Disadvantageous

Chapter 8

Lydia continued trying to fight her growing feelings for Sherlock, to no avail. But it was a bit easier now that she did not have to spend so much time with him while making sure he knew how to properly care for a toddler. After his first successful night with Willow, the two had devised a schedule of who was getting her when. Now all they had to see of each other was in the moments where they traded her off.

Willow seemed quite content with the arrangement, fitting right in at 221B and happy to be spending time with her father, who did have a bit of a habit of spoiling her. But being with her mother was where she always felt safest, having grown up in her comforting embrace.

The young toddler had to also get used to other new people besides her father. Since Sherlock's return and John's subsequent kidnapping, John and Sherlock had come to terms on what had happened and became friends once again. By extension, that meant that Mary was also over at 221B quite frequently and she absolutely adored spending time with Willow.

Mary and Lydia also became quite friendly as well, often meeting up together to chat, with or without their fiancés. They could speak freely of the struggles they had in preparing for marriage, although Mary and John were progressing on that front far more than Lydia and Liam who were happy with a longer engagement after their whirlwind relationship in the beginning. And Lydia could help prepare Mary for having a child of her own, a life Mary had never envisioned for herself, but one she found herself now wanting.

"So what do you think about this colour for the bridesmaids dresses? I think John prefers a deep blue but I must confess I am a bit partial towards the lilac and perhaps a slightly deeper shade for my maid of honour to set her out from the rest of the party?" Mary asked, handing Lydia a view pictures of potential dresses. "Hmm, perhaps the bows are a bit much here."

"No, I think they're actually quite lovely. And this shade goes perfectly with who I know you are considering for your bridesmaids. Have you finalised your list yet?"

"Well, that was actually something I wanted to discuss with you. I know we haven't known each other for long, but you've honestly grown to be a bit like a sister to me in that time. I was wondering if perhaps you would like to be my maid of honour?"

Lydia was taken aback by her friend's proposal, having never anticipated it coming. After all, Mary had so many friends and Lydia was sure she was much closer to them than she was to her. She had thought Mary was only turning to her to help plan the wedding simply because she was so close to John.

Finally Lydia found words as she struggled, "Mary, I am truly honoured that you would think of me. I mean, it has been so wonderful getting to know you and planning your wedding has actually gotten me quite excited for my own. But I just want to make sure that you are not simply choosing me because of my relationship with John. The maid of honour is for you to chose someone you care deeply about, John's already got the best man he can choose."

Suddenly a wave of realisation washed over Lydia as she spoke. Without giving Mary a chance to respond to her initial thoughts, Lydia continued, "John's going to ask Sherlock to be his best man, isn't he?"

Mary nodded, "he's over there right now. Don't know how Sherlock will take it, to be honest. But it was the obvious choice for John. And I want to assure you that I want you as my maid of honour not simply because John thinks of you as a sister, but because I feel the same."

"Thank you, Mary. This really means the world to me, but I better not accept. I'm honoured, I really am, but I would be quite content simply being one of your bridesmaids, if I haven't offended you enough to make you reconsider that offer." Lydia swallowed nervously, hoping that she wasn't hurting Mary's feelings too much. But she couldn't do it, not if Sherlock was going to accept the role of best man.

As though reading her thoughts, Mary sighed, "it's because of Sherlock, isn't it?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Lydia, even for an actor, you can't hide your feelings away from me. I see the way that you look at him and, because of that, how quickly you rush out the door when you see him, hoping avoid your feelings."

Lydia desperately tried to salvage what little dignity she had left as she argued, "Mary, I'm engaged. Yes, I loved Sherlock when we were together, but that was a long time ago. Things have changed."

"But the heart doesn't always follow what the brain tells it to."

"When did you become such a philosopher?" Lydia teased, though mostly as an attempt to distract Mary from the discovery that she still had feelings towards Sherlock.

However, that plan clearly did not work because Mary continued, "so it is because of Sherlock then? You do not wish to be my maid of honour if he is John's best man?"

"It's not as simple as that, but it would probably be for the best if I remained a less prominent member of your wedding party. It's not that I do not trust myself or him, it's just that there is often a bit of public pressure for the best man and maid of honour to hook up and I don't want us to fall prey to what society will suspect of us, especially with our history."

The lie would have been easily hidden from anyone else except for Mary. But with her keen eye, she knew exactly what was going on with Lydia. But at the same time she knew that Lydia would never admit her true feelings aloud. Perhaps she thought that by not stating them verbally she could pretend that they did not exist.

But Mary did offer a bit of advice, "it's ok if you don't want to admit it to me, Lydia. But know this: if you really do still have feelings for Sherlock, then you need to be upfront with Liam about it. You two might be able to work it out, but you are not protecting him by withholding the truth. Having secrets is only going to hurt your relationship."

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(A/N): So Mary knows, any chance she might go and play matchmaker? Or is Lydia far too stubborn for that? This was a bit of a filler chapter, but I wanted to strengthen the relationship a bit between Mary and Lydia, so I hope you enjoyed!