Everybody tells me I have to believe
The bad feelings will go away eventually
I try, but I swear, it always seems
Like it comes to them so easily
And I'm stuck at the part where I pretend I'm happy
But I'm waiting for it to get better for me
It's a weird feeling to know exactly what you want. This exact feeling of finally knowing what I want has been browsing through my mind a lot lately. I felt like I was becoming more at peace.
After we met together at the restaurant, Kendrick and I only got closer. He made me feel so good, better than I had felt in a long, long time. Even the tension at work together with Ryder didn't bother me that much anymore. I now finally felt like I had control of the situation between us both. But nonetheless I was getting tired of this whole situation.
Kendrick had pushed me into this exact direction without letting himself get in the way of what I wanted. I admired that in him, he was almost selfless. But whenever he guided me through rough patches he always made sure I was completely okay with everything. I wondered how he was so good at this, he really had a feeling for people. That's probably why he started working at the elderly home in town. He was amazing working with them.
I was laying in bed letting my thoughts run through my head as I listened to my favorite music. Music helped me sleep, a tip from Kendrick. It would help with drowning out every single thought before sleep. Slowly dozing away to my favorite Arctic Monkeys album I was startled by the sudden ringing of my phone.
"Hello?" My voice probably sounded groggy as I answered without looking at the callers ID.
"Hi my favorite sleepyhead." Kendrick low voice came through.
I smiled, looking at the time. "I mean its 12.30pm what did you expect?"
"That you would've been sound asleep by now. What kept you up this late?" He sounded concerned, he literally was so caring, always.
"I was just thinking," I mumbled, "About stuff.."
"About me, am I right?" He chuckled, not even knowing how close he was to the truth.
I hesitated, my teeth sank into my bottom lip as I debated whether or not I should be honest with him.
"You're right, I was." I finally spoke up, "Especially how you changed my life for the better."
It remained silent for a bit on the other side of the line.
"I did?" He sounded unsure, as if he didn't really want to believe me.
"You did. Trust me." I assured him, letting him know I wouldn't lie about things like this. "So, why'd you call?"
"I just came home from my shift at work and I missed your voice." He stated, simple as that.
Even though what he said wasn't something new, it made my cheeks heat up immediately. I hid a yawn as I replied.
"Well-" I bit my inner cheek, "Here I am."
"I heard." He chuckled, his low voice creating butterflies in me. "But I'm gonna let you sleep right now, you sound tired and we both have to work tomorrow."
"Okay Ken, goodnight." My eyes indeed feeling drowsy.
"I miss you Ev, please take care.", was the last thing I heard before dozing off into a peaceful sleep.
-
"Hey." I greeted Ryder as I walked into the office the next afternoon. I just came in from a customer of ours. He needed help with some of his financial stuff at home and I offered to do it for him.
A flash of surprise crossed his face as he looked up from his laptop. "Hey, hi."
Putting my jacket away I sat down next to him and logged in on my laptop. Ready to start working without glancing twice towards him.
The day probably had been slow because the whole afternoon only one customer had came in and Ryder had helped him. We usually closed up around 5.30pm and worked on our computers till 6pm. Administration and e-mails usually didn't get finished throughout the day.
As we both worked in silence for a while he suddenly pushed his chair back in an almost aggressive manner. He scraped his throat, causing me to look up at him.
"Uh- I- Everly, can we talk?" He asked, leaning against the doorway, looking away from me, fiddling with a piece of paper.
Turning my chair around to face him, I remained silent, waiting for him to meet my eyes.
"What's up?" I finally asked.
"I- I don't even know how to start this." He awkwardly laughed as he rubbed his neck. And then as in a trance he started speaking.
"I am sorry for acting like that. I really am. You don't have to forgive me, hell you can still hate me but please know I'm sorry."
At a loss for words I stared at him, the whole time the atmosphere here had been this distancing, cold feel. And now the whole atmosphere seemed to shift.
"You seem to be doing a whole lotta apologizing when we talk." I noticed, rubbing my forehead.
Ryder positioned himself in front of me, on the chair, again. "I know. And it's definitely not something I'm proud of, but you deserve my apologies for everything I've made you go through. I have been the worst and I will never be able to make up for all the lost time."
Remaining silent I scanned his face. He was genuine, I could see it in his eyes.
Letting out a sigh through my nose I slowly extended my hand. "I accept your apology. Honestly, I do still need some time on forgiving you but I am tired of feeling like this, I'm tired of being held back by this. I want to be able to move forward. So I want to start working on healing. We both were young back then and still aren't adults now either. We both made mistakes and will continue making these in the future. Let's move on from those mistakes and leave these things in the past. But we've gotta be honest with each other from now on. About everything."
A smile made its way onto his face as he grabbed my hand and shook it. "Thank you."
--
A/N: hi! Please vote and leave a comment :)
YOU ARE READING
A Reckless Bet.
Teen Fiction"I loved knowing she was scared of me. My insides were hurting from all the build up anger. It was all her fault. It was her fault my life was a mess. Her fault that I was a mess." They fell apart because of a mistake. Would they ever get to heal? ...
