Sunflowers and Lillies

𝟙𝟞

A week had passed. And right now it was the weekend, I hadn't slept for the past 48 hours; every time I closed my eyes her face would pop up, spouting profanities at me and whispering grief-stricken words.

I hadn't seen Nick the whole week. Neither had Lilah or Alex. He had been absent the past five days and when Alex tried to contact him his phone was off; we had arranged to go see him tomorrow.

So you can imagine my surprise when I found him sitting patiently on my doorstep as I arrived from my seventh walk this day. My hands were tucked into my coat, my skin tingled frozen, and my breath coming out white with the cold air.

He looked up as I approached, hair messed up and mused. He didn't say anything until I was in front of him and when I glimpsed his features something flashed in me.

He looked like I had looked ... the first day after she ... died.

His skin was pale, so pale, it almost bordered on white. Whatever glow he had from last week it was completely wiped. His eyes weren't the whiskey I knew and had shuddered down into a dark oak, sad and tired. Eyebags, blue and purple, drew underneath his eyes, filling in his sunken cheeks. And his lips were such a pale pink, pale, and chapped. A small stubble had formed around his usually clean-cut jaw and his Adam's apple bobbed ever so slightly like he was trying with all his might not to break down.

He was shivering, I realized with a frown. "Nick?"

He gulped, and it looked like it took all his strength to get it down. "Liz," his voice was such a whisper. "I—I'm—"

"Shh," I hushed him and quickly grabbed his arm, trying to lead him up. "Let's get inside first. Your freezing. Come on."

He followed me, almost dazed, my grip on his arm tightened and I led him inside the house, closing the door behind us. I left him to go quickly turn the heater on and returned, he had taken his coat off when I did.

"Nick?" I asked when he didn't notice my approach. His eyes snapped to mine, and he shook his head, trying to snap out of his haze. "Nick, what's wrong?"

His jaw clenched, "I—I shouldn't have come, never mind." He grabbed his coat again but I hurried to him, lifting a hand to stop his arm.

I grabbed his hand and gently lowered it, looking up into his eyes. "Nick, you're worrying me. What's wrong?

His eyes looked down at me, glancing at me with such a sadness I almost felt my heart rip in two. "I—I wanted ... I just wanted someone. A friend."

"Hey," I started softly, still holding onto his hand. His eyes flickered down at our hands and then back up at me. "I'm a friend. We can talk if you want ... or if you need a hug."

"No talking," he shook his head. "Can we just—can we do something? Anything."

"Ok," I nodded, my voice still soft. "We can do whatever you like."

"Just take me somewhere," he whispered. "Please."

I grabbed his coat and handed it to him, pulling my own on. I grabbed his hand again and interlaced his fingers with mine, passing him a smile. "I know a place."

I pulled him out of the house and closed the door behind us. I knew that the better option would've been to drive, but Nick looked like he needed to work whatever had happened out. So I held his hand the whole time we walked, leading him down the streets and past the hills; we didn't speak at all, letting a cold silence settle over us.

My nose had turned pink with the cold when we reached and Nick looked up at the metal gates, flimsy wires strutting out of them. He frowned, confused, and looked over at me. I shrugged and made him follow me to where a small opening had been ripped. I slid into it and gestured for Nick to do the same.