The Beginning

Heaven Lost an Angel

I forgot how absolutely amazing it is to wake up to Lena in the morning. Waking up next to Lena is like dying, going to heaven and being able to see an angel. Her beauty still amazes me. I hold her tighter in my arms. It suddenly dawns on me that this could be the last time I ever hold her in my arms again. This is so depressing. I'm holding a woman that I absolutely love and adore, and I am about ready to cry. I need to get out of here. I look at Lena one last time, place a kiss on her forehead while playing with her hair and get out of the bed. Once I reach the door, I turn around and watch the sleeping beauty in front of me. She is going to be so devastated when she realizes she has to come back to the agony in this world. I let out a sigh and leave Lena alone to her dreams.

I groggily walk to the kitchen and yawn as I slowly make my way to the coffee machine. Even though I am tired as hell, last night was the best sleep I have ever had. Something about being next to Lena and just being able to feel her body against mine is soothing. Not to mention how her intoxicating scent pulls me into a comforting state of mind. I feel a smile form on face as I day dream about the angel resting in the next room. I know she is going to be pissed once she sees me. Maybe she won't be as upset if I make her a big breakfast. If I do little things for her, maybe she will slowly forgive me. That could take forever though. Ugh. Who am I kidding? What I did was completely unforgivable. There is nothing in this world that would justify what I did. Might as well start breakfast.

Lena's favorite thing to eat in the morning is an omelette with onions, spinach, mushrooms, tomatoes and of course a ton of cheese. I open her refrigerator and see that she has barely any food. She probably hasn't gone out of the house for weeks unless she absolutely had to. She has three eggs, 1/4 of a carton of milk, half of a big tub of greek yogurt, some rotting vegetables and some salvageable fruit. I look in the pantry for some inspiration. Luckily, there is a ton of baking supplies; an overload of sugar, flour, baking soda, baking powder, etc. What's a good light meal for breakfast? First thing that comes to mind, pancakes. Knowing Lena, she will probably want the healthier version. I grab my phone and search for a greek yogurt pancake recipe. Hopefully, Lena has all the ingredients:

Greek Yogurt

Vanilla Extract

Sugar

All-purpose flour

Baking Powder

Salt

2 Eggs

So she has barely enough food to make pancakes but not enough to make at least three meals a day. What? Has she been living off of sugar? Not the Lena I know. Not the cute-little-health-freak Lena I know. This is what my kitchen looks like when Brandon is off with Mike - empty. I grab all the ingredients needed, measure each one individually and mix it all in one big bowl. Yea, yea. I know that I am supposed to mix the powders first and then add the eggs and greek yogurt but I'm sure this will be fine. Once the pancake batter is nice and creamy, I get a pan from the designated pan cabinet, turn the stove on, spray the pan and get ready to make some awesome pancakes. I take the batter and pour a pretty decent amount in the hot pan and wait for the surface to bubble. Well, this is taking longer than I thought it would. I hum the jeopardy theme song while I "patiently" wait. Moments later, the surface starts to bubble. Finally! It took long enough. Now, I get to do my favorite part. I grab the spatula, loosen the edges and toss the pan in order to flip the pancake perfectly. I would make the perfect wife.

Not the perfect wife. The perfect wife would not be having an affair and currently cooking in the mistress' house. Lena is not my mistress and she never was. Every since I lied to her, I knew but kept denying, she has and always will have my heart. I love Mike, I do but he has never been able to make me feel the way Lena does. I don't understand why I can't stop thinking about my guilt. I can't live like this. I can't always feel like my heart is being pulled in two different directions. I can't keep living my life the way other people want me to. Mike doesn't deserve that. Lena doesn't deserve that. I don't deserve that. I need to make up my mind. I have made up my mind. I love Lena and I want to be with her for the rest of my life. But how can I prove that to her? I don't think pancakes is going to be enough to convince her.