Sunflowers and Lillies

𝟙𝟜

"Liz!" I jolt and tumble out of my desk chair. I think I had fallen asleep doing homework ...

I fall on the ground with a hard thud and when I move to get up I bang my head on the desk table. Fucking hell. I rub the back of my head but I don't have time to worry about the pain because I'm worrying about something else.

Who the fuck was in the house?

I get up, making sure to dodge the desk this time and grab the bat from under my bed before opening the door of my room warily. I gulp and take one step down the stairs, my steps scared and carefully. My feet are near silent as I start to reach the threshold.

"Lizzy!"

I yelp, and stumble down the last stair, and then push myself up and start to swing the bat around blindly. "Get out! Get out! I'll call 911!"

"Woah," wait—I recognize that voice. "It's us, Liz."

I calm down my frantic swinging and peek one of my eyes open to glimpse my dad, trailing after him my mom. They're in their business clothes, dad in a button-up shirt and trousers, and mom in a pencil skirt and silk blouse.

"Oh," I blow out a breath, my heart still beating rapidly, and let the bat fall down to my sides. "You."

The air quickly turns tense between us, and Dad and Mom's gazes immediately dart to the floor when I look up at them. My heart pangs, with hurt and I gulp down a painful lump. "How was—the trial?"

"It was good," mom bends down to take off her heels. "We won."

Dad's eyes are on his shirt sleeve as he fiddles with the buttons, "we wanna go out to dinner tonight. Celebrate. There's this new restaurant downtown: really fancy."

I clench my jaw, their eyes meet mine for a moment and dart away the next. "And after that? How long are you staying?"

Mom's voice is soft, the one she used to use to comfort me. Now, all it does is pick at my anger. "Not long, sweetie. We have to catch another flight tomorrow morning. Toronto."

They didn't move to hug me after they finished their fiddling. They kept their distance. I tried to keep my voice hard, but it was small and sad. They didn't notice it though. "I have a lot of studying to do. Maybe after Toronto."

"Come on, Lizzy," dad crosses his arms, still not meeting my eyes. "We've been gone for a month. I think studying can wait one or two hours."

"Yeah," I force myself to stare right at him. Trying to get him to just look at me. "You have been gone for a month. I've been here alone for a month. I think I can last another one or two hours without you."

"Liz," my mom heats up, simmering anger beneath her cheeks. "What have we said about using that tone? Go up to your room. Clearly, we were wrong to invite you with us."

I expect to feel anger at her words. But instead, I only feel hurt. Really, really, hurt. "Have fun at your dinner," my voice is so small now. It's almost a whisper.

They turn away from me with angry and betrayed eyes. And they don't even realize I don't go up to my room. I just head straight to the door.

As my feet take me to where I always go when they come back, I try to reason with myself. I was after all the one who denied going with them in the first place. I shouldn't feel hurt because they disinvited me. I didn't want to go in the first place. Right?

My emotions swirl inside me and I don't know what to feel, hurt, angry, sad, hate. I feel tears start to fall and I hate myself for it. Why am I even crying?