It's a Hard life | Hardzello♡

43. All my fault

When Gwil walks into the restrooms, he sees Ben standing in front of the sinks, tears running down his cheeks.
The boy hasn't noticed that Gwil is there yet, and is sobbing loudly.
Gwil can see that Ben isn't having a panic attack, which means something's really wrong. "Ben?" He says softly.
The blond immediately turns away from Gwil, in the hope to hide his puffy and red eyes from crying.
"What's going on?" Gwil asks as he walks over to the boy. He puts his hand on Ben's shoulder, turning him around.
"Nothing, it- it's just the lack of sleep." The blond sniffles while staring at the ground.
Gwil raises his eyebrow. "Yeah I'm not falling for that bullshit, I'm sorry. Now tell me what is really going on." He says as he lifts Ben's head so he can look the boy in the eye.
"This... this is all my fault Gwil. I got Joe into the hospital." Ben chokes out.
Gwil's eyes widen slightly, and he pulls his friend into a hug. "You know that's not true."
Ben shakes his head. "It is true." He mumbles. He pulls away of the hug, and takes out his phone with trembling hands. He hands it to Gwil.
The latter doesn't understand what Ben is trying to say at first. But when he reads the message on Ben's phone, he gets it.

(8:48 Pm) Unknown number:
Good evening Jones.
I hope you recovered well after our little meeting. I'm sorry for that, but killers should be punished. And since you're still not in jail yet, I'm here to give you that punishment.
I saw you've found another victim? Did you force that ginger boy to take you in? I mean, who'd want you around? Even if that boy is really your roommate/friend, you don't deserve it to have even a tiny bit of happiness in your life.
I was actually planning on paying your ginger boy a visit. But guess what? He found me. All I had to do was offering him a drink.
I hope we meet soon again. Then I'll beat the shit out of you again.
C.

"Ben, who sent this?" Gwil asks. He puts Ben's phone on the sink, so the boy can't look at the message anymore.
The blond doesn't answer the question, mostly because he is still sobbing loudly.
"Come sit with me." Gwil takes Ben's hand and pulls the boy along with him to the ground.
Ben lets it all happen, and puts his head on Gwil's shoulder once they have sat down.
"Ben, who sent this?" Gwil repeats his question.
The blond wipes his tears, which doesn't really work since there are still coming waterfalls out of his eyes. "The same guy who b-beat me up. A-Allen's brother." Ben manages to say.
Gwil puts his arm around the boy and gently rubs his hand over Ben's back, trying to comfort him.
After a few minutes of silence, the tears have stopped flowing. Ben takes a few deep breaths, while his mind is racing, searching for a solution. "I have to break up with him Gwil." Ben mumbles, his voice rough from all the crying.
Gwil's eyes widen. He isn't even sure if he understood that sentence correctly, but he's afraid he knows all too well what Ben said. "What?"
Ben closes his eyes and can feel his heart ache. "That's the only way Joe is a hundred percent safe." He says softly.

Gwil is about to tell the boy that breaking up isn't the solution to all of this, but then Rami enters.
"Hey, Joe is a bit worried about-" Rami stops talking when he sees Ben and Gwil sitting on the ground. He's quite shocked when he sees Ben's red and puffy eyes, and the tears that have stained his face. "Jeez... are you okay?" He asks as he kneels down.
Ben nods. "Yeah I'm f-fine." He mumbles.
Rami looks at Gwil, who shakes his head as a way to say that Ben isn't just fine.
"Ben this isn't the solution. And it's not your fault." Gwil says.
Rami's eyes widen. "You're not blaming yourself for all this, are you?" He asks.
Ben shrugs and stares straight ahead, avoiding his friends' gazes.
"He does blame himself and he wants to break up with Joe so he's safe." Gwil says.
Rami sits down in front of Ben and lifts the boy's head with his hand. "That's. Ridiculous." He says. He makes sure to emphasize his words, hoping he gets through to Ben.
Gwil nods in agreement.
Ben doesn't say anything.
"Maybe you should go to him. He's worried about you. Just sleep on it, okay?" Rami says.
Ben nods. "Okay. But please don't tell Joe yet? I don't want him to worry." He says before getting up. He walks out of the restrooms, towards Joe's room.
Gwil and Rami share a concerned look before following the blond. 

When Ben enters the hospital room, Joe immediately sits up straight in bed. "Benny, are you okay?" He asks concerned.
The blond doesn't say anything yet and walks over to Joe's bed.
"We're going home boys. Goodnight." Gwil says when he and Rami enter the room too.
Joe smiles and nods. "Goodnight."
Rami says goodnight as well, and then he and Gwil head home.
Without saying anything Joe pats next to him, as a sign for Ben to sit down.
Ben forces a smile and walks over to his boyfriend.
As soon as the blond has sat down, Joe puts his arm around the boy. "Talk to me baby." He whispers when he feels Ben trembling.
Ben puts his head on Joe's chest and closes his eyes. "I'm just so happy you're okay. I was so scared I'd lose you." He sniffles. Soon the tears start falling again. He almost lost Joe. And now the boy is okay again, but he'll still lose him. He has to break up with him, for the boy's safety.
"I'm okay. You can't get rid of me that quick." Joe whispers while rubbing his hand over Ben's back. He kisses Ben's forehead, earning a small smile from the boy.
For a few minutes, Ben just keeps his eyes closed and enjoys the sound of Joe's heartbeat. "Joey? You know I love you, right?" He whispers after a while of silence.
The ginger gives his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. "I do. Why are you asking that sweetheart?"
Ben shrugs and buries his face into the fabric of Joe's hoodie.
Joe hears him mumble something, but can't exactly figure out what. With his index finger he lifts Ben's head. "Repeat that please." He says with a chuckle.
"I said: I just want you to know that I love you, so much." Ben says. He yawns, and puts his head on Joe's chest again.
The ginger can't help but smile. "I love you too." He whispers. "You should go home to get some sleep. You look exhausted. Rami told me that you didn't leave my side once when I was asleep?" He says.
Ben nods. "I wanted to be here when you'd wake up." He mumbles.
Joe intertwines their fingers. "That's sweet Benny. But I'm awake now. Go home baby. Try to get some sleep." He whispers.
Ben immediately shakes his head. This might be one of the last nights he can cuddle with Joe. "I wanna stay with you. Please?" He says with big innocent eyes.
Joe giggles and nods. "Okay then. But you still need to try to get some sleep." The ginger says softly. Although he knows that that won't be a problem, since he can see Ben's eyes fall close already.
"I love you blondie." He whispers as he watches the love of his life doze off in his arms.

Twenty minutes after Ben fell asleep, Joe finally starts to get sleepy too. He closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling of Ben's head on his chest. He opens his eyes again when he hears someone entering the room.
"Hi Joe." The nurse says softly.
The ginger catches her at smiling widely when she sees Ben fast asleep against him.
"I thought you might wanted to hear this good news." The nurse says with a smile.
Joe doesn't know what she means, but nods anyway.
"The blood results show that your blood is totally clean again. You can go home tomorrow. You have to take things very slow though. You'll be quite tired from the medications we gonna give you."
Immediately a big smile appears on Joe's face. "Really? I thought it would take a few days before my blood would be clean again?" He says surprised.
The nurse shrugs. "It normally would, but I guess you just have a hard working body." She says.
Joe chuckles softly.
The nurse is about to leave the room when she turns around again. "You're very lucky with him." She says, her eyes on the sleeping Ben. "He never left your side, and talked to you about everything going on in the world."
Joe smiles big time, and runs his hand through Ben's hair. "I know I'm lucky, I always have been." He says proudly.
The nurse smiles. "Make sure you two are separated when the doctor comes in tomorrow morning. Hospital regulations say you're actually not allowed to sleep in the same bed." She says.
Joe smiles and nods. "Got it."

________________
Hey everyone,

I'm sorry for not uploading the past weeks, but I've been very busy with school, and the last few days I've been in battle with a hundred and five fever (41°C). I even had to go to the doctor's office because my temperature kept rising.

Anyways, I'm still alive and I hope you enjoyed this chapter♡