Disadvantageous

Chapter 9

Lydia averted her gaze as she watched the photographer corral together Mary, John, Sherlock, and Mary's maid of honour, Janine. Even at her distance, it was not hard to read the signs of attraction that Janine was exuding, even if Sherlock was oblivious to them. Not that that should have mattered, Sherlock could go out with whomever he pleased, why should it matter to her?

"Mummy?" Willow asked, tugging lightly on her mother's arm.

Thankful for the distraction from Janine and Sherlock, Lydia crouched beside her and asked, "what is it, darling?"

"I did good today?"

Lydia broke out into a large smile as she brushed some of Willow's loose hair behind her ear, "you were the best flower girl I've ever seen."

Satisfied with that answer, she turned to where the happy couple were finally finishing up their photographs. The young girl then asked, "picture with daddy too?"

"Of course, I'll see if I can't get the photographer to come over with us when we go over to congratulate Uncle John and Aunt Mary."

Lydia scooped Willow up in her arms and slowly headed in the direction that everyone else was, congregating to pass by the newlyweds on their way into the hall for the reception. Mary and John stood in a queue with Sherlock and Janine, gratefully accepting all of the congratulations and hugs from each of their guests.

After following in suit with the other guests and speaking with the bride and groom, Lydia turned to Sherlock, who gave Willow a small smile. Lydia beckoned the photographer over and asked Sherlock, "you wouldn't mind a quick picture with Willow, would you? I know you're not a huge fan of photos, but she really wanted one."

Sherlock gave a nod, although she noticed how he tensed up. However, he relaxed slightly as Willow was transferred into his arms and she gave him a beaming smile. His lips twitched upwards unconsciously as he looked down at his daughter, still not quite believing that he had played a part in creating her. Part of his genetic code made up hers, crazier still was the idea that the more time she spent with him, the more she would pick up on his mannerisms and behaviors. He could already see it happening in the way she observed her surroundings with a keen eye, how she constantly strived to learn more, to satiate her thirst for knowledge. She was, in short, becoming more and more like her father every day.

He was brought back to reality by the feeling of her wet lips on his cheek as she tried to give him a kiss, breaking his smile wider, still completely unaware of the photographer snapping shots of him and Willow. Lydia thanked the photographer as he turned to leave and gave Sherlock a large smile, glad to see him so happy.

Leaning in so that John and Mary would not overhear her, "you can keep Willow with you, if you'd like. Having her in your arms may help ward off hugs and I know Mary's friends can be quite touchy."

Sherlock gave a nod as Lydia pulled away, ignoring the glare she was receiving from Janine for having gotten so close to the man she was trying to ensnare. Instead she focused on Sherlock, who mouthed the words "thank you," and gave him a small smile in response.

"Do you want to stay with daddy for a bit, Willow?" Lydia turned to her daughter. "You can come back to me during the reception, but this way you can spend some time with both of us."

Willow nodded enthusiastically and wrapped her arms around Sherlock, leaning her head against his shoulder. Assured that her daughter would be safe with Sherlock, Lydia turned to the next person in the queue: Janine.

Quickly summoning a kind facade, Lydia smiled, "Janine, you look absolutely gorgeous."

"Thank you, Lydia, you as well. You can almost pull off that ridiculous bow," Janine replied, not covering her distaste nearly as well as Lydia.

But Lydia laughed off Janine's backhanded compliment and agreed, "hey, Mary had to make one bad decision somewhere in planning this wedding. But I'm holding up the queue so I best be off, see you inside!"

With that, Lydia quickly hurried into the reception hall, glad to be rid of Janine. She knew she shouldn't feel as jealous as she did, but her heart would not listen to reason. Even after she had tried so hard to quash the amorous feelings towards Sherlock that remained permanently etched in her heart, she found her still protective over him, fearing to lose that which was not hers in the first place.

Sherlock dropped Willow off at Lydia's table when the four main members of the wedding party finally came in, then took his seat at the front table. The ceremony passed in a typical fashion, or rather as typical as it could be when Sherlock Holmes had been invited. After causing Lydia's heart to swell with his kind words towards John and Mary, Sherlock soon phased into detective mode. Lydia noticed it immediately and tensed, unsure the severity of the crime he was solving in the midst of his speech.

But when his eyes flickered over to hers in fear upon his realisation that someone in the room was going to be murdered, Lydia quickly understood that she and Willow could be in danger. However she did not outwardly panic, not wanting to cause others to catch on to the thoughts inside Sherlock's head the way she had.

But it all worked out in the end, although only after a bit of chaos swept over the reception hall. Thankful that Sherlock had come to the rescue and allowed the incident to pass without anyone dying, Mary and John continued with their wedding celebrations while waiting for the offender to be arrested and sent away.

Lydia herself had brought Willow out to the dance floor, hoping that it would keep the young girl from realising anything bad had happened. She was incredibly observant and had been a little on edge, but relaxed as her mum carried her through a waltz. Lydia hoped to find Sherlock to give him a chance to dance with their daughter, she knew he would love the opportunity.

"Willow, do you want to go see if we can find daddy? Maybe he can dance with you, too."

Willow nodded enthusiastically and Lydia placed her down on the ground, taking her small hand as she led them out of the main hall.

As they made their way through the building, Lydia heard the sounds of quiet talking from down the hall, causing her to take a detour out of curiosity. Perhaps a part of her recognised the male voice, even at the great distance, and ushered her forward. But whatever reason it was that caused her to walk towards the voice, she soon found herself standing in front of Sherlock and Janine in each other's arms as Sherlock led her in a waltz.

Lydia's mind went back to when it had been her in Sherlock's arms, remember how safe she had always felt there. Even if they barely knew each other and were stuffed in a tiny hotel room or if they were breaking into her boss's mansion to bring down the Rose Foundation. Sherlock had always been able to ground her in those surprisingly strong arms of his.

As he spun Janine around, Sherlock caught sight of Lydia standing in the threshold to the room, causing him to slow to a stop. Lydia must have realised that Sherlock had seen her, and quickly tried to come up with a cover story.

A blush creeping over her cheeks, she hastily lied, "I'm terribly sorry for interrupting, we were actually just looking for the toilets and I must have been turned around."

Sherlock, for once, was not convinced by her lie, however for her sake he went along with it. He pointed back the way she and Willow had come and directed, "head down the hallway and then take a left, they should be on your right."

Desperate to save some of her dignity, Lydia quickly nodded and muttered a thanks before turning back and leading Willow away. But as she did so, she felt a wave of emotion washing over her. Sherlock had looked so comfortable in Janine's arms, it had reminded her so much of how he had looked while dancing with her. So it was true then, Sherlock was moving on, finding someone new to love in the form of Janine.

It didn't matter how much Lydia tried to remind herself that she shouldn't care about Sherlock's love life, she knew she was still head over heels for him. And seeing him with another woman, even engaging in such an innocent activity as dancing at a wedding, broke her heart and made her curse herself for ever letting him go.

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(A/N): Oof I'm a little late posting this (actually quite a bit late) but I've been dealing with some stuff recently so I just haven't been able to find the time nor the mental energy to write or revise, but here is the chapter at last! It's mostly just Lydia realising what she has let go as she continues to fight a losing battle, but I hope you enjoy!