Hello my name is: a PruCan fanfic

Chapter 7

I sighed softly and sat in my study hall class idly doodling over my English assignment.

A sappy love letter.

Snorting I crumple up the paper and shove it into my pocket too lazy to get up and throw it in the trashcan. How was I supposed to know about love? As if I've been treated with any in my life.

Watching as the bell rang indicating the start of class, I noticed that there was an absence in the seat next to mine.

Due to our class being too loud and disruptive we were forced into assigned seating for the rest of the school year. If we didn't like it, we were to "do something productive with our lives instead of lazing around in study hall." Of course my seat was to be right next to Gilbert's. I assumed that the study hall teacher wasn't aware that he was my only problem.

I didn't know whether to be relieved or worried by the fact being he hasn't missed a day of school since he started. It was a day before the long weekend though.

Turning back to a blank piece of paper I scowled and refrained from throwing my pencil across the room. English was my next class and I was never going to finish this on time.

Glancing at the clock, sighing, looking down, then glancing again the hour ticked by slowly, and I was convinced that it was also ticking away my sanity.

All of a sudden an omen was sent my way because, in the middle of this god forsaken study, the phone rang.

I have no clue how your schools work, or what a phone ring means to you while you're in school, but in my school it's sweet heaven. It means you get to escape class, even if it's for a minute. Nobody cares if you're getting called out of the room for something good or bad, all that matters is escape.

"Matthew Williams to the office please."

Sighing in relief I pack up my stuff and head down, not bothering to ask if I have to or not. I was free.

What was waiting for me was something I would have never expected in a million years. As soon as I opened the wooden door and stepped in. The first person a saw was Alfred, smiling nervously and waving. The next person I saw.... was my mother.

My heart froze then sunk to my stomach beating faster than normal as I saw her. My mother, gone so many years was standing in front of me. Tears filled my eyes blurring the image of her standing there in dark blue skinny jeans and gray high healed boots. She was wearing a white top with a gray cover, and a rainbow scarf sitting comfortably around her neck. Covering long, blonde hair that fell in messy curls was a knitted gray cap. Her eyes were a dark blue that sparkled as she looked at me. It felt awkward. Everyone staring. Watching as I regained my mother that was lost, taken away from me so long.
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The car ride seemed suffocating. Everything was fuzzy from when I saw her, anger and sadness flooded me so rapidly all glazed with happiness. I was already dazed, but when she said my name I broke down in a panic attack, crying and becoming short on breath. I've talked about her so much, like she was in my life. Like she was around, but honestly I had forgotten the way she looked. The way her eyes sparkled.

It took ten minutes to calm me down to normal, and by that time me and Alfred had to pack up the rest of our homework and get in the car.

That's where I'm sitting now, listening to the hum of the engine. To make it worse, it's just me and her, Alfred having to drive separate due to the fact he had driven his car to school. She kept trying to start conversation, but whenever I talked my voice cracked, and throat felt tight in an almost painful manor. I thought I was going to vomit.

"How have you been doing in school?"

"I've b-been getting A's and B's."

I couldn't tell her about the C's and D's, right? She would probably be disgraced and kick me out of the car at that moment. I'd never get to see her again.

"Are you in any sports?"

"N-No."

Did I hear disappointment in her voice at my answer? Maybe I should've lied.

"Are pancakes still your favorite food?"

"Yeah..."

Pride swelled my chest. She actually remembered something.

She seemed to run out of questions though, and I seemed to lose my voice. Staring out the window I brought a hand to my face to wipe away tears.

She may have ran out of questions, but the longer we drove in silence the more that formed in my head.

Why did you cheat? Why did you get the divorce? Why didn't you take both of us, or why didn't you take me? Did you know what this would do to him? Why didn't you try to contact me before now? Have you ever thought to stick a candle in a cupcake on my Birthday? Or did you just try to forget you had another son? Why did you come back now?

Through all these thoughts, I kept my mouth shut and wiped away tears. Tears of bitter anger, drowning sadness, and bright happiness.

Would dad even notice I wouldn't come home?

Watching as the car pulled into a driveway, I looked over the house. It was a medium sized sunny looking one floor house. Lawn well cared for despite the snow on it, and a bed of dirt where flowers would be planted. There was a wrap around porch porch and the house was a bright sunny color with a chocolate brown roof.

She sighed for a moment, not reaching for the handle as we sat together in the car.

"You've always been shy and polite with your emotions. Matthew.... what are you thinking?"

It felt like a loaded question as I sat and stared at my hands, a lump firmly placed in my throat. The anger wanted me to explode and yell at her for abandoning me. To show her the scars from the beatings and make her feel guilty for the Hell I was put through everyday. The happiness wanted me to hug her, asked her a millions questions and beg her to take me in. The sadness made me want to burst out crying and say nothing, just let her comfort me. All these reactions were too explosive for my timid nature as my brain pricked through the questions and I opened my mouth.

At first, nothing came out. Then in a soft strangled voice, betraying everything I felt, I whispered

"Why come back now?"

She didn't look surprised, as if she expected this question. The way she answered was like she had been practicing in a mirror, preparing herself for this moment for months.

"I've tried to ignore something unforgettable for so long. I wanted to fix this before it got the the point of no return."

Without another word I left the car, a gentle pain throbbing continuously in my heart as I listened to Alfred get out if his car and hug me happily, obviously not sensing the tension. The sadness. The hurt. Alfred just talked happily, talking about how his family was together again. How we were going to play games, sit at a table and play games, and reconnect.

He gushed about how we were going to be a family again. I wanted to laugh bitterly and shove it into his face that this was never going to happen.

'I've been trying to ignore something unforgettable for so long....'

Another year or two and she would've managed. I was easily ignored. Easily looked over. I don't see how she was having such a problem with it.

Entering the house with Alfred's arm slung around my neck, I kept quiet, offering a tight smile and falsely eager nod. Always so good at reading my emotions, they were invisible to him now. Invisible like I was to everyone else, and despite what everyone thought, invisibility hurt.

(A/N:
Hey! Thank you guys so much for reading this and commenting and everything! If you didn't notice Matthew focused on three main emotions while meeting his mother again which would be happiness, anger, and sadness. He's neglecting to acknowledge the fear of losing her again to save himself from pain. Don't be afraid to comment your opinions! Till next update!

Auf Wiedersehen!)