The Hideout I Need

Chapter 37: The past, the present and the future

T/W: homophobic slurs, parental abuse, mentions of self-harm

If there was one thing Hyeong-jun was thankful for, it was the people around him. He had an amazing boyfriend he loved more than anything. He had an amazing sister who had always worked harder than anyone to take care of him. He had a lovely set of grandparents who still loved and cared for him despite being openly gay, something he knew not everyone was lucky to have. And he had his friends back. Which made him happier than ever.

The amount of pure joy he had these past two weeks now that he was friends with them again was beyond anything he could describe. Being able to go to internet cafes and watch Won-jin get competitive while playing games. Being able to hang out and talk freely about anything. It was almost as if nothing had happened. Except for... maybe one thing. Koo Jung-mo.

Hyeong-jun hadn't really seen him those past two weeks. It came as a big surprise to all of them when they came back to school Monday morning and heard Mr. Lee give the news: Jung-mo was switching classes. He was now in Class 8, just next door. Mr. Lee briefly mentioned that it was because he wanted to study harder, but Hyeong-jun kind of assumed that wasn't the case. He knew Jung-mo well enough.

Hyeong-jun only ever saw him when he walked by Class 8 and glanced through the class's window — he was always alone. But Hyeong-jun knew that there was nothing he could do that would help. No matter what he did, it would probably make matters worse. So he just accepted that it was out of his hands for now. He decided to just spend time with the people who he knew he could talk to.

However, today, Tae-young and Hyeong-jun decided to eat lunch alone — just the two of them. It was the 15th of October, exactly 7 months since White Day aka the day where Tae-young bought Hyeong-jun a drink that sparked a million butterflies.

So they decided to eat outside in a more secluded part of the school grounds, eating a meal that Tae-young prepared for them from home rather than at the cafeteria. It was very comforting, just the two of them in their puffy coats, leaning up against the huge oak tree and eating homemade egg-fried rice. And even after they finished eating, Hyeong-jun sneaked his hand into Tae-young's jacket pocket to intertwine his fingers with the hand hiding in there from the cold.

"Of course, you're the type of person to casually read books under an oak tree," Hyeong-jun chuckled.

"You know me well enough by now, don't you?" Tae-young smiled, momentarily removing his gaze from the book to glimpse at Hyeong-jun.

Hyeong-jun felt his heart flutter again. He softly laid his head on Tae-young's shoulder and snuggled closer to him as he tightened his grip on his hand for a second. His eyes felt heavy and he could feel his body wanting to go to bed.

"Are you falling asleep?" Tae-young giggled.

"No, but I could," Hyeong-jun opened his eyes and slowly lifted his head, drowsily gazing softly at Tae-young. He quickly removed his hand from Tae-young's pocket, clapping his cheeks with both hands to wake himself up, "I'm gonna go buy drinks from the vending machine. We still have half an hour left of break right?"

"Yeah, I think so," Tae-young put his book down, "Are you getting our usuals?"

"That was my plan but I'm starting to think I'll need a coffee instead," Hyeong-jun laughed before getting up on his feet, "I'll be right back!"

Hyeong-jun walked into the school building hoping he could use the vending machine on the first floor but realized that he didn't even have his wallet in the first place. And he just knew. He knew it was in that stupid desk slot that made his blood boil. So he had to walk all the way back up into the class. On the third floor.