Disadvantageous

Chapter 10

"We really ought to pick a date if we want to get married this fall," Lydia sighed as Liam entered the room, his face falling slightly as he noticed the papers she had sprawled all over the table.

"I thought we were going to put this on hold for a bit longer, considering how much our lives are changing with me leaving Les Mis."

"I know, it's just that with Mary's wedding and everything, I've just had it on my mind. Besides, they seem to be having so much fun on their honeymoon and I can't help but long for a bit of time away from the city, where it can just be you and me. No work, no kids, just us."

Lydia stood from her seat as she spoke, wrapping her arms around Liam's neck as she leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek. He smiled in response, "well, Willow's at Sherlock's tonight and you did promise we'd go out to celebrate finishing my run in Les Mis. It may not be an extended period of time for us just to enjoy ourselves, but at least it will be something."

"And I will treasure every moment that I can get," Lydia replied, stepping away from Liam so that she could grab her purse. "Shall we get going, then?"

The dinner they shared went well, or rather as well as the time they spent together seemed to go nowadays. Ever since Sherlock had come back to the land of the living, a strain had been placed on their relationship, no matter how hard Lydia fought to keep her feelings for Sherlock buried deep down. But little hesitations here and there, lingering a bit too much onto mentions of Sherlock, and quick defensiveness when Sherlock was brought up in conversation between she and Liam assured Liam that she wasn't quite over the detective.

As the dinner came to a close, Liam took a sip of his wine and glanced uncertainly up at his fiancée. She was oblivious to this, her gaze pulled outside, watching the passerbys. She and Sherlock had used to play a game where they would deduce those walking by during their dates, and she had found herself continuing it even after he had jumped off the roof. It had started as a way to sharpen her skills so she could help more on cases, but Lydia had found herself rather enjoying it, especially when she was able to pick up on details and Sherlock gave her that look of pride.

Realising that Lydia was lost in her own world, Liam cleared his throat and started, "Lydia, I was wondering if we could talk about something."

She turned curiously towards her fiancé, a bit confused by the sudden seriousness of the atmosphere. Hoping to help ease Liam into whatever he had to say, she placed her hand atop his and replied, "of course, darling, what's on your mind?"

"Liddy, you know I love you and this past year and a half has been one of the bests I've ever known."

Though still a bit concerned, Lydia smiled as she interrupted, "I've felt the same, Liam. I never thought I'd be as happy as I am now, especially after everything that had happened."

"But that's just the thing. I didn't want to go out to dinner simply to celebrate my final performance in Les Mis, I wanted one final dinner between the two of us."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"I mean, it's clear that this isn't what you really want, Liddy. And that's ok, I understand, I just don't think you should have to go on pretending."

"Liam, I don't know what you're talking about."

Liam gave her a sad smile, "yes, you do, love. It's not that I think you don't care about me, I know you do. It's just that you care about him more. Or perhaps not more, but it's certainly a different kind of love. Call it soulmates, call it whatever, but what you share with him, we could never experience that between ourselves."

"You're not taking about Sherlock, are you? Liam, I promise that nothing's going on between us."

"I know that, I know that you would never cheat on me. But I also know that you still love him, whether you want to or not. I want you to be happy, Liddy, and it's clear that you belong with him. You shouldn't have to push away your feelings because you feel guilty for loving him. So that is why I want to free you to do whatever you wish."

"Liam-"

"Don't argue, Liddy, I've seen the way you look at him, the fondness in your expression whenever your thoughts linger on him. And I am grateful simply for the time that we had together. But I think we both know that if we had truly been ready to get married, we would be married already. I'd reckon to guess that the only reason you are so concerned with the wedding now is because you are realising how much you still care for Sherlock and you consider our marriage a shield to protect you from that love."

Lydia's gaze dropped to the table, uncertain how to respond. He was right, of course, she had hoped to get married quickly to try to put an end to her wandering heart. She just hadn't anticipated that Liam would know exactly what she had been trying to do.

"Liam, I have been trying, this isn't fair to you. And I still care for you, I do."

"I know you do and I'm telling you that it is ok. What you and Sherlock had, that's not something we could have ever reached and that's ok. I still value the time we had together and I'm hoping that we can part as friends who grew alongside each other until realising that it was time to move on."

"You have done so much for me, helped me more than I can ever repay you for. It seems cruel now that you have to be the one to lose a chance at love simply because my heart is still locked in a relationship of my past. Liam, I am willing to continue fighting my feelings for him and remain by your side, if that is what you want."

Liam shook his head, smiling sadly, "I could never ask you to do such a thing, Lydia. What I want is for you to be happy. If you were to go on pretending you weren't in love with another, it would just put strain on our relationship. You would turn miserable and in turn I would be as well. So let's bypass that unpleasant result and fix this situation now. Go back to Sherlock and I will move on to whoever is waiting for me out there."

As he spoke, Liam extended his hand, placing it palm up above the table. Drawing in a shaky breath as she wondered if what she was doing was right, Lydia carefully pulled the engagement ring off of her finger and placed it in Liam's palm. His fingers curled around it and he gave her an encouraging nod, his warm gaze assuring her that he was not hurt by her decision to stop fighting her heart.

Liam stood from his seat and Lydia followed in suit, grabbing her coat from the back of the chair. Leaning in to kiss her cheek, Liam spoke, "I wish you and Sherlock all the best."

"Take care of yourself, Liam. And thank you."

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(A/N): And the engagement is off! So now everything will work out between Sherlock and Lydia, right? I hope you enjoyed this chapter!