*This chapter does include the f slur and I under NO circumstances condone the use of slurs if it is not your word to claim. I am a member of the lgbtq+ community but I wouldn't feel comfortable saying it outside of writing. just wanted to make you aware and I'll censor it if homophobic language is a trigger for anybody. thank you.*
Saturday October 30th, 2010
Blaine's POV:Being alone is a funny thing.
Here I am, in a banquet hall surrounded by my closest friends at the biggest event of the year. And somehow, I've never felt so isolated in my entire life.
Ribbons of crimson and terracotta adorned the ceiling, decorative leaves scattered on linen tablecloths. The stage had been set up for the Warblers, risers, and microphone stands at the ready. Yet, I'm not in the mood to sing, there's no energy in my body left for dancing, and watching the other couples makes me sick to my stomach.
Those notes never stopped since Thursday, finding them under pillows, slid through doorways. It was torture.
The worst part is that they got my hopes up, too. That maybe, just maybe I'm wanted. What a load of crap.
I thought that this could be my redemption for that Sadie Hawkins from hell freshman year. That the tight knot in my abdomen would melt away when mystery boy revealed himself. But now, seeing guys laughing, kissing, loving their girlfriends reminds me that no matter where I go I'll always be an outsider.
"Blaine, you alright? You haven't left this table since we got here."
Nick took the space across from me, genuine concern was written all over his face. I had helped him into his suit upon our joint arrival, that fucker never learned how to tie a tie.
"Just peachy. Never been better, couldn't be having more of a blast", I remarked, sarcasm lacing every word.
He brushed off nonexistent dust from his jacket and sat in silence, sensing the simmering anger I was exuding. "Do you wanna talk about it? I've never seen you so hung up on someone like this. And I've got all the time in the world since Jeff ditched me for Bas."
My eyes raked across the hall, noticing a group of three huddled in the corner. The peppy blonde and Kurt were consoling a shaky lithe figure. And if I'm not going insane, I'm almost one hundred percent certain I caught a glimpse of.....a skirt?
"Yeah I know, something happened between Seb and Hunter last week and I think he's still a little shook up about it. So while my dashing date is fulfilling his wingman duties, you're gonna spill. What's up?"
I sucked in a gulp of air and downed the rest of my raspberry punch like a shot. If I had to be stuck here I might as well let it all out.
"He never showed. Or at least he never came to find me. Do you think it was just a stupid joke someone pulled to mess with me? Cause maybe that's all those letters ever were."
Nick took a second to think before he glanced back to the edge of the room. "Look man, I'm no matchmaker but I do know some things about relationships. And what I've realized is waiting for the fear of rejection only sets you back further. But if you're honest with yourself and put it all on the line, it gets easier from there."
He ran to the other side of the table, pushing me from the chair and shoving me into the dance floor. "Now come on sad sack, I'm done watching you wallow in pity. Let's be dumb teens for once!"
Jeff had joined us minutes later, saying that Kurt had gone to walk Sebastian back to his dorm. Hunter had gone in for a kiss that Seb couldn't reciprocate and things have been tense for a while. Regardless, Nick and Jeff went straight into their... hands-on practices. Public boundaries don't exist to them.
A stern voice emerged from the steady rhythm of the song behind us. "What did we tell you about PDA guys, if you show any tongue, an unwanted make-out session has begun."
Kurt stood among us, hip cocked to the side with a mock grimace hiding a slight giggle. His hair sat in a seamless coif, barely noticeable glitter framing his lower lash line. The most intriguing addition to his ensemble however was the knee-length kilt hugging his slender physique.
It wouldn't have worked on anybody else but Kurt made it seem that pants were a thing of the past for men's attire. Wishing I had my drink considering the dryness coating my throat at the sight. Instead, I opted to change the subject before I came on as borderline gawking.
"So, uh, what's going on with Seb and Hunter lately? They seemed to be doing so well after the whole tutoring thing."
Kurt shook his head in dismay, picking at the hem of his collared button-up. "Wish I knew more, but the only intel I could get was that they had a moment in the locker room after practice and Seb fled to get out of a kiss. It sucks, they would make such a great couple if they could just communicate with each other."
Right. Couple. What a foreign concept.
"What about you? Did you ever get the name of the anonymous author to your letters?" He uttered more like a second thought.
Kurt had been the only one in the group not pouring hours into the search and it started to worry me. Did he not care about my happiness? But he hadn't forgotten our outdoor exchange from a few days ago. "Never found him. It was probably a fluke anyway, nobody here has shown any interest in me until last week. Enough of me, how are you doing Mr. Single suitor?"
A blush settled upon his high cheekbones as he awkwardly rubbed his arms. "I mean, I asked someone a while ago but he had something to do last minute. Which directly translates to, 'no thanks sweetie, you're not my type.' Wouldn't be the first time."
It felt like I should do something to comfort Kurt. Tell him that this guy he asked was ridiculous for dipping on such a prime opportunity. But I'm not the one you'd go to if you need advice in the love department.
"Well, you should know"-
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME FAG!? I THINK YOU FORGOT YOUR PLACE HERE!"
- that I think your worth more than anybody in this place.
Hey guys! So I know I've been kinda ghosting for about three weeks but I wanted to take some time away from my mental health and investing my time into school but I'm back baby! I can't believe that we're over 5k now and I'm so grateful for every person reading this right now. A valentine's day update seemed appropriate and I PROMISE that after next week's chapter I'll work on my pacing so it doesn't take me two years to finish the story. Anyways, have a great morning, afternoon, or evening as always! You are brave just for being yourself.
Your fellow gleek,
- Lindsay💕
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Warbler Infections
FanfictionWhen Kurt transfers to Dalton he has no idea what he's getting himself into. The boys all seem average and almost normal on the outside, but looks can be deceiving. Will he adjust to a new life, new friends, and a new infatuation? Includes Klaine...