Finding Love

CHAPTER 14

Getting help 

Thomas continued to watch Ruth's every move. "Work is the problem. You are spending too much time with your boss Spencer," Thomas said. Ruth looked at him blankly thinking any form of emotion would just trigger him again. Why was he jealous of a man engaged to another woman? It made no sense to her. He was the one messing around with someone else. "Go get yourself cleaned up. You are not going anywhere," he stated angrily. Ruth stared at him in the face boldly no longer afraid. Her gut told her not to go back into that room and do all she could to get out of the apartment. 

She changed her strategy. "Thomas, we both know you don't want me anymore. You have been having an affair with Joanna for a few months. Please let me go," she suggested. Ruth remembered how hurt and devasted she felt about it all. Thomas was stunned and taken aback that she knew the truth. He did everything to hide it. It was a fling and he had no intentions of leaving Ruth for Joanna let alone her finding out. 

Ruth saw him searching his inner thoughts. "How did you find out?" he asked. "Joanna told me the truth. She saw his jaw clenched and anger boiled in his eyes. Who was this man? This was not the Thomas she fell in love with. His anger was out of control. "Ruth I love you. It was a mistake being with her," he said trying to pull her into his arms. "Don't you dare touch me," she cried. "When you beat me was that a mistake? When you verbally abused me was that a mistake too," Ruth asked. 

"I want nothing to do with you, Thomas Caldwell. You have hurt me enough. I am walking out that door and you can't stop me," Ruth said backing away from him. He charged at her again but froze when he heard the cops knocking at the door. 

Picking up the Pieces Months later

Ruth never looked back after that day. She thanked God the police arrived when they did. She and numerous women came forth telling their stories about relationships with Thomas Caldwell. It seemed he had a history of abusing women but getting away with it because he was wealthy. Ruth was happy when others came forth because she could not face pressing charges and going through the legal system to have to deal with Thomas and the trauma she endured. After charges were filed, lawsuits followed ruining Thomas and the empire he built dismantled. Simply because she spoke up others came forth and were willing to fight Thomas in court. She forgave him for what he had done to her. Malissa, Serenity, her mother, and her stepfather were all supportive and comforting during it all.

She wrote stories about the trial, the women, and even Thomas' abusive childhood that built up the anger, resentment, and violence he portrayed. The paper became even more popular when the stories and testimonies were shared. One evening Ruth burned the midnight oil gathering stories before she went on an overdue vacation with her friends and mother. Spencer watched as she worked effortlessly into the wee hours of the night. He was sorry to hear what she went through and would have beaten Thomas himself if he was there. Spencer could not stand a man putting his hands on a woman no matter what the situation was. 

"Ruth Dawkins, you need to wrap up for the night. You have been working too hard," he explained. Ruth laughed knowing he was serious but she was right where she wanted to be. The writing was her safe place.

"Almost done Sir," She smiled closing up her laptop for the day."Great," he said ensuring she walked out the door. "Congratulations on your bundle of joy," She said. Ruth had heard his new wife had a baby boy. A few months back Spencer came off the market and married the woman he introduced at the staff party. "Thank you," Spencer beamed proudly to be the doting father. As Ruth continued to pack up Spencer stood concerned about her.

"Ruth, are you sure you are okay?" Spencer asked. "I am okay boss," she said preparing to walk out. "Ruth, what happened to you was wrong and unfair. Thomas was a sick and abusive man. It has nothing to do with you. You are a gem. Don't lose yourself after this. Don't close yourself off from love and life," Spencer encouraged her. "You have a lot to offer," Spencer stated. "Thank you for the advice," Ruth said sincerely. "You are valuable and an asset to this company," Spencer. "I am sure there is someone special God has for you," he continued. "You are going to make me cry," Ruth teased appreciating the kindness from her boss. Spencer grinned as Ruth headed out the door. 

New Beginnings

Ruth spent a month with her mother and got the reconnection she needed with the holy spirit. After the failed relationship and abuse she knew needed a conversation with God. After fasting and praying she poured out her heart to God. 

Dear Lord,

It is your daughter Ruth. I am no longer running away from you and the purpose you have for my life. I am depending on you and your word in Jeremiah 29: 11 you know the plans you have for me. Plans to bring good and not evil. I repent Lord for doing it my way. My life is totally yours and may your will be fully fulfilled in my life.

I forgive my abuser, I forgive my father, I forgive every person that has hurt me. I know if I don't forgive you will not forgive me. I know there is a way that seemed right to a man but only destruction follows. Lord, I don't want destruction in my life. I want you. Help me to love myself the way you want me to and lead me to my destiny. Remind me I cannot give love and happiness or depend on someone else for my happiness. 

Your ways and thoughts are higher than my own. Indeed, you know what's best for me because you knew me from my mother's womb. Teach me the process to wait and trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding. I acknowledge you in all my ways.

So at this moment, I am a new creature in Christ. I am not going in halfway but all the way. I give all of me to you and decree and declare I am a Christian, disciple, and follower of Christ. I know greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I will wait for the right man you have designed for me. 

Holy Spirit let me hear your voice and finally listen so I can walk in discernment and knowledge. My life will never be the same. It will be better because I choose you.

After Ruth prayed she meditated on scripture and listened to the Holy Spirit in her heart and finally understood what she was doing wrong all these years. She cried and listened to that inner voice revealing the problem and giving the solution. God answered.

Dear Ruth,

It's me your father in heaven. I have always loved you and wanted what was best for you. Never doubt my love. You are my sheep and my child. I have connected to you from childhood to this present date. In fact, you were a part of my creation story from the beginning even before you came down to this earth.

Going forward trust me in every area of your life. I will do exceedingly and abundantly above all you may ask or think. Caleb and Thomas were never the men I intended for your life. You were unequally yoked with these men. That is why it never worked out. The man I have for you will cherish you and love you unconditionally. He will love you the way you deserved.

Your life is about to take a different path. It is the path of your original destiny. Get ready for new things because the work I have started for you will be completed. All this time I was waiting for you. Now that you are completely surrendered get ready for your new beginning, changes, and surprises. Your life will bring much happiness, peace, and warmth. Simply have faith to believe!

Ruth was stunned after the revelation and thanked God. She felt good in her spirit and knew that all things were working for her good and was excited for the changes that were to come.