abusing her mom. She loved her father but hated the toxic man he had become. 

"Ruth," Henry knocked at her door relentlessly. Ruth started to panic and crawled deeper under the covers. What did he want? Her dad rarely talked to her when he was drunk and her mom did not want him near her when he was like this.  The loud knocking on the door got more aggressive and intentional. Ruth held her hands on both ears to block out the sound and prayed the Our Father prayer in her heart. She found comfort in praying after attending Sunday School and learning about God. She was happy that her mom allowed her to go to church with a class friend. It made the hurt and pain bearable because she had someone to talk to about her problems. She would pray and write in her journal to God. 

"Baby open up the door. Daddy wants a hug from the birthday girl," his words slurred making Ruth jump. Where was her mother? Was she alright? She did not like to be around him when he was drunk. It was overwhelming and scary. "Come on sugar give Daddy a kiss. Don't be a party pooper. Open up this door," he shouted. He began pulling at the door violently. Ruth ran from her bed inside the closet trying to hide from the aggravating noise on the other end. 

"Open up my bloody door," he screamed and banged at the door repeatedly again. Ruth began to shake back and forth rocking her little body to hide from the intense noise in the background. "Mom, please be okay," Ruth cried out worried that her mother was nowhere in sight. "God, please let my mom be okay. You promise never to leave me," she prayed as the tears fell like raindrops from her eyelids. Suddenly, the noise stopped and Ruth heard her mother on the other end of the door. "Sweetie, it's mommy open up the door," she sobbed. Ruth reluctantly opened the door and saw the bruise and battered face of her mother. She ached at that moment seeing her in this condition. Ruth gasped when she saw her Dad knocked out cold on the floor. Her mother got scared and hit him over the head when he charged at Ruth's door wondering what he would have done to his own daughter. Olivia Dawkins kissed her daughter on her forehead. "Let's get out of here," she said grabbing her daughter's hands. Ruth looked down at her Dad as they left the house and never looked back.

Freshman Year

Ruth finally completed her term paper and was ecstatic that she could finally breathe again. Her studies were extremely important to her. She majored in journalism after falling in love with writing when she was ten years old.  Ruth was eighteen now and excited to be in college in Austin, Texas. A lot had changed over the past eight years that made up for her messy childhood. She fought to make herself become a success even when the odds were against her.  Firstly, her Dad had died five years ago and accepted Christ as his personal Savior. After she left with her mom, her Dad's life spiraled out of control and he developed liver disease from excessive drinking. Ruth was happy he changed in the end and asked for forgiveness from her mother. Ruth leaned back in her chair. She inhaled and exhaled.  Her roommate and friend  Malissa stared at her intensely as she closed her laptop. Malissa admired her commitment to her studies but thought Ruth needed more balance in her life.