The Hideout I Need

Chapter 16: You'll never see stars like this in Seoul

Hyeong-jun lay with his eyes open, looking at the ceiling. He was in a nice and comfy bed but he couldn't for the life of him fall asleep. He sat up, looking around the room with all the other boys scattered on each of their beds. He looked to his left at the bed beside him, Tae-young looking peacefully asleep — he couldn't help but wonder how he could look that perfect while sleeping.

Hyeong-jun quietly got up from his bed and made his way towards the door. As he stepped out into the hallway, he walked over towards the terrace door. Maybe a nice view would make him sleepier.

He stepped out on the wooden terrace, taking in a deep breath of the fresh air. The terrace was quite large as it also served as a roof for the room below. There was garden furniture scattered around, which must've been great for lounging on the Ham family holidays. He walked up to the railing and leaned his arms on it.

Hyeong-jun looked out and could barely make of the view. It was so dark. However, he could see the ocean from a distance, the moon reflecting brightly in the water. He let out a very faint smile at the sight, just breathing in the cold air.

Suddenly, the sound of the terrace door sliding open startled Hyeong-jun, causing him to turn around and look. His face fell into a smile as he noticed it was Tae-young who came out, slowly walking up to him.

"Can't sleep?" Tae-young asked as he also leaned his arms against the railing.

"No... I guess I really am not good at sleeping in foreign environments," Hyeong-jun chuckled.

Tae-young smiled, turning his head towards Hyeong-jun, "Well, tell me what's on your mind."

"Nothing is on my mind," Hyeong-jun giggled shyly.

"There has to be something on your mind."

"You," Hyeong-jun turned his head and looked at Tae-young with a soft smile, feeling good after giving at least some sort of confession. But he already felt embarrassed, so he had to cover it up a little, "I mean, how are you feeling? You had me a little worried before the holidays."

"Ah, yeah, sorry about that," Tae-young let out a nervous chuckle.

"Don't say sorry, you did nothing wrong," Hyeong-jun smiled softly to reassure him, "All that matters to me is that you feel better."

"I feel so much better. Thanks to you," Tae-young smiled genuinely, "I mean, I don't know what I would've done if you didn't happen to find me at that time."

Hyeong-jun couldn't help but let out a little smile at that sentence.

"But enough about me, I was asking what was on your mind."

Hyeong-jun smiled softly, "Well if you must know, I wasn't really thinking about anything. Not anything serious anyway. Maybe I was just... thinking about life? If that makes sense."

"Life? That's a pretty large topic," Tae-young chuckled.

"I know, I know," Hyeong-jun chuckled as well, "I guess... if I really think about it I feel a little... trapped? Somehow? There's so much out there, so many things to experience. I spend most of my days in school just trying to get by, but I could be out exploring the world and living my life to the fullest. I wouldn't have to hide anymore. I could just... be openly me."

Tae-young's eyebrows furrowed, "Openly you? Why can't you do that now?"

Hyeong-jun let out a sad smile, knowing that was something Tae-young would just never understand. He smiled faintly, "I just can't. Not at this school. Not in front of these people."