A Reckless Bet.

Ryder 18.2 - obsession can be overcome

wednesday 9.23pm

"Bruh Ryder, you're literally such a dick." Cameron announced as soon as he found me.

I was sitting on the bench-swing in my parents back yard, my head in my hands while slowly swinging back and forth.

Rolling my eyes I raised my head. "I know, right."

"Dude c'mon. You're still acting like a 12 year old towards her." He sighed, clearly not fond of this whole situation. "I don't know what you're on but I thought you were getting past this."

I leaned back against the back rest of the bench, making room for Cameron to sit down. His face was full of question but he didn't say anything anymore.

I slowly rolled my tongue past my teeth, a comforting habit. Tugging at my hair I tried to sort out my thoughts. It felt like one giant cloud had entered my brain and left me all foggy from the inside.

"Me too. Honestly." I mumbled, not even bothering to make sure he heard me. "I thought so too."

"What made you snap? You were clearly working on getting over it."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "I tried, ya know, I tried getting over her. But today, I don't know what happened. Maybe its the fact its Kendrick."

He narrowed his eyes, "Okay, okay wait, so you're saying you actually don't like him for her? While you always trusted him with your whole heart. What happened between you guys?"

"Ya know, it's just that he got her. I think thats all." I whispered, not daring to look at him. "Its that he knows I wanted her but still got her."

"Now wait a minute, are you jealous? You're saying this is just jealousy?" He sounded so surprised as if I had just told him penguins swim in hot lava when they're cold.

I fiddled with my fingers. "I guess. But he knows how shitty I've been treating her for the last few years. He resents me for that. I don't blame him though."

"My god. You're ruining her experience with him just because you can't contain your jealousy." He let out a breathy bitter laugh, "Just because you're jealous. Dude, you're a joke."

I couldn't necessarily say I was offended by his words, I knew I deserved to be laughed at. So many things I've done wrong had been going on for too long. There had to be a time that someone started letting me see the truth.

"You are obsessed with her Ry, obsessed."

I nodded, there was no need in denying something so truthful.

"You have an unhealthy obsession with someones girlfriend. Honestly, how absurd does that sound Ryder. Huh? Doesn't that sound fucking crazy to you?"

"What did you want to tell me? The thing you called me for." I interrupted him, tired of his harsh words.

He raised a brow, "You're fucking unbelievable. Do you ever listen to what I say?"

"Clearly. I just don't happen to be in a position where I care about the things people have to say about me."

"As I was saying, you have an unhealthy obsession thats not only damaging to her but also mostly to yourself. You need to move on. It's not your place to tell Everly who would be good for her. Be grateful for a place as her friend, she's way too good for this earth."

A silence fell upon us as I processed his words.

"I was gonna tell you that I'm moving." He then dropped the bomb.

I suddenly sat up straight. "You're kidding? Where are you moving?"

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly nervous. "I'm most definitely not kidding. Just signed the lease for my apartment in Sudbury this morning."

My eyes widened, "Sudbury? That far away?"

He shrugged, "Coming back to your own problem I used to have an almost dangerous crush on someone too. It was almost an obsession, but it couldn't evolve the way it would've if my friend hadn't gotten with her to get back at his own crush."

Was he talking about Zarah? Why didn't I know anything about this, rather how didn't I notice as he usually was super obvious with girls.

"She also happened to get brutally murdered by her dad too. While she deserved all the peace after the hell she went through, she probably has seen the hell her fake boyfriend put her best friend through."

I gritted my teeth at his words. I wish he was lying but none of his words were a lie. It had been more than hell I had put Everly through.

He scoffed, "And to be honest? I hope she didn't see it. Imagine how her heart must've been broken if she had seen it. That's something you wouldn't wish on anyone."

"When I realized there were some things in this town that, of course I'd rather seen them work out, but they didn't work out. That made me decide I'm better off somewhere else.

For me there is nothing left for me in this town. My parents never had time to give me a home here or where they are now. The love of my live got murdered. And the best friend I had left is definitely better off without me too, I always mess up with her. But still, she's the one I'm gonna miss terribly. But she may be better off without me."

I nodded, not being able to say anything right now. His words were all so unexpected but at the same time a weird nostalgic feeling settled upon me. As if I had known this moment would come.

After he'd finished his words, he stood up reaching his hand to grab mine. "Although we finish off different than I ever could've thought we would've, it's still been some of my better years here. Your parents literally cared so much for me, better than my own ever could. I'm gonna miss the hell out of them."

"Take care Ryder, I know you can do better. You will find the love of your life and you can start off fresh with her." He softly spoke, but I knew he meant everything he had said tonight. "And I know this doesn't have to be a goodbye, but for me it is. I need to start completely over again before I can live life wholeheartedly again."

"You've gotta look at the life in front of you, not only behind you."

With these last words he retreated his hand from me and with a last wave he was gone.

Gone into the darkness of the night.