The Hideout I Need

Chapter 29: Did I really not mean anything to you?

It had been three days since Hyeong-jun even stepped foot in school. And needless to say, Tae-young was worried sick. He could barely focus on anything in school, let alone manage to sleep and eat properly. He spent every hour awake wondering if Hyeong-jun was doing well.

Being at school felt unreal. The teachers found out about the situation but didn't seem to take actual action against anybody. They sadly just didn't have enough power to do anything about it. The topic of Hyeong-jun just continued to be all people would talk about. Reactions were starting to get a little mixed, but there was no denying they were still overwhelmingly negative. A common phrase that was thrown around was about how Hyeong-jun shouldn't be going to an all-boys school if he's gay. Tae-young would always get furious when he heard people say that.

And on top of that, the friend group was on the verge of disintegrating. Se-rim seemed to have isolated himself, especially from Jung-mo. As far as Tae-young noticed, the two wouldn't exchange any words despite sitting right by each other. Se-rim would always leave first during lunch breaks, leaving Jung-mo to look bothered. Won-jin and Se-kwon would still hang out together, but whenever Tae-young would see them, none of them would look happy. The entire atmosphere had been destroyed.

Tae-young didn't want to talk to any of them despite Se-rim's attempts to catch his attention a couple of times. He was so caught up in the situation he wouldn't be able to talk to any of them even if he wanted to. But all that time alone hadn't been great for the complexities of Tae-young's feelings. Hearing all the bad words people said about Hyeong-jun behind his back made Tae-young furious. The amount of rage and pain that went through his body whenever he heard someone talk bad about the one he cared about the most was enough to drive him crazy.

And that's when he caught himself. He realized that Hyeong-jun was the one he cared about the most. Realizing that sent his thoughts into a spiral. He was almost sure. It couldn't be any other way. He liked Hyeong-jun.

But those feelings were a part of himself he didn't even know existed. He had never liked any guys before, but there was no denying that it was a part of who he was. Whenever Tae-young saw Hyeong-jun his heart fluttered. He always wanted to care for him. All he wanted right now was to hold him in his arms and tell him it'd all be okay. He hadn't yet come to terms with those feelings.

He didn't know why he was feeling this way, but he had to post-pone the identity crisis. He had to find Hyeong-jun first. Talk to him. Be a shoulder to cry on. Be a friend, first and foremost.

But if he managed to find Hyeong-jun, should he tell him how he's feeling? And if he told him, would Hyeong-jun even still have feelings for him? The very reminder of Sun-woo was extremely bitter to Tae-young. He hated thinking about him. He had finally admitted that he was jealous. He was so jealous it was driving him insane. And he felt so disgusted with himself whenever he felt any type of envy.

Tae-young wondered if the reason Hyeong-jun hadn't contacted him, was that he had talked about this whole situation with Sun-woo. Of course, he'd understand why. Sun-woo is gay as well and would probably understand the situation, and all the things Hyeong-jun was feeling, better. But Tae-young couldn't help but feel a little hurt that Hyeong-jun hadn't talked to him at all. The number of texts and calls that he had sent were overwhelming. There was no way that he hadn't seen any of his messages.

The fact that the messages hadn't even been read made Tae-young very anxious. He even feared Hyeong-jun would've done something... drastic. Even thinking about that made his heart beat faster from fear. He had to meet him.

Tae-young had an idea to find him in person. He stood in front of the convenience store, 11:57 PM, praying that Hyeong-jun still went to work. He knew Hyeong-jun well enough to know that would always go to work no matter the circumstances. It was a depressing thought, but he'd go to work even if he was extremely sick. It was just the type of person he was. Tae-young sat on the tables and chairs outside, waiting anxiously as the clock went past midnight, wondering if Hyeong-jun would ever come out.