twelve | forgive myself

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AMANDA

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AMANDA

Stopping in front of the wooden doors, the blonde messed around with the beaded bracelet around her wrist. Around midnight, Amanda finally decided that it was time to confront the boys, as much as she was dreading it. The group has had their fair share of arguments in the past, which tend to get resolve in a few hours, but this time felt different, with the possibility that things might not ever be the same between the four of them. Amanda thought back to the time when she first joined the band. For the first time in a long time, the female Mercer felt as if she belonged. She got to do what she loved most with the people she called her family. To loose them because of a stupid decision she made 25 years ago would break her. Worst of all, she hate herself for hurting the boys, the last thing shed ever wanted to do. Her palms became sweaty as Amanda struggled with her inner demons. Ultimately deciding to go for it, the blonde opened the door to find a certain guitarist sitting on the couch, strumming a few chords on his guitar, only to jot a few things into his notebook.

"Hey," Amanda whispered, not wanting to startle the brunt.

"Hey," Luke replied back, his eyes glued to the floor.

"Can I come in?" she asked, messing with her bracelet once more.

"This is your place as much as it's mine," the guitarist muttered. Strolling over to the couch, the blonde took a seat on the armrest of the couch, two feet away from Luke. The soft sounds of the guitar filled the silent room, neither teen knowing what to say.

"Where's Alex?" she continued, wiping her palms on her jeans.

"He's still out, Reggie just went out to find him," he simply muttered, paying no further attention on the girl.

"Luke, I just want to say—I'm sorry," Both teens blurted, taking the other by surprise.

"I'm sorry for being a terrible friend. You were clearly hurting and I should've never pushed you about the note. I-I was so angry and hurt that you were just gonna leave without saying anything," Luke explained, setting his guitar to the side.

"I'm sorry too. You were right, it was pathetic of me to just leave and not tell you at all face to face. I feel like an idiot and a terrible friend," Amanda apologized. For the first time since finding out what the Mercer twin was hiding, Amanda saw the familiar green pair of eyes that always made her day. The same ones that laughed with her, encouraged her, and supported her through thick and thin.

"It's just you leaving us reminded me of," the brunt shakily spoke. Amanda knew exactly what she was talking about and quickly made her way over to embrace him. She could feel his heart starting to quickly, as he tried to steady his breathing. The group knew that the nigh the Patterson boy ran away is a touchy subject that everyone avoided. Amanda couldn't help but feel a pit drop in her stomach. She hated that she was the one who reminded him of the painful last memory he had with his family, with Emily, never getting the chance to see her again, or show her that all their hardworking paid off in the end.

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