Saturday Sun (GirlxGirl)

Chapter Ten // Realizations

It was a Saturday In may. I was with Cherry, as per usual. We were at the beach. The temperature was perfect - not too cold, not too warm. The moon was reflecting off the ocean. We were sitting on the rocks close to the shore. Cherry was leaning in towards me, her head resting on my shoulder. I was holding her close, stroking her hair. I looked down at her. She looked beautiful in the moonlight. She looked perfect. Almost too perfect. I wanted to lean in and kiss her. That's when it hit me.

I was in love with Cherry Valence.

Oh no, this can't be happening, I thought to myself. I can't be in love with a girl! I accidentally gasped out loud.

"Audrey, is everything all right?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"You just gasped out loud. You never gasp out loud."

"Oh, I think I might have left the oven turned on. That's all."

"Well, I don't want your house to burn down. We're going back to check."

The universe must have been on my side that night. To my surprise, I had actually left the oven turned on.

"I did not think your oven would actually be turned on," said Cherry.

"I guess my intuition is spot-on," I joked.

It was eleven o'clock at that point, so I drove Cherry home. My mind was still racing, but I managed to hide it for that ten-minute car ride. Cherry kissed my hand like she did every week and got out of the car. But that time was different. My heart was thumping out of my chest, my palms were sweaty and my face was red. I drove home. I was lucky I didn't get into a car crash because my mind was focused on everything but the road. I got home and went straight to my room. All I could think about was Cherry.

How could I be attracted to a girl? None of it made sense to me. But at the same time, it did. That was why I was so awkward around girls. I was attracted to them. Intimidated by them. That's why I found it easier to talk to guys. I wasn't intimidated by them. But me realizing this didn't make me accept it. I was just aware of it. And scared of it. I felt like I was going to be sick.

I kept thinking about Cherry. The thought of her sent butterflies flying in my stomach. I didn't know what to do. So I did the one thing I hadn't done in years - I cried. I locked all my doors and cried. It felt like my world was crumbling around me. There was nothing I could do. Cherry was going to find out and then she's going to stop hanging out with me. Then Soda was going to find out and tell all of the gang. Then I'll be banned from ever seeing any of them again. It'll be like the fifth grade all over again. Sad and lonely.

I was crying for a solid hour when I heard a knock on my door. I didn't answer. I heard another knock, and I still didn't answer. A few minutes passed, and nothing. I went back to crying. Then I heard a tap on my window. I assumed it was just a branch, so I opened my curtains, just to confirm. But I was instead met face-to-face with Soda.

Startled, I shut the curtains as quickly as I could. I wanted to be left alone. But at the same time, I didn't. I didn't know anymore.

Soda started banging even harder because he saw my puffy, red eyes. I gave in when he started yelling. I ripped open my curtains and opened my window, letting him in.

I bit my lip to keep myself from crying while Soda climbed in. He sat down on my bed next to me and proceeded to ask questions.

"Is everything okay? Where have you been? You normally come over after, so I was wondering where you were-"