Petals | Severus Snape

9 | The Cure

You sat up in bed, a frustrated sigh escaped your lips as you were not able to rest, no matter how exhausted you were. Looking around, you frowned to see the empty hospital wing, and started to miss the comfort of your bed with your friends around you. As soon as the thought of friends reached your mind, your conversation with the twins made you sit up straighter, feeling anxious out of all sudden.

Your best friends' words rang through your head, over and over again like a broken record, and you were not able to shut it as you started to contemplate their plead for you to tell Severus about your feelings. Perhaps it would not go wrong, if your professor could return your feelings. However, you knew it was not going to happen because he was in love with another, even if she was no longer here.  

You could still remember how sad he looked when you asked about her, and it would forever scarred you to know that it was only her in his heart.

"She was beautiful, wasn't she?"

Ignoring the pain in your heart, you forced a smile on your face, hoping that the professor could not tell how fake you were as you listened to him talking about his past love. It was not hard because he was staring into the distance, perhaps reminiscing about her in his head, and he did not even notice the tears in your eyes.

"She was. The only woman I've ever loved."

Your smile dropped, and something inside of you stirred, as much as you hated to admit it, you knew you were in love with your professor. And now as you had to listen to his stories, you wished you were loved just as much as he loved her.

"Perhaps it's time for you to find your own happiness, Professor." 

You sucked in a deep breath as your words made Severus turned to look at you, indescribable feelings were swimming in his eyes but he said nothing, and you tore your gaze from him, grateful that he was not angry for what you said.

"We should appreciate our memories, but we shouldn't live in our past."

You continued, hoping that he could see how important he was to you. Severus looked at you, and he saw something flashed across your face as you said those words, but he just let it be, not wanting to know what it was. He would regret it later, but at the moment he just wanted to be heard. 

"Thank you for being a listener to me, Y/N."

He thanked you, and your heart almost broke at how sad his eyes were. If only he would let you in, and allow you to make him believe in love once again. But you were just a student to him, a listener, and a friend. Not the one who loved him.

At least, you meant something to him.

"I'll always be here for you, Professor."

You were shook from you train of thoughts when Madam Pomfrey's voice got into your ears. She rushed towards you, a big smile was painted on her face and a hope fluttered in your chest, wishing that she had a good news for you. Her smile turned into a frown when she saw tears on your face.

"Have you been crying?"

You did not even realise that you cried before she mentioned it, clearly the memory of Professor Snape was starting to make you trip into a pit of agony. You quickly wiped your tears away, and gave her a smile.

"I'm fine now. Do you have something to tell me?"

The older witch nodded vigorously, a smile was back on her face.

"We have the potion to kill the flowers in your chest, and you'll be healthy again as soon as you drink it."

You almost cried at her words, chuckling heartily as she told you that you had a chance to live. Perhaps it could work, and you would be able to live your life like usual, and make all your dreams come true.

"But your love for the person will die along with the flowers, it will be gone forever." 

Your eyes grew wide as the realisation sunk deeper in your mind, trying to figure out what you were supposed to do now. If you took the potion, your love for Severus would die along with the poisonous flowers, and you would not be able to love him anymore. Forever.

"I can't stop loving him."

You refused, hot tears boiled in your eyes. It was the only solution that you had, but you were not strong enough to abandon your love for him. You would be wrecked if you woke up one day, and not loving the man that you were supposed to love.

"Y/N, you have to do this. This is your only choice."

She spoke softly, knowing that you were torn in between your life and your love.

"It's better not to be loved, rather than not being able to love at all."

You whispered under your breath, disappointing Madam Pomfrey as she just wanted to save you from your devastating fate. She never wanted such a young woman like you to waste your life for an unrequited love. She thought it was completely unwise for someone to let herself die because of love, but then again, she was not in your shoes. She was not the one who harboured such a strong love for somebody who was in love with another. Thus, she tried to understand your reasons and nodded weakly.

"The potion will be here tomorrow morning. I will give you time to think."

She gave you a sad smile and started to leave you to think. You knew you were being a fool if you rejected the potion, but it was tough for you to make a decision when your life and your love were at stake. Your heart was telling you to fight for your love, whilst your mind was battling against your feelings, screaming at you to forget him. After all, he had never loved you.

As you were losing yourself in your thoughts, you were surprised when Professor Snape barged in, with the twins hot on his tail, looking guilty as their eyes landed on you. They mouthed 'Sorry' at you, and you frowned. You wondered if they told Severus about your health condition, or did they tell him about your love as well?

Colours drained from your face as the thought fogged your mind, that Severus knew about your feelings for him. But upon seeing the look on his face, you could tell that your best friends did not break their promise to you. Perhaps they just told him about your condition, and for that, you were eternally grateful. 

Severus was worried when he saw you in the hospital bed, looking so fragile and weak, and as he was about to walk over to you, Madam Pomfrey pulled him aside, telling him about the disease and everything that has happened to you. You saw how his face turned from worried to scared, and suddenly you could see anger in his eyes that slowly melted into worry once again as he realised you were staring at him.

You held back your tears when he approached you, once Madam Pomfrey has left, and you swore you had never seen him so dejected before. It felt like time stopped as his eyes met yours, and at a moment like this, you were relieved to know that he never read your mind, thinking that it would invade your privacy, or else he would see how broken you were, and how much you loved him.

You were glad to see him there, and somehow you felt comforted, even if he was the reason you were dying. And Severus was oblivious to it as his next words stunned you, making you drop your gaze on your lap, avoiding his dark eyes.

"Y/N, who is he? Tell me."