Disadvantageous

Chapter 2

Can you believe that bloody arsehole? John texted Lydia as the cabbie carried him and Mary from the last cafe he had assaulted Sherlock in.

Lydia, who was just getting home, frowned at the message and wondered if he meant perhaps to text someone else. She and John rarely talked anymore, she probably reminded him too much of Sherlock.

As the thought of the detective passed through her mind, she had to inhale deeply to keep her emotions from spiralling. It had just been the two year anniversary and she was still not over his death. Yes, she had Liam now and he was wonderful, but he just wasn't Sherlock. But she had to be content with the little time they had shared together and be grateful that she had been able to experience a love like that at least once in her life.

Who's an arsehole? She finally replied, figuring that he would just send back that he had hit the wrong contact or something.

But to her surprise, he replied with a name, one that she had been trying to avoid for two years.

Sherlock

John, I know it's been hard for you and believe me it's been hell for me as well, but you have to try to move on. I thought you had accepted his death, Mary's been so proud of how far you come

Mary was really the only way Lydia really knew about anything going on in John's life. It was through her that she could check up on her friend and try to offer what little support she could. Just as she had Liam, John now had Mary. But while he had cut himself off from everyone else, Lydia didn't know how she would have made it through everything if it hadn't been for her friends and family.

No, Lydia, he's alive, John texted back, causing Lydia to freeze, wondering if she had misread the message or if John was insane. They had seen him jump, Sherlock was dead. But John doubled down, asking, has he not been to see you yet?

No, I haven't heard from him. John, are you sure it was him? I mean we saw him jump, how can he still be alive?

He faked his death apparently. I can't believe he hasn't told you yet, I would've thought you'd have been the first person he'd announce his return to. Do me a favour and sock him for me when he comes by though, would you?

Oh I'm not even going to wait for him to come over here, that bastard

Lydia slipped her mobile back in her pocket and looked over at Liam, "I'm so sorry, but John just texted me and I-I have to go."

"Of course, is everything alright?" Liam asked, concern etched across his face.

Lydia shook her head, "honestly, I've got no bloody clue. But I'm sure I won't be long, just, er, just take care of everything, would you? Thanks, Liam, I really don't know what I'd do without you."

After placing a peck on his cheek, Lydia hurried out the door of their flat and immediately hailed a cab, no longer fully thinking about her actions. Should she have told her fiancé that she was going to see her dead boyfriend who was apparently still alive? Probably. But at this point she couldn't fully believe that John was telling her the truth. Perhaps someone had gotten a hold of his mobile and this was some sort of mean prank.

"Where to, Miss?" The cabbie asked as she slid into the back seat.

She took in a shaky breath and met his gaze in the rear view mirror. "221B Baker Street."

The cabbie gave a nod and started off in that direction, trying to make small talk. "You know, that's where a famous detective used to live. Before he jumped off a roof, that is. Poor chap. But I s'pose they always say that it's the geniuses that are actually the crazy ones."

Lydia's fists tightened as she tried to block out the cabbie's words, not needing a reminder of that day, or of Sherlock. The fact that he could still be alive, that he had faked his own death and let those that loved him believe he was dead was overwhelmingly painful. Shouldn't she have been happy that he could still be alive? Is that not exactly what she wanted? Why did it hurt so much to find out that those hopes may have come true?

"You alright back there? You didn't know the bloke, did you?"

Lydia nodded as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat, "yeah, yeah I did. I knew Sherlock."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, miss. I didn't realise. Er, my condolences."

"Thank you," Lydia spoke as the cab fell into silence, the cabbie too afraid to speak and Lydia having no desire to do so.

Her heart began to pick up pace as the cabbie approached the block of flats, the familiar facade coming back into view. She hadn't been back to 221B in almost two years, she had moved out when she realised that healing would require to move away from such a reminder of the one that she lost. But now she steeled herself as she left the cab, requesting that the driver wait for her as it would only take a moment, and marched up to the front door as though she had never left.

The flat was quiet, most of its residents likely already sleeping. Lydia mounted the stairs to her former flat and found the door unlocked, almost immediately confirming what John had told her. After taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and peered inside.

He was standing in the living room, head whipping around when he heard the door open and his eyes widening upon seeing her. She felt immediately overwhelmed seeing him again, finding it a bit difficult to believe her eyes. But as the realisation set in that he was truly standing there, looking only a little worse for wear, she felt the anger rise up inside her again.

"So you are alive," she stated as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

"Lydia, I-" Sherlock began, but he couldn't seem to find the right words to continue.

So she did it for him. "You what? This is where you apologise, Sherlock. Were you even going to tell me that you were back? Why did I have to find out from a bloody text message? You absolute bastard!"

"Lia-"

"Don't Lia me, Sherlock! It's like you purposefully chose your actions in accordance to what would be most painful to me! It's bad enough you had to fake your death, but to then not give John or I even a sign that you were still alive? To wait two bloody years before returning? To tell me that you loved me right before you jumped? Then to show up back here out of the blue and not even have the decency to tell me personally that you'd come back? Do you have any idea what I've gone through the past few years, the guilt that we've all struggled with?"

"Well you seem quite happy now," Sherlock pointed out, trying to retain an air of confidence in himself and his actions while being berated by the woman he had lost.

Lydia followed his gaze to the ring on her finger and her eyes flashed dangerously. "You don't get to use my engagement against me. You were the one who made me believe you were dead. Maybe if you hadn't, I would have waited for you. But I needed to move on and I will not feel guilty for it."

"It's only been two years, don't you think you and Liam are moving a little too fast?"

"Honestly? I probably would have said yes if you had proposed the day you jumped and I hadn't known you for nearly as long. It doesn't take me long to know if someone truly cares about me and if we could make it work."

"And you think we could have worked?"

Lydia took a moment before replying, "I guess we'll never know now, will we? Fuck you, Sherlock."

-

(A/N): And I didn't make you wait for the confrontation, how nice am I? Unfortunately things don't look great for Sherlock and Lydia, engagements really do complicate things, don't they? I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter!