The Beginning

A Person You Didn't Know

You know that feeling when the world stops? When everything just stops. You know when you can't breathe or feel your heartbeat any more? The moment I saw my mother at my door, my palms became sweaty, my stomach turned, I couldn't feel my knees and I felt like I was about to faint.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I barely was able to get those six words out.

She just looks at me. "What do you mean? You texted me to come over for dinner. Sorry I'm a little late." She walks past me before I turn around and pull her back, making sure she doesn't enter the kitchen.

What? "I did no such thing." What is she talking about? I made it clear to myself, as well to Lena, that I was not inviting my mom. As upset as Lena was... wait... Lena. Oh my god. She wouldn't have gone behind my back and texted my mom from my phone? Would she - I mean she was really upset. Still, it's Lena - she would never do something like this... unless she did. "Lena. Can you come here for a second?" She walks in and right as she sees my mother, I can see the look of guilt in her eyes. "Did you send a text from my phone to my mom?" I whisper to her.

"Surprise." I feel like I'm being buried alive. "I mean she's already here - might as well have her eat dinner with us." Is she serious right now? Of course she is, this was all a part of her plan.

I just stare at her. Words can't even describe how I feel right now. "I will talk to you later." I turn to my mother. "I guess you are joining us for dinner, mom." An ecstatic Lena skips back to the kitchen. "Can I talk to you for a second?" I pull my mom aside and look straight into her eyes to make sure she understands that I'm being serious. "This dinner is very important to me. Whatever happens you need to promise me that you are not going to mention Mike. Okay? I'm serious right now." I think I'm about to cry from all the anxiety I'm having.

"Okay I won't mention Mike. Calm down." It's not as easy as you think. I'm on the verge of breaking down.

I bring her to the kitchen so that she can meet everyone. "Dana, Stewart this is my mom, Sharon."

As they shake hands and exchange 'Nice to meet you', Lena walks behind me and whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry but I really think everything will be okay." Easy for you to say. You wanted this to happen. "Since everybody is here, let's eat." Okay. Just breathe.

I help Lena bring out the appetizers and another bottle of wine. "Are you crazy? Why would you invite her? I told you that I didn't want her here." I'm trying so hard not to raise my voice. Before she can answer, we walk out to the dining room and I put on a smile to hide my anger.

"More wine?" We're going to need it.

Dana and Stewart take their seats across from me and Lena, and my mom sits at the head of the table on my right side. I pray to God that everything goes well.

I chug my glass of wine and pour myself another. This is going to be a long night. "So, Stef. What made you want to become a police officer?" Time for questioning. Think before you talk.

"Well, my father was a cop. Growing up, his approval meant a lot to me and I always looked up to him. So, since I was a little girl, I wanted to walk in his footsteps." And because I value his opinions so much, he's not here because he would be so disappointed. I look at my mom hoping she won't add anything to what I say.

"If you don't mind me asking, where is your father?" Lena warned me about her mother's bluntness. I thought she would warm up to me first - guess not.

Neither one of my parents were supposed to be here. Just be happy that it's my mom who is here and NOT my dad. "We are divorced." All heads turn to my mom who, up until now, was silent. So close. I was so close.