Warbler Infections

Chapter 20: "Feels like a solo tonight"

Tuesday September 21st, 2010
Blaine's POV:

      "So, what do you think about the council's rule on sectionals?"

   Kurt and I were at the dining hall close to the end of operating hours. I had boxing club while he had debate practice after our Warblers rehearsal. Ugh, Warblers rehearsal. Maybe I'm just callous that they stole my solo, but to not even let me audition? That's frustrating. And I think Kurt could tell.

   "Blaine, are you sure you're fine about this?" I looked up from my Italian essay, trying not to take my anger out on him.

   "Of course, what makes you say that?" Kurt gave me a 'bitch please' glare at the salad I was currently stabbing to near death.

   "No. It's just......." I sighed searching for the right words. "Aren't I like, the superstar of the Warblers? All the solos, the leads, the praise goes to me. I don't even realize it because I'm so caught up in myself. It's the only thing I have."

   Kurt cautiously took my hands in his and looked straight at me. Wow. We're his eyes always that blue? "But you're also so much more than that, Blaine. The Warblers are a brotherhood which means we all do our part, no doubt about it. So what if you don't get to sing lead this competition? You still get to be a part of a team that'll go to regionals this year. That's just as rewarding."

   I bit my lip and nodded. Kurt's right, this year is about being a group that supports one another unconditionally. And frankly, I haven't been holding up my end of the bargain.

   "You're never wrong. Besides, it'll be a welcomed change to sway in the back. I'm sure you could tell me all about it."

     He scoffed, slapping away my hand that was trying to take his roasted potatoes. "If you think you can insult me and then steal my dinner than you're horribly mistaken Anderson." I deserved the baby carrot he chucked at my nose.

    "What about you? Are you up for the solo, being the newbie and all?" He seemed shocked that I had mentioned it. I have no clue why, there are hardly any open auditions so this would be a huge opportunity.

  "Well, the solo should go to somebody who earned it, not the new kid. I wouldn't feel right waltzing in and hogging the spotlight. Maybe next time." His smile didn't reach his eyes as he continued sketching. There was more to this.

   "Are you sure that's the only reason? Because you think you haven't worked hard enough? That doesn't sound like the Kurt Hummel I know. Tell me the truth." He put down his pencil and sighed.

   "I've never gotten a competition solo before. Or a duet. Or a verse of my own. Nobody would let an inexperienced transfer get the lead over a senior. I know, I'm pathetic." There was a glaze on his eyes and I could see his complexion become paler. This was really bothering him, whatever it was.

   He contemplated what to say next. "And, the one solo I wanted.....I threw it on purpose. It took a lot for me to do that, and ever since that day I stopped trying. Rachel got the part, because she's a girl and that's what people wanted to see. I've pretended that it was fine, but......it, it still stings so much."

   He buried his face on my blazer letting the tears spill out as he mumbled incoherent nothings. It was difficult watching my headstrong, courageous friend be moved to this sobbing mess. And it broke my heart. He's been bottling up all these memories from his past rather than letting them out healthily. That's how we ended up here.

   "Just want........something.........to go my way........for once in my life." He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, rubbing the tears out of my jacket instead of the ones on his face. Typical Kurt. I gently cupped his cheeks so he would listen.