Moments With You {Hiatis Until Further Notice}

Without Him

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**Kylie's POV**

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      I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to move on, and I didn’t want to start over. I wanted to run back home, back home to Stonington, Connecticut.  I wanted to get on the giant flying birds that would take me home.  That would take me back to how things used to be. Back to before I left, before I got my acceptance letter, before I met Emilee in the park. Back before Niall cheated on me. But I can’t. I can’t go home because I did get the acceptance letter and I did meet Emilee in the park. Niall did cheat on me. And that’s what it always comes down to, isn’t it? Everything is going smooth, perfect dare I say. And what happens? Someone messes up. Someone does a deed so terrible things will never be the same. Not because we beg for them to be and not because they come to realization they did what has been done and find themselves on their knees begging, pleading, praying for a second chance. Promising, assuring you they have changed, and things will be different should they be awarded another chance at what they lost. But do we give in? Do we sink to join them on our knees, grasping their hands in our own aying everything will be alright? That things will be able to go back to the way they were? When we open our eyes to the realities that are our lives, are we going to be content with the knowledge that the ones who broke us, the ones who so easily trashed all we had together, have weaseled their ways back in after we so solemnly swore we wouldn’t let them in close enough to tear us apart again. For that’s why I can’t go home. Niall cheated on me. No matter what I do to convince myself he didn’t mean anything by it, that he is still the same kindergartener I met so many years ago, he did exactly what he promised me he wouldn’t. He lied to me, he cheated on me, and he broke me.  I have to do this, not by choice of will, but for a greater good that is the sanity, the wellbeing of my persons.  

“Ky?”

“Yeah.”

“You ready?” I shredded my view of the eerily rainy elements on the other side of the silicone wall that kept me dry, bringing my focus to the overjoyed look of excitement on Rylee’s face.

I put on my best synthetic smile. “Yeah, go on ahead, I’ll catch you in a minute.”

“Alright just don’t forget to come inside babe!” I heard rather than saw Rylee unbuckle and hop out of the car, giggling all the while. The faint sounds if puddles being skipped through faded as I presumed Rylee had entered the diminutive coffee shop Corey and Cooper were meeting us at for our date.

“Kylie you’ve got to do this.” I whispered to myself as if fearing others would hear my dejected attempt of a pep talk. “You have got to get out of this car, you have to walk in there and have fun. You have to have fun without him. He’s the past. And the future? He’s sitting in there wondering where is date is, he’s sitting in there, waiting to make everything better, to heal all the scars cut do deep. So get out and walk in there with a real smile. A smile of hope for what he’ll be able to do for you.”

So I did. I unbuckled and stepped out into the misty rain dwindling from the gray sky above. Looking up, letting the cool beads clatter on my skin, allowing my mind to flood with happy memories with Asher and I playing in the park with dad on a rainy day such as today. With memories from the times when Niall and I were younger, when we were innocently nothing more than best friends with a inseparable bond. From the Girls Day On Town I had with Mum when I was 7. I could feel the sensitive rain sluggishly, gently chipping away the bad memories coating my stature, leaving only the shinning bright look on life I used to have.

“There you are!” Rylee called from a small, cozy corner booth with two boys seated around her, both admittedly consistent in their features, much like Rylee and I. The arm draped around Rylee’s petite shoulder no doubtedly  belonged to Cooper, though without the prior knowledge they were already talking, one would not be able pick out the two boys with only a mere glance. The boy who had his arm poised over Rylee looked as though he was a bit taller, broader built perhaps than the boy staring down his coffee cup. He had a genuine smile, giving off the bright glint as if his teeth were studded with stars almost. His smile, bordered with rosy pink lips rested carelessly beneath  the pale blue

eyes shielded with half lying eyelids, crinkles resting on their sides, a result of a hardy laugh erupting from his built torso.  He had a head of rusty brown hair, much like the color of Niall’s before he started dying it, leaving it to rest messily just before his eyebrows.

I found myself closer to the booth than I had remembered being a few moments before, looking down, realizing my feet were moving though I had no recognition of them doing such an action.

“Kylie, this is Corey, Corey this is Kylie.” Rylee said in a triumphant tone, no doubt proud that she set this up for us.

“Hi.” Corey whispered, still staring down the rim of his mug.  He was shy, though his features may be as pronounced as Cooper’s, the way he held himself spoke louder. Much like Cooper, he was broad built, but seemingly shorter.  His gaze flicked from the mug to meet mine, offering a smile, small, shy, much like his character. He wore a green sweater, resting messily over his ever so slightly slouched shoulders, bringing out the subtle green flecks hidden in his eyes.  

“Hi.” I offered the same form of smile, one belonging to only those who hurt deep inside, only those who are determined to mask their pain, never to reveal the scars etched so deep within. 

Corey’s hair looked fairly similar to that of Cooper’s with the exception to the blonded tints to the rustic color. His skin, as fair as it may be, looked as though it belonged on a porcelain doll.  He had his hands wrapped around the mug, and noting the fact the mug was no small one, saw his hands linked each other together on the flip side of the mug.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words flowed, due to the slicing of still air with Rylee’s funfilled laughter. I found that I was smiling at the thought of her being as happy as I used to be, and it was a real smile, despite how I felt on the inside.  Beside me I heard a faint huff, and glancing over I found Corey to have a smirk playing on his tired features. For what I had taken for shyness has revealed itself to be tired, not the sleep deprived tired but the tired I was on my way to Berkley.

“Did I miss something?” I ask Corey.

“No, it’s just, well never mind.”

“No, what is it? It’s all right, you can tell me.” Corey held this forbidden air to him, one that makes him seem closed, hostile almost, but there was a hole in that, one that made me want to keep talking to  him, almost as if he were enticing me to do so.

“Alright, just not here?” He said it as if he were asking rather than telling.

“Okay.”

There was something about him, perhaps the way he held himself, or maybe a hidden attribute unseen to the wavering eye, but I felt as though I had known him for a long time, yet that there was so much I still wanted to know.

“Hey, Coop, we’re gonna go to the park, catch ya back in the room?”

Cooper peered at him, chuckling, smiling, “Well that was fast, Alright, see ya there.”

Corey motioned out towards the door, much to the way Niall had in the homey restaurant only a month before.  I felt my heart drop a bit in my heart, reminding me that no matter how I played it off, not everything was golden, that I wasn’t okay, that my scars were open. But I hid it nonetheless, stepping out of the booth and heading towards the door, Corey right behind me.

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A/N..sorry it's short again guys, and again, sorry it sucks, I wanted to post a Christmas update for you guys, sorry it's late.

Stay lovely my oompa loompas :*

Cas x