Hello my name is: a PruCan fanfic

Chapter 23

I avoided Gilbert after that, a cruel thing to do, but something I felt like I had to do.

Honestly after that I didn't do anything with my life. I sat at home staring at the TV for hours, or trying to draw a decent picture, trying to find a decent book to read. I ended up calling in sick to work a lot more, and taking different paths than normal to wherever I needed to go.

He got the hint, not talking to me, thank God. Although I could feel him staring whenever we crossed paths. It was made easier by the fact Gilbert was no longer in school.

From what I gathered he didn't seem upset, just.... determined.

After about a week I was visited one day in hockey practice, stopped on my way to the car.

"Dude what the fuck?"

"Alfred?" I murmur, staring up at a face that seemed to reflect mine so closely.

"Why are you and Gilbert not fucking right now?!"

"Jesus... Al, not right here." His bright blue eyes stared at me in an almost angry manor, which is funny considering what he was saying. I mean a little over a week ago he thought being gay was bad, now he was asking me why I wasn't fucking a guy. Alfred really needs to get his priorities straight.

Glancing around to make sure that no one was around, I really didn't want to get burned at the stake, I gesture for him to get in the car.

"You know our town, get in the car and don't yell." Pursing my lips as I watched Alfred without hesitation get into the passenger seat and slam the door shut behind him. Taking a deep breath I just stare up at the sky for a second.

I didn't want to talk to him, or about this, but did I have a choice?

Looking away from the bright light blue and the clouds of a million shapes, I opened the door. Plopping into the drivers seat and shutting it behind me, I was surprised that Alfred hadn't started ranting at me already.

"So, you're chickening out?" He asked, the question simple enough. It was one I could probably answer without flinching.

"Yeah. Look at where we live."

"So you're letting homophobic people stop you?"

"If that's what you want to say."

"Mattie..... I know you aren't much of a f-"

"No. I'm a fighter. I hate violence, and I'm not going to challenge the whole town and wake up dead in the ditch because I decided to like men."

Looking over I watched Alfred lean back into the seat and purse his lips, eyes narrowed as he stared ahead in thought. Finally he turned to me again, curiosity burning behind them as he slowly said, "Or you're afraid to wake up one day and find him dead in a ditch."

"I dont want to wake up one day and find anyone dead!" I spit back, before clenching my jaw and buckling up angrily. This isn't what I wanted to talk about after a long day of hockey practice. "Would you?"

"No, but Matt. You loved him, why ar-"

"I didn't love him Al. This isn't some sappy romance shit story. It was a crush. Some stupid thing that makes your heart beat faster and then dies out. Hell, I'm hoping this whole gay thing is a phase!"

"You don't mean that." He muttered, staring down at his shoes. "I know you don't. I've had crushes Mattie. You don't sit and smile until your cheeks hurt when you have crushes. You don't get this look in your eyes..."

"Oh shut it Alfred, you don't know what love is. I don't either. Just drop it."

"What happened to make this so toxic between you two? He told me what happened. I fucking know what happened Matthew. You two should be fucking dating, or married, adopting motherfucking cute. Ass. Babies!"