The Beginning

Five's a Crowd

"That will be $44.70." I think that's everything Lena wanted me to buy. I grab my wallet out of my purse and give the cashier my credit card. "Have a nice day." I grab the groceries Lena needs to make dessert and head to my car. I don't know why Lena insits on having such a fancy dinner. I know that I'm meeting her parents and all, but why is she stressing over this dinner? Everything will be fine. I'm very loveable. I plop all of the bags in the trunk and head to the driver's seat.

Let me go over everything one more time. I pull out the 'To - Do List' Lena texted me:

1. Eggs - check

2. Sugar - check

3. Flour - check

4. Butter - check

5. Coconut - check

6. Strawberries - check

7. Drop Brandon off at Mike's...

On top of all of my guilt, I feel like I'm hurting Brandon the most. Not only are his parents living in separate houses, but his mother is having an affair with his teacher. To make things worse, I openly refuse to even walk my son to the doorstep of my husband's house in order to avoid contact with him.

-FLASHBACK-

"Mommy, when is daddy going to come home again?" The question I have been avoiding to answer has finally been asked. My head starts swarming for possible answers. Let's see - tomorrow, a week, a month, never. Never?!?!? I love Mike and I don't plan on leaving him... not yet at least.

"I don't know buddy." Might as well start telling him the truth. I should distract him - more like myself. "Are you excited to spend the weekend with your dad?" I look in the rear view mirror to see a little head bobbing up an down. "What are you going to do?"

Brandon starts to excitedly talk about everything he plans to do with his father. As long as my mind is off of Mike, I can focus on other things. Like meeting Lena's parents. As much as I try to hide it, I'm a little nervous. I'm not one to get nervous, especially when meeting people, but there is something different about meeting Lena's parents. I wasn't even anxious when I met Mike's parents and they barely like me. They didn't want me and Mike to get married. We should've listened to them.

I pull up in front of Mike's apartment. "All right Brandon. I want you to go to the door, find your father's name on the intercom, press the button and wait for him to come to the door.Just like we have done it before. Can you do that for me, B?" I turn around in my seat to make sure he has everything.

"You're not coming?" If only he was old enough to understand.

"No buddy. You're a big boy now." I don't want to make him sad. "I won't leave until I know that you're safely in. Okay?" He nods his head. I reach over to give him a kiss on his check. "I love you. Have fun."

I watch him grab all his stuff out of the car and walk to the front door following all my instructions. He's such a good boy and I'm such a terrible mother.

I see Mike open the door and Brandon gives him a hug. Mike says something to him and Brandon points at me. Time to go. I start the ignition and put my car in reverse before we make eye contact. He looks at me with pleading eyes, begging me to take him back. I want to if it would make things easier but I wouldn't be happy, neither would he. I mouth to him 'I'm sorry'.

I need to get out of here. I back up and start driving towards Lena's house.

-FLASHBACK ENDS-

I take a moment to gather all my thoughts as I turn the key to my house. I quietly come in and watch Lena cook. "You know..." She jumps a little and I walk closer to her so that my arms are wrapped around her waist. "you look very sexy when you cook." She turns in my arms to face me while holding a spoon.