Disadvantageous

Chapter 20

Even though Lydia wished to spend the night anywhere but 221B Baker Street, she soon found herself collapsing on the familiar leather couch. Memories came rushing back to her as she took in the familiar place, trying her best not to think of the last time she had popped by. At least it seemed that Sherlock wasn't actively shooting up anymore, although Lydia couldn't always tell when he was high so that could have been a false observation.

"Would you like anything? Some tea?" Sherlock offered, not quite knowing what to do now that Lydia was sitting in his flat.

She would sleep in John's old room, of course. That would ease some of her discomfort. It wasn't the safest course of action, but it was what she would want. But other than that, Sherlock was lost as to what he could do to make her more comfortable. There wasn't much able to be done to ease the thick tension between them.

But Lydia did politely accept his tea, blowing a ripple across the murky liquid upon accepting it from his hands. Sherlock averted his gaze, starting down at the floor as he shuffled to his chair and took a sip from his own cup.

Finally Sherlock spoke up again, "so you're doing horror now?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, Carrie. Yeah, I was a bit hesitant to go audition, but I certainly wasn't going to turn down a good part. It's only Off-West End, but it is a solid lead," Lydia replied, nervously meeting his gaze as she spoke. Her stomach clenched as she looked into his pale blue eyes. She had almost forgotten how beautiful the different shades of colour were.

After that they fell back into silence until Lydia spoke up, "have you had any interesting cases?"

"Actually, I had an odd one about a week ago," Sherlock replied before launching into a detailed explanation of a triple homicide that had turned out they had each killed each other. Not the most fulfilling conclusion to the case, however Sherlock found that it tied everything neatly up in a little bow.

Lydia listened to him tell the tale in amazement, a familiar warmth filling her. She had missed this too, she realised. Sherlock was so passionate when he spoke, so invested in the cases, and she could hear it in his tone. Not to mention the little details he picked up that others would have missed, all of which he started as obvious clues. Lydia would never call Sherlock humble, but he didn't even understand that what he thought was obvious would have been easily overlooked by most everyone else.

"Amazing," Lydia breathed as Sherlock finally came to the conclusion, the word causing a pleasant feeling in Sherlock's chest.

"Elementary," he shrugged, trying to ignore his feelings. He couldn't afford to fall for her again, not when it was clear that their relationship wouldn't work out. Not to mention the danger he would be putting both her and Willow in. But the problem was that he wasn't falling for her again, he had simply never recovered from when he fell the first time. He was still madly in love, despite how long they had been separated.

"Well, I suppose I should be heading to bed, it's quite late. Thank you for the tea," Lydia finally spoke, standing from the couch and turning towards the kitchen.

Sherlock sprung up from his own chair, quickly crossing over to her, placing his hand on the cup, "let me, you can go get ready for bed."

Lydia's eyes flickered up to his and her breath caught in her throat. She tried to give a nod and escape upstairs, where it would no doubt be easier to ignore her feelings, but her body refused to move. She stood there, frozen, gazing up at the man she loved, wanting nothing more than to capture those pink lips in a kiss.

Sherlock didn't miss how Lydia's gaze flickered to his lips, finding it a struggle not to lean in and capture hers in his own. Instead, his free hand moved up to caress the side of her face, Sherlock noticing how her breathing quickened as her body leaned closer to his. It was a losing battle the two of them were fighting as their thoughts began to melt away and all that was left were their bodies aflame with passion.